After all the insanity you caused over here, and well as the many arguments, please do us a favor in return and
?- can we at least know what’s going on? we have no clue who u are so you shudnt have to worry about anyone finding out
?- I don’t know if you already did this but there were countless responses to your overwhelming urge for you to speak to a mekubal and it seems as if you either didn’t read any of them, or you chose to ignore them. for your sake please at least speak to a reliable rabbi and ask him his advice, on your terrible situation and whether or not you shud go running to a mekubal. ????? ?????.