Behave Yourself

What were you doing immediately preceding being given this advice?

Hope you don’t mind if I hijack a humorous thread with a serious comment. I heard this from Dr. Rona Novick, and it’s so true:

“If I child doesn’t read, we teach him to read.

If a child doesn’t do math, we teach him to do math.

If a child doesn’t tie his shoes, we teach him to tie his shoes.

If a child doesn’t behave — we punish him!”

If we truly want our kids to behave, we have to approach it like anything else they have trouble with and TEACH them how to behave, by giving clear instructions, opportunities for practice, and good examples.

Sorry for the rant!

As a mother was heard yelling at her child:

I have two words for you – Be Have!

I think when a parent is frustrated, they are more likely to say (or yell) things without a full, or any, explanation. When they have more time and things are calmer, is when you should ask what behaviour you exhibited that annoyed them and what are the expected behaviours from you. It isn’t easy being a parent, particularly in the times we now live in. We want to raise children who are healthy, good citizens and good students who will go on to good careers and become good parents, themselves. Years ago this was much easier to accomplish – the typical mother was at home baking cookies when the children arrived home from school. There was a lot of time available for “family” time. Life was not so frenetic. In many areas of the country, people didn’t even lock their doors when they went out. Life was just simpler – nobody had credit cards. You saved until you had enough money to purchase what you needed – you were considered affluent if you had a television – ONE television – that was chosen for its appearance as a piece of furniture. Now, we live in homes with alarm systems and both parents working as a necessity, often having huge mortgages and large amounts of credit card debt. Yet, we still have the same dreams and aspirations for our children and because so many of today’s parents are being pulled in so many directions, occasionally we “lose” it. I hope that some of what I have said makes sense to you. When my daughter was young, I was often guilty of yelling at her when I really shouldn’t have. I remember I had a very tiny decorative table – poorly placed – with a chachkie that I really liked on it. One day, while she was running in the house she collided with the table and my chachkie fell and shattered. I was angry and I gave her potch. Within a few minutes it dawned on my that it was my fault for having the table where it was. That was the end of that table – but I am quite sure the memory of her undeserved potch (I deserved the potch) stayed with her for some time. Parents are people and people are imperfect.