Breaking Habits

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Viewing 50 posts - 51 through 100 (of 173 total)
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  • #657202
    anonymisss
    Participant

    Nah, if you’re not really interested in hearing, I’m not here to bother or aggravate you, y’know.

    ~a~

    #657203
    kapusta
    Participant

    moish interesting picture… but i guess thats the way it really is with a bad habit

    try, whenever you “eat a cookie” make yourself do something that you really hate to do after. say do an hour on a treadmill per cookie, every time you think of doing it, you’ll associate the enjoyment of the cookie with the treadmill and you’ll start to hate the habit itself 🙂

    #657204
    joyous
    Member

    or you crash every once in a while- which could be worse.

    why is it worse? to give in once in a while is nto good but certainly better than all the time.

    #657205
    seeallsides
    Participant

    there is no easy formula for breaking a bad habit – especially one that has given you so much grief in the past – stop looking for an easy formula – obviously it is a tough habit to break- and it does not make you happy – i think you have to come to terms with the fact that you are the master and the habit is not –

    so now – take advantage of everybody’s advice – and Prepare Yourself – you are AT WAR.

    1)get rid of the ability to do the habit – get rid of the cookies – the books, program your computer to turn off automatically after whatever time your limit should be-

    2)visualize what you will do when temptation hits –

    – i will repeat these 10 catch phrases – i will look at my list

    – i will remember how i feel afterwards, etc. etc.

    3)realize what a great accomplishment it will be when you can say – 1 month ok, 1 year ok, 5 years ok etc.

    4)Distract yourself – get busy, get involved, help someone…..

    5)find reasons why your bad habit is offensive – (i had so much trouble stopping to bite my nails – even on shabbos i’m embarrassed to say) and then i heard someone say that chewing on your nails is like eating neveilah) and i couldn’t get rid of my nails – so i kept on thinking neveilah, neveilah…… and i stopped

    6)if you slip – you can’t beat up on yourself, just start again – if you focus on the failure you will not be able to start up again – but if you remember that you were successful for x times, you can focus on the success. It’s a great success – it is hard to break a habit.

    sorry if this is more than you want……. you sound like a great guy – hang in there!

    #657206
    moish01
    Member

    kapusta, wouldn’t work because i would never “punish” myself. i’m not exactly the most disciplined guy…

    joyous, why could it be worse? to keep with our example – instead of eating one cookie you eat a whole box.

    #657207
    anonymisss
    Participant

    ok, anonymisss (why am i doing this to myself??) what was it?

    Moish, I wasn’t going to tell you that you belong in school or that you should at least be working. All I was going to say is that you can make yourself an asset to your family and friends by making a point of going out of your way to do one nice thing for someone that you wouldn’t normally do. Will that give you something to do all day? No. It will make you be able to go to sleep at night (or whenever) and say, “I did something of value today.” That is all.

    ~a~

    #657209
    moish01
    Member

    anonymisss, i visit the old age home every day 😉 ames can testify.

    seeallsides (you do see plenty of sides!),

    1. impossible.
    2. i could try but it won’t stop me forever
    3. yeah right
    4. … no comment… (and that wouldn’t either stop me forever)
    5. sure. every time i find myself stuck in it i think “gehenom”

    really, it’s not the immediate that’s the problem. that i could control. but in the long run a ALWAYS manage to fall back. again and again. so even if i have control i know it’s only temporary.

    #657211
    anonymisss
    Participant

    moish, I am totally serious. That answer will not be accepted. Sorry.

    #657212
    moish01
    Member

    hey i’m not selfish, but what do yo want me to do? i hardly even leave my house anymore. i’m nice to my mother and my siblings. so what else?

    #657213
    moish01
    Member

    I think you know how to avoid your bad habits but you’re in the worst possible situation to work on it.

    joyous, care to explain what that meant? i’m blank.

    #657214
    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    moish- a few points:

    – davening for help is not only to help stop doing aveiros, it’s for all aspects of life.

    – it helps to have someone physically involved. A while back, a sibling of mine helped kick a very bad habit/aveira. She just took the situation/fight out my hands and I never had to deal with it again. She explained it was a ‘lion teivah’- something that rears it’s head at the most inconvenient, unexpected, spotty, sudden moments and we have almost no control over it. Once you are in the middle- you can’t stop. So we need to be proactive. Get someone involved, to help, to prevent. You never know- many times they have new ideas that work. Or- they can help implement known ideas (not argue that it’s “impossible” or won’t work!)

    PS- please excuse any confusion, have a massive headache

    #657215
    moish01
    Member

    areivim, i have two things in my head and i don’t know which one you’re thinking.

    #657216
    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    mind games… do you think we have telepathy? if so you should be able to narrow it down… right… about… now! ;);)

    #657217
    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    funny moish- I couldn’t decide between 2, then realized 1 of them was semi discussed here already, so…

    #657218
    moish01
    Member

    no can do. forget it. it’s a lost cause.

    #657219
    moish01
    Member

    neither of them were discussed here… unless i missed it. you wanna point out what you meant by that??

    #657220
    kapusta
    Participant

    moish theres punishing and theres punishing. it could work if youre willing to follow through with the “punishment” 🙂

    #657221
    joyous
    Member

    moish, you said that your whole life is “one bored waste of time”. Well such a situation gives rise to the problem you’re struggling with. I think SAS had good tactics but it seems like you feel your problem is too big for those ideas. But as many posters have said there is NO easy way. Try to limit your exposure to cookies and when you feel the problem starting use the methods mentioned- distraction, leave wherever you are, remind yourself how bad you’ll feel after…(maybe I am way off base and am thinking of the wrong issue, but I don’t think so)

    areivim, may I know what ‘the book’ is?

    #657223
    kapusta
    Participant

    joyous check your transmitter 😉

    #657224
    joyous
    Member

    kapusta-what?!

    #657225
    kapusta
    Participant

    mind games… do you think we have telepathy? if so you should be able to narrow it down… right… about… now! ;);)

    areivim, may I know what ‘the book’ is?

    🙂

    #657226
    moish01
    Member

    joyous, in other words, i gotta change my whole life to maybe change this one thing. maybe if i had more yiras shomayim.

    #657227
    kapusta
    Participant

    moish, not to start hammering you (again) but maybe this is the way to change, youve said many times on here that you are not happy the way you are now… one step at a time is the way to go 🙂

    #657228
    moish01
    Member

    i never said i’m not happy! find one place where i said that!

    #657229
    postsemgirl
    Member

    moish01: If I understand what you are trying to talk about, I had/have a similar struggle and I went to many people to ask them what to do and basically they said to get more yiras shamaim. I said thanks that really helps but I am still struggling and not getting anywhere. no one can understand a specific person’s struggle and everyone struggles differently. everyone has to figure out what works for them. Maybe when I find out what works for me I’ll let you know. If it helps, your not the only one out there struggling!

    #657230
    aussieboy
    Participant

    mosih01: A common misconception that because your not doing the right thing it means your not happy.

    postemgirl: If I understand correctly what he is talking abou then I dont think you know what he is talking about.

    #657231
    moish01
    Member

    aussie, wait, because she’s a girl? it’s different, but maybe yes.

    by the way you’re a little off in your thinking

    #657232
    joyous
    Member

    aussie- postsem can have a similar struggle to moish

    moish, no need to change your whole life although it would make things easier. Use methods mentioned above for when you are face to face with the challenge.

    #657233
    aussieboy
    Participant

    Obviously im way off

    #657235
    striving
    Member

    lol this whole misunderstanding what the habit is cracks me up!

    #657236
    aussieboy
    Participant

    striving: Misunderstanding? You sound like you know what it is.

    #657237
    striving
    Member

    aussieboy: i totally don’t. that’s what makes it so funny…

    #657238
    aussieboy
    Participant

    moish01: Is there a reason you cant just say what it is?

    #657239
    anonymisss
    Participant

    I narrowed it down to 2 choices and I have no clue which it is.

    ~a~

    #657240
    moish01
    Member

    aussie, i don’t think you’re that way off, but let’s drop it before this gets out of hand.

    #657241
    anonymisss
    Participant

    aussie, I wonder if mods would let it through.

    ~a~

    #657242
    moish01
    Member

    aussie, yeh this place is supposed to be rated G

    #657243
    aussieboy
    Participant

    moish01: Ok then im not way off.

    #657244
    postsemgirl
    Member

    moish01: who were you talking to when you said

    “by the way you’re a little off in your thinking”

    #657246
    kapusta
    Participant

    maybe we should kick AOB out if shes under 13… moish I dont remember where you said it but you definitely implied it a few times. just in case I missed the boat on this one, are you really happy now? 🙂 I think I’m pretty sure what youre talking about but if you dont start somewhere then how is it supposed to change? 🙂

    #657247
    moish01
    Member

    sure i’m happy most of the time. (and no one’s ALWAYS happy so don’t go there.)

    kapusta, i think the age is 18, actually.

    ames, example?

    #657248
    aussieboy
    Participant

    moish01: age for what?

    ames: Not an easy thing to punish yourself.

    #657249
    moish01
    Member

    well kapusta said we might needa kick out AOB if she’s under 13. i wanted to clarify and make that age 18…

    #657250
    aussieboy
    Participant

    why 18? im confused why would we need to kick her out even if she was under 13?

    **EDIT**

    Oh. i get it now, I guess he was referring to PG13, and R is 17.

    #657251
    Jax
    Member

    if the cr legal age was 18….you too would not be here!!! i’m just sayin!!!

    #657253
    moish01
    Member

    who says i do everything so legally? 😉

    #657254
    aussieboy
    Participant

    Jax: Not really he would have just lied about his age 😉

    #657255
    Jax
    Member

    moish: oh no!!!!

    #657256
    Jax
    Member

    lucky for you too no legal age here!!! sweet dreams you 2!!! i’m really goin now!!!

    #657257
    aussieboy
    Participant

    JAX: OUR MINYAN!!!!!! oh well i guess i wont be able to daven with a minyan today 😉

Viewing 50 posts - 51 through 100 (of 173 total)
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