Home › Forums › Shidduchim › boys staying home
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January 10, 2016 4:50 am at 4:50 am #617027BramoParticipant
if a boy doesnt go to a out of town yeshiva or israel is that a reason to be concerned and will he have a hard time gettting married
January 10, 2016 4:56 am at 4:56 am #1132945JosephParticipantNo.
January 10, 2016 6:38 am at 6:38 am #1132946Mashiach AgentMemberNo
Every boy is different and some don’t feel mature enough to become independent to go out of town for Yeshiva. Others want to stay local for other reasons. How many reasons can you think of why today it’s more popular for boys to stay local then it was 20 years ago?
January 10, 2016 6:48 am at 6:48 am #1132947HolalaParticipantNot at all just the opposite
January 10, 2016 3:13 pm at 3:13 pm #1132948Ex-CTLawyerParticipantNo.
In fact as a parent I prefer that boys be where their parents can keep a proper eye on them.
January 10, 2016 3:28 pm at 3:28 pm #1132949☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantIt’s not such a big deal. He can just marry a girl who didn’t go to sem.
January 10, 2016 4:33 pm at 4:33 pm #1132950👑RebYidd23ParticipantIt’s silly to be the person you don’t want to be in order to get married to someone whom the person you want to be wouldn’t even like.
January 10, 2016 6:29 pm at 6:29 pm #1132951WolfishMusingsParticipantI didn’t go out of town and I didn’t have any problem finding a wife. In fact, had I gone out of town, I would not have met her.
The Wolf
January 12, 2016 1:47 am at 1:47 am #1132952technical21ParticipantThere are many boys who don’t go to E’Y for one reason or another. It does not usually affect their shidduchim.
January 12, 2016 6:38 pm at 6:38 pm #1132953HashemisreadingParticipantEspecially now, with all that’s going on there, many mothers are scared to send their sons, as it is with girls not going to seminary.
January 12, 2016 8:44 pm at 8:44 pm #1132954technical21ParticipantHashemisreading- that’s true. Lol if a boy is entering shidduchim and someone has a ???? about the fact that he didn’t go to E’Y, he could just say, “My mother was scared of the situation there” 🙂
Seriously, though, I know of plenty of people, boys and girls, who didn’t go for that reason.
January 13, 2016 10:25 pm at 10:25 pm #1132955HashemisreadingParticipanttechnical21: its seriously a valid reason! im dying to go visit and im not even doing that!
January 15, 2016 12:10 am at 12:10 am #1132956longarekelMemberif the boy stayed home and was happy about it that tells me he has a wonderful family. definitely a plus for shidduchim.
January 17, 2016 8:19 am at 8:19 am #1132957technical21ParticipantWell, let’s put it this way: B’H I am engaged to a boy who never went to E’Y. It did not affect his shidduchim:)
January 18, 2016 4:05 am at 4:05 am #1132958TRUEBTParticipantTo Technical21:
B’SHA’A TOVA U’MUTZLACHAS!
TIZKI LIVNOS BAYIS NE’EMAN B’YISROEL!
January 18, 2016 1:02 pm at 1:02 pm #1132959stopthehateMembereveryone should do whats best for them as a person.
January 18, 2016 5:08 pm at 5:08 pm #1132960technical21ParticipantTRUEBT- thank you so much! Amein!
January 21, 2016 12:48 am at 12:48 am #1132961funnyboneParticipantIt says something about the boy’s personality. If his friends have all gone and he doesn’t go, the question is why. Does he lack independence? Self confidence? Or his he very conscientious about pleasing his mom?
January 21, 2016 1:36 am at 1:36 am #1132962The QueenParticipantOr maybe he simply has a mind of his own and isn’t so hung up about doing what “everyone” does.
January 21, 2016 3:36 pm at 3:36 pm #1132963technical21Participantfunnybone- there are many, many reasons which could cause a boy not to go to E’Y. In my chosson’s case, I am aware of the reasons, and there is nothing negative involved.
Not including my chosson’s reasons, though, use your seichel- there is one very prominent reason that a boy might not go to learn in E’Y.
January 21, 2016 5:42 pm at 5:42 pm #1132964writersoulParticipantGuys often have very little supervision in EY, much less than girls do. (Much much less.) The year in EY can often be a huge waste, if not handled well, while staying in the US can mean staying in a more structured place, being more focused, and getting life moving more quickly.
January 21, 2016 6:48 pm at 6:48 pm #1132965kfbParticipantWhy would a boy go away for yeshiva?
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