Average amount of dates per year for girls and learning boys?

That depends greatly on a few factors. For a girl, the prettier, skinnier and richer she is the more dates she will have. I know people who go on 2 dates a year, (meaning 2 boys, could be more than 1 date each…) and some people who go out with 20 boys a year. It all depends…

Average learning boy I would say goes on about 25-30 dates a year- one every 2 weeks or so… but that’s just an estimate…

Oh my gosh,is this for real? I have two sons planning on entering the’parsha” pesach time. 1 every two weeks? I’m guessing it will take me about 2 weeks to investigate (bad word choice but realistic)each girl so if it is 1 every 2 weeks how do you get anything else done? Is it okay to ask to talk to the girls friends rather than teachers I think they;ll give a clearer personality picture but don’t know if this is acceptable.

From a guy in the Parsha; Guys do go out on more dates. From my experience, and this should be a chizuk to all girls, it doesn’t matter. I do go out often, but I don’t see it as a good or bad thing.

I recently went out with a girl, it was her first date in a year and a half. I felt bad when it didn’t work out for us, because who knows when her next date will be. She got engaged last week. Mazel Tov! So I ask you; who is better off? Me that went on a lot of dates over last year and a half, or her that is now engaged??

This past scenario occurred to me a few times since I’m in the Parsha.

Basically, Hashem has his reasons why everyone should go out the precise amount of times they do. Number of dates mean zero.

Just keep davening, and make each day count, don’t count the days.

In any case, the time it takes each side to do the research, set up the date, go out, wait in between, break before next is drawn out. Most guys do not go out every other week. I know tons of guys in the Parsha. We aren’t serial daters. B”h we have lives. . .

Presumably, if a teacher’s on the reference list there might still be a kesher, or a personal kesher to the family. Ask the teacher if her information is old or current. Ask the teacher for names of friends.

And find some IRL people – older friends who’ve been through this, a friendly rebbetzin – for concrete hadracha on how to do background checks.

And when you need a good laugh, track down the CSI:Shidduchim video.

And also forgot about the last point. Always speak to a few friends. The married ones are generally more honest, but either way, after speaking to a few people u’ll get a dood general picture.

You have to get used to reading between lines and realize which points people are not talking about. It’s also a big skill how to ask the questions and which to ask. (Maybe i’ll start a thread next week, good questions to ask). Enjoy, and yes enjoy the quiet time, because with 2 boys in the market. . .

Rocky-

I think there is usually less checking on the girls side because the reality is that girls have to be less picky. A boy has a long list of amazing girls that are all more than willing to go out with him at any time. They have the luxury of being picky, and looking for the best of everything, because chances are they can get whatever they want.

I like to joke sometimes that if the boy is alive and breathing, that’s about all I have to know in order to date him.

Of course, like you said, the only solution is davening. Whenever I get stressed out from this whole process I remind myself that whenever Hashem wants me to meet my bashert, nothing is going to hold it back from happening. It really helps to put things into perspective!

new2thescene:

I think that your perspective is rare for a guy currently in the dating scene. From what I have seen and heard, guys in the parsha feel that everything is coming to them. It is refreshing to hear that you feel for the other side as well.

Thank you for your genuine tefillos! In this situation, all tefillos are welcome!