Becoming A Rebbetzin

There are plenty of shuls where the rabbi is a bachelor. A good friend of mine was a single rabbi in Long Beach for a few years, the rabbi of the Stanton Street Shul (another friend) is single, as is the rabbi of the West Side Jewish Center (yet another friend). Many rabbanim won’t give semicha to bachelors, since the single life is not looked upon favorably by our sources, and the Gemara speaks of instances where bet din can compel a man to marry.

I don’t see how a rebbetzin is crucial to a shul; he’s not leining, she’s not leading tefillah, and in most cases, she’s not giving shiurim. A rebbetzin could be a vital asset to the female members of a shul, and can serve as a conduit to convey she’eilot about niddah issues, but I don’t see how the rabbi’s wife plays any key role. The rebbetzins I know generally support their husbands, redt shidduchim, help make kiddushim in the shul, sheva brachos for mispallelim, other simchas, etc. But most rebbetzins are not Esther Jungreis or Tzipporah Heller.

I was once dating someone (the YWN velt knows well about that horrific episode in my life, G-d should help us all) whose family friend said something that I found ignominious at the time, but that I now see as seicheldik. She said that an unmarried rav cannot properly offer guidance on these matters. I relayed to her that my personal rav and friend was a bachelor at the time, and she replied that someone unmarried, le ma’aseh, is limited in the eitzos they can offer. B”H, that friend is engaged, and we’ll be celebrating at his chasuna in Baltimore in October.

The advantage of programs like the many teacher’s seminaries, GPATS, Yeshivat Maharat, etc. is that they offer women the opportunity to learn and teach Torah on the highest of levels as women and as autonomous teachers and professionals, not as someone whose identity is not her own, but merely defined relative to her husband’s status.

Re: oomis post beginning “A rebbetzin is the First ….”

“Rebbetzin” is an honorific, not a title. As you correctly stated in your first comment, it means, simply, the wife of a rabbi. But you went wrong when you suggested that not all rebbetzins are worthy of the “title.” You misunderstand the term, and you also underestimate the burden of being married to a rabbi. Rabbis are on call 24/7, must keep peace among synagogue members (if they are shul rabbis), must devote themselves to their students if they are principally employed as teachers, and must otherwise devote themselves to the Jewish community. And the rebbetzins I have known have all been “worthy of the title”, whatever that standard is.