ATTN: Singles :(

Home Forums Decaffeinated Coffee ATTN: Singles :(

Viewing 35 posts - 1 through 35 (of 35 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #598639
    HAPPY2BALIVE
    Member

    I really try my best

    To be happy and upbeat!

    But sometimes I lose it with defeat!

    My thoughts go far?

    When will I be the shining star?

    Am I rubbish? That I keep getting rejection after rejection?

    Or does hashem want my connection?

    And one day ill see the story so bright!

    Thanks!

    #801261
    stickynote
    Member

    Attention Singles:Today is a day for davening for shidduchim-Tu’Bav. Pray extra hard and may all your Tefillos be answered!

    #801262
    be good
    Participant

    Hey

    Love the poem 😉

    I’m feeling the same way today- there isn’t much I can say, except commiserate and hope things pick up for you and all of us out there in the same boat.

    Feel good!

    #801263
    bombmaniac
    Participant

    a regular robert frost…

    #801264
    a mamin
    Participant

    Happy: I am not single but i have to compliment you on your poem! I know HASHEM knows EXACTLY what is good for you snd it’s coming sooner than you think!!! Yashias Hashem Keheref Ayin!

    #801265
    kol daveed
    Member

    My friend, there’s something we need to realize. Each and every day our bashert is davening to Hashem with tears in her eyes, “Ribono Shel Olam. Please, I beg you, send me my zivug. May we meet soon. May we cleave to You and one another. May we grow in Torah and in love. May we build a Torah home together and live our lives b’taharah u’b’kedusha. May be bring into this world many, many children – healthy, happy, pure, beautiful children. Children who love you and fear You. Children who honor and revere their parents. And may we raise them in the derech of Torah and Mitzvos.”

    Then, your bashert finishes her tefillah, sad, yet hopeful, and wipes the tears from her eyes. Those tefillos then reach HaKadosh Baruch Hu. HaKadosh Baruch Hu then cries, shedding streams of tears for His children who want nothing more than to build a Torah home together and bring His Will into this world. At that point, He then looks at you and says, “As much pain as this rejection is for ________, My pure, sweet, beautiful child, I know that if he could see how hard his bashert was davening for him, he would glady accept every rejection b’leiv shalaim, knowing that it’s bringing him closer to his zivug.

    I hope this offers you some degree of solace and nechama. May we all be zoche to meet and marry our basherts b’karov.

    #801266

    For what its worth, I’m on the other side of the fence and I’m also faced with the same thoughts. That shows that sending you a zivug is not a proof that Hashem wants or doesn’t “your connection”.

    #801267
    HAPPY2BALIVE
    Member

    ah……… i feel much better thanks to all of you!

    #801268
    kol daveed
    Member

    Each day should only get better. For you and for all of us.

    #801269
    adorable
    Participant

    its not an easy process but nothing good and worthwhile comes easy…. it should be painless.

    #801270

    i also get rejected all the time! i just got rejected after 9 dates!!! life is good people!!

    #801271
    ootinny
    Member

    my advice to being single is daven daven daven!! i used to think it meant ur desperate but now i see it really works. friends of mine that have been davening alot just got engaged. I am still single so I gotta just daven more!

    #801272
    TheGoq
    Participant

    So those who remain single just have a lack of emunah right? that’s insulting! , of course davening helps but sometimes when u ask a question the answer is no!

    #801273
    adorable
    Participant

    GOQ- the point is that you shouldnt think it just comes on its own. you have to daven for it.

    #801274
    TheGoq
    Participant

    I agree u have to daven for it Adorable but to insinuate that people who remain single remain so because of a lack of emunah is an insult.

    #801275
    ootinny
    Member

    well sometimes it is Goq. There are lots of reasons

    #801276
    kol daveed
    Member

    All –

    HaKadosh Baruch Hu runs the world. We need to daven, perform acts of chesed, and improve ourselves, but ultimately, Hashem is going to introduce us to our zivug when it is right for each of us. We all need to stay positive and keeping working on ourselves. May we all be zoche to meet our zivug in the right time!

    #801277
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Well said Kol but married people need to work on themselves just as much as single people.

    #801278
    kol daveed
    Member

    Goq –

    Of course! Lets try a different reading – Hachi K’amar: HaKadosh Baruch Hu runs the world. Everyone needs to daven, perform acts of chesed, and improve ourselves. For singles, Hashem is going to introduce us to our zivug when it is right for each of us. We all need to stay positive and keeping working on ourselves.

    #801279
    ootinny
    Member

    very true goq- and their chesed should be setting their single friends up (which many don’t)

    #801280
    adorable
    Participant

    GOQ- i dont think that is what was meant in that post. just be upbeat and dont have that outlook and then all of a sudden u wont even think that way anymore. being single is not a sickness or something like that. I feel like you think it is. i dont mean to insult you. I understand that it can get tough sometimes (im single dont forget) but you are so busy making support groups and all that stuff…..

    wrote this in a rush- gotta go bring the mods more chocolate. ttyl

    #801281
    TheGoq
    Participant

    I’m completely not insulted Adorable, but some married people act like they are perfect simply because they are married, and i find it offensive when someone suggests that singles are still single because their faith isn’t strong enough, i take it that way because thats what the poster was saying read between the lines adorable.

    #801282
    adorable
    Participant

    I am single too btu dont have that outlook on the whole single thing- I dont think of myself as inferior and i dont view myself as a nebach that im still single so even though i read the same posts as you, I read them differently.

    #801283
    ootinny
    Member

    its true goq. i feel like e/o is in this rat race to get married and once you win, you are in the ‘cool club’ (i saw s/o post to s/o who had gotten engaged ‘welcome to the club’) and no longer need to go to weddings and things, and if u do go, u need to bring ur spousy along and stay w him/her the whole time and leave really early. it’s like a zechus if they show their face somewhere. i’m not married but when i am i will not put my friends on hold , i will set them up with their basherts, and i will still be the last one to leave a wedding. and not say the words ‘my choson’ barffff

    #801284
    TheGoq
    Participant

    I dont think i am inferior but the fact that others may judge me to be so because i am a middle aged single MAN is very real, i cant bury my head in the sand and say its raining popsicles when i know that much of the world blames me for my singlehood.

    #801285
    ootinny
    Member

    we don’t blame you goq if that helps

    #801286
    TheGoq
    Participant

    ty oot it does.

    #801287
    collegegrad
    Member

    ootinny I agree with you completely married friends have to think of their single friends. Their husbands know the boy. Friends tell me all the time I’m thinking of you I’m trying bla bla bla but if you never asked me for my resume you couldn’t have tried to hard.

    #801288
    adorable
    Participant

    they dont need your resume they know you. and they knwo who you are friends with if they need more info. i dont need my friends resume to think of someone for them.

    GOQ- did I come across too strong? Sorry about that. i promise I am not judging you for even one second

    #801289
    ootinny
    Member

    i wish it was raining creamsicle popsicles!

    #801290
    TheGoq
    Participant

    not at all adorable we each have our own burden in life no one should judge another.

    #801291
    adorable
    Participant

    that is true. and we know nothing about each other- in life in general (even when you think you know everything you really know nothing) and especially here in the coffee room.

    #801292
    ootinny
    Member

    I think to help solve the shidduch crisis, girls should not date until they are 20. That way the 19 yr olds won’t be taking the boys that e/o else can. Personally I and many of my friends started at 21 and we were fine, but girls tend to want to get married very fast- but it sometimes backfires and they get very burnt out early on bec they started too early

    #801293
    adorable
    Participant

    that is a little off topic but ok. I think girls that are right out of school who get married are doing the wrong thing in general. they need time to settle and get acclimated to the real world

    #801294
    collegegrad
    Member

    adorable I say just the opposite. Assuming the girl is a mature girl start right away. The younger you are the easier it is to start anew you are not so settled in your ways yet. I say to help the “age gap” issue have the boys start younger.

Viewing 35 posts - 1 through 35 (of 35 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.