- This topic has 14 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 6 months ago by .
-
Posts
-
Where is the best place to buy a new Shabbos hat? Looking for something really nice.
Brim or no brim? From America or E”Y?
Bencraft in Boro Park
Well, it took a couple of years, but I guess now your father’s okay with it.
Hats Plus on Coney Island ave off of J
Bencraft in Boro Park. Buy the lower tier Borsalino. Costs something like 180 or maybe a bit more, these days. Lasts forever.
While you’re there, buy some pizza also. Maybe mach heimish in the pizza shop?
thought you were more of a coney island ave pizza guy
bochur1818: Save your money. I have inside information that the gedolim are going to switch to those Kongol caps – frontwards – before Rosh Chodesh Elul.
Nfgo, and this is going to solve the shidduch crisis?
At last.
bochur- can u share with us what changed over the past two years that now you are wearing a black hat, in comperiason to your post two years ago, when you could barley talk to your parents.. im going through something similar, i am a girl though, (i read your story in your post from two years ago) and could use your advice.chizuk.
OurTorah – I don’t know what your personal matzav is, but time has a tendency to smooth out many rough edges in relationships. Without knowing much about your situation, it is of course, hard to assess it so I sincerely apologize in advance for sticking my nose where it does not belong. Please give both yourself AND your parents a chance, and try to view things from their perspective, as well as your own. It’s not easy to do that, but you might be surprised at what you come to realize.
There is an old moshol about a young man who said when he was 20, his father was the stupidest man he ever knew, but when he was 40, he was shocked at how much smarter his dad had gotten in 20 years.
Many of us are like that and we butt heads with our parents, because we don’t “get” that maybe, just maybe they might know a thing or two more than we do. It’s only with time, that we come to realize that not everything we thought at one time, was actually correct. And when we are respectful in expressing ourselves to them, they listen a little more closely to what WE are saying, too.
Perspectives change with experience and maturity. It takes some of us longer than others, and a lot of time is lost and wasted on unecessary agita.
Oomis, +1.
By the way, I think the old moshol you’re talking about is this quote that has been attributed to Mark Twain:
“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
Oomis! Thank you for taking the time to share your wise advice! My story in short goes like this. I became more frum in seminary because my eyes had been opened to a whole new side of life id just never been exposed to. I tested the waters and have found a comfertable niche. BAruch Hashem I continue to grow, and learn from every Jew. My parents ovbiously love me but it is extremly hard for them to understand “whwre rhey went wrong”. When parents r relgious and raise you relgiously and then you change from that religious course they set you on its very hard for then to understand why. Thank God like you said time has done wonders but still its been veey challenging trying to get hem to understand the type of boy I want to marry and the lifestyle I want to lead.
I so look at it as such a bracha though. Often when we change because we are inspired it is hard to keep it. But thank God since I have stuck with my beleifs and happily so throughout this tough time I have been lucky enough to now have deep strong roots and bezras Hashem pass on the ahavas yisroel and ahavas and yiras Hashem I have been building and continue to build. I know my parents are older and wiser. But I know that I need to do what is right between Hashem and I and how I can become closer to Hashem. Yes you can say wait and give that time. But every minute that im not being myself im missing out on growth, ability to do mitzvos and chessed and tikkun olam. I wont just drop halacha just because my parents arent happy with who I am. I am respectful and happy and show them that I am still me in my essence just with personal bein adam lemakom changes.
thanks bochur. would you say your parents are more accepting of you? Baruch Hashem my changes have given me a greater love and appreciaition for every Jew! thank you for the chizuk!
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.