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I’m going to make one of the kinds of threads I hate. But I’m doing it anyway. Feel free to make fun.
This thread is for telling us the songs you made out of random gemaras you were learning because the words were similar to real songs.
The best one was made by a friend of mine who used to post here, but it is NSFYW (Not Safe For Yeshiva World). But we can be meramez it. So you recall the Shaar Hashamayim song by kinderlach? Now think daf 9 in kesubos.
The best one of my own, is ???? ????? ?????.
My favorite is a song that goes “Mi-she mi-she mi-she nichnas Adar” to the tune of an obscure bluegrass melody, “Pick a Bale of Cotton” from the 1950s.
Along that theme, we’ll see if this makes it past the censors.
There was once this couple who owned a grocery store. The wife was a powerful personality, and the husband was very dominated. If he disappointed her in any way, she’d pull out a paddle and give him a whack.
One day, she left him in charge of the grocery store. Came time to daven mincha, and he was late. He ran out of the store without locking the door, figured it was safe. How long does mincha take anyway?
He came back 12 minutes later, and found the place cleaned out. He went home and told his wife the bad news. She blew a gasket, and really gave it to him with the paddle.
At that beating, he decided he’d had enough, and demanded a divorce. So they went to the rav. After hearing the 2 sides of the dispute, the rav said, “This is the first time a couple came to me where SHE said ‘Pesach Pasuach Matzasi’ and HE tayna’d ‘Mukas Eitz!'”
I don’t know how many of these are safe for Yeshiva World. I mean no offense if some or all of these have to get deleted. Most of mine are from tanach because I don’t get these ideas when I’m learning gemara, no idea why.
?????? ?? ??? ??????? ?? ??????
Vidui maaser set to the tune of that really annoying Ma tovu (Bi-bi-bi bi’arti hakodesh min habayis …)
MBD’s old timcheh es zecher amalek with the whole passuk ??? ??? ????
V’haya machenecha kadosh with the rest of the passuk (not mine)
Asher yakeh es ein avdo (Carlebach’s asher bara)
????? ??????? ??? ??????? ???? ??? ?? ?? ?????? ?? ?? ????? ???????…
You can always sing Asher Yatzar es ha’adam, but that’s not a Gemara…
We used to sing
Tzuvach Tzuvach,
Tzuvach Tzuvach,
Tzuvach V’hadar Shusak…
For Yevamos we have:
Vchol asher – asher ya’aseh, mikol hatoeivos ha’eileh…
And then there’s the famous redneck family tree poem that goes well with Yevamos.
Then there’s Asher Bara:
Asher bara yetzer hara…
gaava, taiva, kinna, v’sinah, shfichas damim, v’gilui arayos.
When I was in yeshiva, there was a guy who used to walk around singing the tune from Am Yisrael Chai with the words “I’m geshmak and fest”:
I’m geshmak, I’m geshmak, I’m geshmak and fest!
I’m geshmak, I’m geshmak, I’m geshmak and fest!
I’m geshmak and fest!
I’m geshmak and fest!
I’m geshmak, I’m geshmak, I’m geshmak and fest!
Are you kidding? Who needs other people’s adaptations of existing songs? There are already Jewish songs that just take totally random phrases and put them to a tune.
For instance, as mentioned above, “Timche” by MBD. I’ve never understood why that’s a song. Especially with a tune like that.
And “Im Lavan Garti.” I think it’s Shwekey. But that’s okay, really, compared to some of the other ones.
Then there’s my favorite. In ninth grade, we were learning about the Zugot in Historia, and we got to Hillel and Shammai. We’re learning some anecdotes about Hillel and we get to his establishing the pruzbul. One girl raises her hand and says, “Oh, that’s a song, right?” My teacher looked like she was going to ROTFL.
But honestly. That is some song. A song about an edict about lending money before shmittah? Really?
The Man from Shushan
TTTO: Man From Vilna Journeys 4
I met a man last purim, who was on his way back home,
From the purim seudah, and was travelling alone,
He said he was from Shushan, a liar I could tell,
And I helped him with his bottle, he could not hold it very well
I handed him a bucket, and he filled it very fast,
He was talking incoherently, I could tell that he was trashed,
Then he shared with me a story that has changed my view of booze
From evening until morning, filling up the room with wine,
Though we had no sechel , to help us keep our heads,
In their place we had the cans, and the bottles and the kegs
I remember Simchas Torah, wine and beer were intertwined
What to drink and where to dance, and how to leave my brain behind
And then the scene before my eyes shook us to the core,
Someone foolishly had spilled out, a bottle on the floor
We ran as one towards the mess, our minds no time to think,
We bent down and lapped it up, in defiance we would drink,
And as I sat there crying, I vowed right there and then
Not to let a drop of alcohol, go to waste again
From evening until morning, filling up the room with wine,
Though we had no marijuana, to puff and get us high,
Instead we had the whiskey, and the bourbon and the rye
It took many drinks to get there, Absolut and J&B
Then I saw four children crying, and suddenly I knew
This morning when I woke up, I was hit by a brick wall
I had drunk so many ounces, close to four hundred in all,
But slowly there was healing, blank thoughts now mixed with light
From evening until morning, filling up the room with wine,
Though we had no Sifrei Torah to clutch close in our arms,
In their place we held those bottles, the Purim Seudah would go on
🙂 I probably have written dozens. Few are fit for YWN.
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