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SM, amen! thanks! Hope the “whatever” that happened over Y”T fixes itself. (Are those cookies to share btw?!)
Good luck with finals (make that everything), y’all!
Sorry I haven’t been posting much lately, I’ve been a bit busy. Thanks, NOMTW and SaysMe. Hope finals are going well for everyone!
blabla, Luna, ICOT, I miss your poetry.
Hope everyone’s alright.
thx kapusta. yeah, it was a temporary major letdown, and i was angry at someone but more at Hashem, if i can say that without being labeled apikores. i was hurting an awful lot, but i’m ok now
Hi everyone,
Says me- thanks for asking, yes I had a wonderful yom tov really uplifting .
Middle path – just listened to your poem song on sound cloud and it really great you’ve got music in your blood, and I hope to get some of my songs up on the cloud soon.
SM-
This isn’t really the place for a deep discussion but I think it’s ok to have questions as long as they’re answered from the right source and I put being angry in that category. Glad to hear you’re better though. 🙂
Good Shabbos, everyone
Who ever said life was a piece of cake
Was clearly making a mistake
It is not a piece of apple pie,
A cookie, croissant or anything nigh
It is full of hardship, and full of pain
Full of people who care only of personal gain
Stand apart and follow your heart
Through all the conflict and all the strife
Try to live a happy and honest life
that was beautiful Luna, and your message should shine through to all. Keep spreading your powerful poetry and you can begin to change the world!
Have a good shabbos and start that chain of sweetness today!
Think first, thanks so much! Looking forward to your music!
SaysMe, thanks for keeping this thread so active :).
Luna, lovely poem! And such a true message that we all need to hear every so often. Thanks for posting!
kapusta, NOMTW, how are you both?
Hope everyone has a nice shabbos.
I AM SO STRESSED OUT!! I’ve been studying non stop and preparing for my thesis defense (that is tomorrow along with my neuropsych final) I am literally counting down the seconds until Wednesday night (Dunsky!) – COFFEE ROOM CELEBRATION, ANYONE??
Anxiety
You come so fast
You stay so long
I try to run
You have long legs
Stress
Pools of liquid
I imagine you to be clear
Trailing down my veins
Pulsing through every organ
Tension
The house reeks of it
My back screams of it
My eyes illuminated with it
But they will leave
They will run
They will be trampled
Anxiety, Stress, & Tension
My diploma offers you your fate
Halfway there! Keep going! G’luck!! hope ur thesis and other final went well!
NOMTW, wishing you success in everything! You’re almost there! Like SaysMe said, I hope your thesis and neuropsych final went well! We’re all rooting for you.
SaysMe-
MiddlePath-
Thank you both.
=================================
Good luck to all those who are taking finals, Regents, and all other kinds of “fun” stuff.
Is it wednesday night? How was NOMTW??
I’M DONE!! Thank you everyone for your endless support…
Although it’s just the first of the 3 degrees I hope to get, it still feels like a huge accomplishment and i’m so proud of myself. Talk about a confidence booster….
Now that the stress is off & I can function properly…how’s everyone doing?
NOMTW, congrats! Great news! It is a huge accomplishment, and wishing you continued success in your future schooling. Enjoy your break! Oh, and I’m doing alright, thanks for asking. Been pretty busy the past couple days.
Hope everyone’s doing well.
How is everyone doing? It’s pretty quiet here. kapusta, SaysMe, Think first, Luna, blabla, ICOT, NOMTW, hope you’re all doing alright.
congrats NOMTW!
thanks for the shout out, MiddlePath. I was gonna post but busy busy friday and then my amazing mood turned upside down motzei shabbos with worrisome news. i’m in a quandary, unsure how to react or what to say to the bearer of news…. it can be bad if i speak up and be bad if i dont. pressure’s building so i’m just avoiding it temporarily. but yeahhhhh.
So how is everyone! NOMTW- enjoying ur vacation?? how about the rest of our posters?
Thanks MiddlePath and SaysMe (‘specially for remembering Wednesday night!) ! So far I’ve had some good sushi and watched some stupid TV. I really just want to take it easy this summer because I know graduate school will be tough. I do have a full time job, but after hours I plan to be more diligent in going to the gym and just plain relaxing, really just taking the ‘edge’ off (I’m kind’ve intense..)
SaysMe: I’m unsure of the situation, but perhaps you can just get away with saying “I don’t know what to say, I feel badly about the situation- if you need me I’m here, but only to the point that I don’t start to feel emotionally unhealthy because of the situation…”
(am I totally off base here….?)
NOMTW- yup u are :). But thanks nonetheless. Just not sure how much i wanna say yet, so starting small.
And I’m all for taking summer easy!
omg I’ve been insanely busy…
I peer up at the sky,
look at the blue crisp view,
the beaming sun’s rays upon me,
the fluffy white clouds framing a picture perfect seen,
yet something doesn’t settle,
no matter how gorgeous it is,
I’m alone on an island,
in the vast Atlantic Ocean,
a beautiful relaxing island,
magnificent views,
lush green grass,
yet I’m alone.
No matter what, I’m alone on the island.
blabla – you are never alone. Hashem is always by your side. You also have all of your friends from the CR and the Poetry Thread:)
SaysMe, so sorry about the quandary you are in. Whatever you decide to you should yield positive results! How are things now? Hope everything smooths out.
NOMTW, enjoy the vacation! Hope your summer schedule helps you relax and get ready for grad school.
blabla, thanks for your beautiful poetry once again. Luna is right, you are never alone. Sometimes it may seem that way, but that’s a false reality. We’re all here for you.
Luna, glad to see you back. Hope you’re doing well!
I watch the sun as it dips into the sea
So many emotions swirling inside of me
I feel at peace. I feel happy.
The beauty of the ocean and the colorful hues of the sky
Make feel as if I am flying high
No worries, no pains
Not a care in the world
Nothing can bring me down
For a moment all my fears are cured
The ocean fills me with peace
All my worries cease
For a short while
I feel tranquil
Luna, that’s so great! 🙂 I’m thrilled you’re feeling that way! May it continue!
soso truly glad for you who are having a great week and/or vacation! Blabla- enjoy and drink in the beautiful ‘nature’ and gorgeous surroundings. Keep that smile strong and you’ll see all your friends, new and old, come out from behind the palm trees to join you on that beach. For the really lonely moments, avraham fried has a powerful song, ”You’re Never Alone”. For all those having sunny weeks, please enjoy for me, cuz i can’t seem to find the sunshine in my week so far. Such a tough one and its barely started :(. Big, unhappy for me, change happening that i dont know how to verbally respond to, and was warned of a very unpleasant breach of trust that may happen tomorrow. No matter the intention, it hurts so deeply to have someone go behind your back when they know you dont let. I’ve got such a pit in my stomach since hearing, i just want to cry. But i am trying with all my might to heed the warning without believing it is neccesarily true- NOT easy….
Hope your loneliness quickly disappears blabla! Luna, NOMTW- that ur sunshine continues! MP- how are you? Kapusta- how are you doing????? (ps i still wish i coulda got ur email). iCOT, Think first-hi!
NOMTW- congrats!!!
MP- thanks for asking. Not the best right now but not the worst either…
Luna- that was great! Hope it lasts. 🙂
SM-
Sorry to hear that things aren’t so much fun now… I hope everything settles down and gets better really soon. Sending a bunch of hugs your way. As for me, ummmmm… The optimist in me is saying better than it could be. That AF song btw is one of my faves. Sometimes it really hits the spot like nothing else can. (About the email, if you have any ideas…)
SaysMe, I’m alright, thank G-d. Thanks for asking!
kapusta, sorry things aren’t the best for you right now, but I’m glad you can also say that they’re not the worst either. Hope good things are in store for you! We’re all thinking of you.
Stop, Thief!
He uses force, he uses stealth
This sneaky one, he wants your wealth
If you let him, he will alight
Into your life, bringing blight
What he likes to do for fun
Is sabotage you, steal your Sun
Leave you unhappy in its dearth
Clear thinking he wants to banish
Your good moods he will make vanish
Too smart, too dumb, too this, too that
Your friends just like you for your money
Your folks all hate you, as does G-d*
The thief who puts this in our head
Takes no breaks, never goes to bed
The yetzer hora is his name
His success rate is our shame
Someone important as can be
Valuable as any of us
Crafted by the one above us
Fight this sneak thief, this pretender
Get back up, never surrender
*c”v
ICOT very nice poem with a great message. 🙂
ICOT- you have talent. amazing mashal and imagery. now to work on bringing it home…… thanks for sharing!
Luna Lovegood-
kapusta-
SaysMe-
Thank you all for the kind words.
While real problems (obviously) do exist, the last thing people should do is cause themselves unhappiness by being self-critical and magnifying every flaw that they imagine exists.
As Rav Scheinberg zatzal said, “Keep smiling and keep going.”
sounds so simple, and yet not as easy as it sounds, if you’ve been doing it for a while.
ICOT, WOW!! Amazing poem, it is so true. Thank you!
TTTO: Ancient Wall
I have an icy heart of stone
Deep inside my wall
And if you look behinf the mask
You just may see inside
Where has my normal heart gone
How long am I to wait for all
My emotions to come to me
A soul of crystal and of gems
Once stood inside my heart
From far and near all can see
Its beauty and its shine
But only He can melt the ice
And remove the stress
Chorus
Together, Together
We can work through this, together as one
Forever, Forever
This won’t take forever, I can promise this one
You caused the pain, you caused the stress
So I can’t come to you in prayer
I ask (again) when will you realize this
How much more can I bear
So chillul Shabbos will live on
It lingers in thy soul
How can I come back home to you
Whilst you rip me apart
Chorus
ICOT, really great poem.
Too cool, welcome. Beautifully written poem, and I’m sorry for the pain you are going through. Please stay strong.
I unfortunately am going through a really difficult time right now, and it may be costing me months of hard work and lots of money, and would set me back a great deal. But it is particularly at a time like this that I do my best to see the big picture, and count my blessings. So I would just like to thank G-d for all He has given me, and I know that whatever happens is for the best. But even so, we must do what we can, so I’d very much appreciate if you can all pray for me that I should get through this situation successfully, without too much pain. Thanks so much.
Mp thanks for asking I’m doing great b”h I’ve started in this new business recently and I’m seeing succes BH, how are you ?I actually put two songs up on soundcloud check them out tell me what you think . Says me how are you , wow your still here going strong, keeping this place alive, icon- I like the thief poem great message and nice poetry .
Every else here I’ll leave you with this, no one care how much you know untill they know how much you care.
Luna Lovegood-
No One Mourns The Wicked-
blabla-
Too Cool-
Those are very well written.
The optimistic tone of “Luna Lovegood” is appreciated, “No One Mourns The Wicked”s follow up to the stressed tone is good to see, “blabla” hase nice imagery, although a bit less loneliness would probably be better, and “Too Cool”, well, it’s very eloquent, but sad – hope things improve.
Sorry for not commenting until now.
SaysMe-
Agreed, 100%.
MiddlePath-
Think first-
Thank you two, too.
(your posts hadn’t gone up when I posted my previous “thanks”.)
Too Cool- 🙁 I know that cant be true but i dont have the answers you need. I only hope that you do have lots of loving family and friends.
MP- that is NOT fun. Will keep you in mind. Your attitude is praiseworthy and more tho! Hatzlacha Rabba!
Think first- Thats great abt ur job! b”H!! i’m gonna sneak over to sound cloud for curiosity’s sake 😀
kapusta- thanks for asking. having a tough week. 3 incidents. 1 painful for the whole family, 1 HURTS!!! and plucked at a thread of trust no matter the good intentions, and 1 is B”H worked through but gave me 24 hrs of headache. But how are you??? Why the :(? I hope Shabbos brings you menucha! I actually had an email idea…. gonna find out.
Syag Lchochma- hi! you still read here?
we almost fell off the page! where did everyone go?
MP- how’s it going? :-/
blabla- how are you?
kapusta- 😉 how are you? hope you had a restful shabbos!
Luna, NOMTW, ICOT, think first, Too Cool, Syag Lchochma, PE, puppy… who else? HI!
I was just looking for this thread, thanks! 😀 Shabbos was good B”H, thanks for asking.
Says me – thanks for asking doing well shabbos was real nice. Did u hear my songs in soundcloud ?
kapusta, SaysMe, thanks for asking about me and wishing me success. Things are still the same as they were before, but I am doing better emotionally. I bounce back from these things relatively quickly as long as I know that people care, so thanks so much for showing care. Hope you’re both doing well.
Think first, just listened to your songs, really great! You have a really nice sounding guitar, what brand is it? Looking forward to more.
Hope everyone’s doing alright. I hope things end up working out for me. I mean, I know things will, I just hope I’m able to see it openly instead of it being hidden.
Mp- thanks its a Yamaha F310 it’s my first and only guitar I bought over ten years ago. I hope things work out for you and your upswing comes soon, you really help a lot of us here so we wish the best for you. Like I’ve told you in the past you def have been one of the threads that kept our place alive and you always have an encouraging word for a friend, keep it up we all appreciate your kindness here.
Wow, Think first, you must take good care of it! Looking forward to more music. Thanks for your kind comments, I appreciate them so much.
Hope everyone’s doing ok.
think first- sry, my net’s limited this week, but i listened now. Nice stuff! i wish i could learn to play guitar that well- sounds so good!! Like the flow of the first one esp. and glad abt shabbos 🙂
MP-B”H for your resilience and emotional strength! so happy your doing bit better and i hope things get better too. i’m doing half decent, thanks for asking :). and i too hope things work out openly good for you.
SaysMe: I definitely read here. Not much posting though because I am working on breaking the habit. I am not at work during the summer and I cancelled our home internet (even though it was filtered) so posting would mean sitting in front of my kids with a phone in my face. My husband and I have always tried VERY hard to practice what we preach. And I definitely don’t want my kids to see me with a phone in my face. Especially now that my seminary girl is back. So I am working hard on breaking the habit. And I don’t count the poetry thread as internet cuz it’s different than the other parts of the CR (I don’t do any other blogs).
Long winded, sorry. I wish I could write another poem or two but I am in protective mode. Not letting too many emotions touch the surface. I am making a Bar mitzvah without my sister. It is so painful. I actually just avoided the whole deal and the clock kept ticking and I did nothing. Pretended it would just do itself. Then he asked me if I finished the invitations and I knew it wasn’t good. A good friend asked me for the date and place I had in mind and then called the place and made the reservation. I got everything ready to be mailed and I hope they will get to everyone before the party. My wonderful son deserves better so I told him what my “road block” is and he said I shouldn’t think it’s just me who is sad to make a party without her.
I am sure it will all work out, it is just moving very slowly. My friends have been life savers and that fills me with guilt. Mostly because I don’t go to simchas, none really. It was too stressful to get out of the house with lots of little kids so I decided I would just stay home til they were all older. I didn’t really expect it to go on for 20 years but truthfully it doesn’t bother me at all.
So now all the friends who have simchas I didn’t attend, are helping me make my simcha. And I of course feel like a low life who doesn’t deserve any of it. But I am so done crying about it, now I am just trying to catch the boat before it leaves the harbor and make sure my son has the party he deserves (we do a home made desert open house so we really rely on our friends).
I hope you aren’t sorry you asked. I didn’t mean to make you all feel bad, really I am doing okay now. And I go thru phases like this. But I am grateful that I never fall into those abysses that you all write about. I wish I could make some of your pain go away. Somehow.
not sorry i asked for a millisecond.
first of all, yasher koach on cancelling your internet and on your goals of cutting back! showing your kids your rules apply equally to you and you are too trying will hopefully show them all how much you care and give them the conviction of how imp this is. esp your sem girl, who sees how you avoid usign your phone when she’s around.
i’m so sorry for what you are strugglign through :(. a simcha without a relative has got to be one of the biggest emotional rollercoasters. brought to mind a memory of my grandfather at the first wedding after my grandmother passed away, walking down to tthe chupa, crying and yet trying not to, trying to focus on the happiness… impossible and yet not a bad thing. to be b’simcha and yet think of those who arent there, and daven to be reunited soon.
oh the protective mode :(. i call it my closed mood. to freeze myself of all emotions. both a lifesaver and a horrible feeling. i cant even imagine how painful the thought of that day is for you, and i can only hope it will turn out easier than u imagine.
you sound like such an amazing mother though, who shows her kids how much she cares for them, and is so concerned for their good.your children are lucky to have you for their mother. your friends sound truly amazing and supportive. and they obviously understand and dont hold it against you at all. the fact that they are reaching out to help shows that there is a deep 2-way kesher. even if u havent attended their simchos, you have clearly been there for them in a deeper way and they sound more than glad to give something back. it may be hard to take when u feel bad abt missing theirs, but it doesnt sound like they hold it against u, but rather want to give! ok enough rambling from me, and i really hope i havent said anything hurtful or thoughtless. please forgive me if i have. i am very sad to hear the pain that you’re going through, esp tough bec of the bar mitzva. iy”H you should keep getting farther and farther away from the abysses i’ve experienced and have much much simcha! i hope the bar mitzva turns out beautifully and that you can truly enjoy it. and may it bring nachas to your sisters neshoma.
i’m sure it wasnt easy to share this all, but thank you for opening your heart to your poetry thread family. we care for you.
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