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i’m new at this, so please tell me what you think.
this one is about beginnings.
The baby cries, the mothers relieved,
a new life, in a moment began
she peeked into her classroom, with her brand new knapsack,
a new school, in a moment began
lugging her suitcase to her bunkhouse,she breathes in the fresh air,
a new summer experience, in a moment began
“And we should meet in Jerusalem next year,” she finishes off her bat-mitzva speech, amid hugs and pictures she breathes a sigh of relief
a new stage in life, in a moment began
the insecure teenager hesitantly opens the door
a different school, in a moment began
after setting up her bed and shelves, she turns to her new roommates and offers them a friendly smile,
a new dorming experience, in a moment began
clapping politely as the plane touches down, the new couple smile at each other,
a new life in a strange country, in a moment began
a baby cries, a mothers relieved,
a cycle in a moment COMPLETE.
Here’s another one:
A True Friend
When I was little
I was sure
A true friend is
She who’s snack is ample.
When I was in elementary
I was sure
A true friend is
She who’s brilliant
A student sample.
When I was a freshman
I was sure
A true friend is
She who laughs without a care.
When I was a sophomore
I was sure
A true friend is
She who’s serious, deep and rare.
When I was a junior
I was sure
A true friend is
She who shares everything.
Now I’m a senior
What a true friend is
I know nothing.
observanteen
Like it.
mytake: Thanks!
Hey, everyone keep ’em coming! I love this thread!
Um everyone i stink at writing poems but baruch hashem i have other talents….oh…i could make up a poem lets not 4get that but lk it wont come out so gr8!! lol
okay, so this poem is about saving lives. please, please tell me your thoughts and opinions… i would love to hear them
AND THE HEART KEEPS PUMPING…
car crashing
glass shattering
emergency workers running
and the heart keeps pumping…
toddler exploring
foot slipping
mother catching
and the heart keeps pumping
man chuckling
peanut blocking
passerby reacting
and the heart keeps pumping…
girl splashing
brother thrashing
lifeguard diving
and the heart keeps pumping…
unique: You’re poems are definitely unique!
cool i love them, you guys are amazingly talennted!! observanteen and unique!
I wrote this one when I came to realize that everything is from Hashem and everything He does is for the very best:
Get Well Soon
The sharp blade
Made its way
Toward my heart.
It cut
Punctured
Sliced.
My heart-
It was
Wounded
Aching
Hurting.
There was
Blood gushing.
I was
Scared
Frightened
Terrified.
Why
Oh, why
Is this
Happening?
Who
Had dared
To cut
My heart
Open?
I was
Mad
Upset
Furious.
Who
Has the heart
To wound
Mine?
I was
Confused
Bewildered
Frustrated.
The pain
Oh, the pain.
Will the bleeding
Ever stop?
Will the wounds
Ever heal?
Will the torn parts
Ever be reconnected?
I stared
At the knife
At my side.
My killer.
I examined
Carefully
That awful blade.
It was
That of
A surgeons’.
observanteen: Wow! so powerful! i really like that style in writing.
Danching girl, Bewashere, Bro Observanteen, emitrose, bygirl93 / m, Brucklyn Jewess, unique – wow, you’ve put some excellent pieces on here! Kudos!
Unique – i like the one you just put on the heart pumping.. And observanteen on the Surgeon’s knife.. Bewashere you wrote a beautiful one on having lost one’s way but G-d is still with us..
Thought you may want to hear some feedback so am giving you!
i’m very hesitation to post my writing on here – it’s way too public!! So for now i’m just lurking 🙂
Dancing girl – this one is great, it’s really good!
Just checked the other one you asked about – it’s also good!! You have a nice way of writing 🙂
Thanks everyone! I liked yours, dancinggirl.
Wow! All of ur Poems were amazing.
Dancinggirl I love love love both of your poems.
Observanteen yours was awesome too- I totally understand that.
I have more to post and I’ll try and post later 🙂
I hear it,
the silence
The empty air,
surrounding my head.
I feel it,
the tension
The rising anger,
trapped in my skin.
I see it,
the line
The long division,
planted between us.
I’m in it,
the lie
The “perfect” bubble,
that only haunts me.
Can I break the silence,
and bring in new air?
Can I break the tension,
make it dissapear?
Csn I break the line,
that I’m forced to see?
Can I break the bubble,
thats been defining me?
No.
It takes two to talk,
so I’m silent.
With no place to scream,
I’m left feeling tense.
There’s a clear division,
so I drew a line.
You have created a lie,
and I’m left in a bubble.
If you break the silence,
then I’ll break mine.
If you break the tension,
I’ll slowly relax.
If you break the line,
then I’ll know things are ok.
I’m living in a bubble,
thats waiting to be popped.
Let me know what you think…
This one has a tune in my head and obviously needs work…
Its a new day,
but it feels the same
The clock is ticking,
but the time won’t change
Its like yesterday,
thats stuck on pause
Nothing gained,
yet nothing lost
Try to jump ahead,
but life stands still
Try to rewind,
try and make this real
But remember,
don’t get stuck in time
This is your chance,
so make it right.
Its a new day,
don’t make it the same
The clock is ticking,
its time to change
You had yesterday,
so don’t press pause
Don’t live in the past,
and don’t get lost
Now you’re ahead,
so don’t stand still
It’s your life,
Its yours to reveal.
Bwashere your poems are really beautiful. I can really relate to the first one, although my “bubble” already burst;)
Aww thanks, glad u like them
I know that words are just ABC
And that paper is part of a tree
But the mean and cruel words FAMILY wrote me
Made me feel as if somebody smote me
I read it again:Was this real?
Do these people know how to feel?
Mean and accusing,Olam haba they’re losing
My tears and deep pain,Hashem,heal!
Thank you,Hashem,for the wonderful,compassionate friends (IN REAL LIFE!)
whose validating and strengthening words got me through this day.
Hashem, please help our dear friend, Eclipse
Who never has a mean word pass her lips
She goes through struggles with dignity and class
Despite her detractors who have written en masse
Trying to disparage her and cause her pain
Doing it viciously with much disdain
Please let her have peace in her life
Away from all scandal and strife
Please give her such a big bracha
With tons of nachas and lots of hatzlacha
Thank you,am yisrael chai!
I really stink at making poems
Even though ppl live in homes
When my teacher tells us to make
I feel lk im at stake
And when i try
I just give a sigh
Ehl oh Ehl!!
Huh dancinggirl?? urwelx but why??
heres one i just found-i aint gotta clue when i wrote it!!!
i used to walk alone
and see things through my eyes
alone i told my problems
and answered all my whys
i always did things solo
my help was all i got
the burden was on my shoulders
no matter how hard the lot
and i used to keep on wishing
for one dream to come true
and my dream was finally answered
it was given in the form of you!!!
This little shnuk
doesn’t have anything
useful to say
The Wolf
Glad to know and glad to see
That there’s a “market” for poetry
And even though poetry doesn’t seem to sell
This thread in CR is really swell.
CROWNS
Crowns –
Symbols of majesty.
Signs of royalty.
Marks of distinction.
Crowns –
Given to a priveleged few.
Reserved for those of noble rank.
Unique for their recepients.
Two Crowns –
Each and every Yid
Part of the Am Segula
Three types of Crowns –
Keser Torah
Keser Kehuna
Keser Malchus.
One Crown
Keser Shaim Tov
Accessible to us all
If we make ourselves worthy.
yeah…i luv them 2!!!!
i was thinking about posting my poetry here…
but its WAY too personal…sorry dancinggirl 😉
k dancinggirl i decided to be nice and post one so i looked through my writings and found one i could post…
i wrote this one after a few months of trying to keep up with one of my friends but it wasn’t working out to good-in the end we got into a huge fight and broke up
Time was playing a game with us
we we’re each on the edge of a rope
pulling and pushing back and forth
but one left, and one looked for hope
time was playing a game with us
follow the leader it said
but when one turned toward the wrong path
the other continued and led
time was playing a game with us
red light,green light, 1,2,3
but when she turned around- no one was seen
where cud the friends that were playing be?
time was playing a game with us
simple simon says
but when one did right and followed the man
the other couldn’t care less
time was playing agame with us
mother may i, please?
but when one hopped foward 7 times
the other turns and flees
time has stopped playing games with us
his games are no longer fun
the game was time against true love
and time has sadly won ;(
NIGHT
Night –
Cold and bleak?
Come take a peek –
Time to seek.
Night –
Torah learning
Lamps long burning
Yearning and earning.
Night –
Introspection
Thoughful reflection
Plan of correction.
Night –
Tikun Chatzos
For what we miss most
Longing to be close.
Night –
Full of fright
Yet goals in sight
Soon a Day so bright.
little sally, i love tht poem! its so…unique. it tells a story
Little Sally Saucer: I like your poem. BTW, welcome to the CR:)
woa!!!! my egos soaringggggg lol
thanks hudya and observanteen…!
n observant teen…-welcome to the vast world of LITTLE SALLY SAUCER loll
EGO ALERT
thanks 4 the warning…
no prob
Let me know what you think…
I focus on you,
And I don’t know what to say
I’m familiar with what I see,
the look of crying and dismay.
Although she wants to hide it,
It’s the color of my mothers eyes
Hidden under the happiness,
Which she wears as a disguise.
It’s the face of my friend,
Lost and alone
Overpowered by the drugs,
No emotion being shown.
It’s the person in the mirror,
Who once felt the same
Overuled by the tension,
Trapped inside the pain.
I see the look in your eyes,
How you just want to slip away
Forget about tomorrow,
And end it all today.
But just because thugs are hard,
And you’re scared to move along
Don’t let that one fear,
Keep you from staying strong.
woa bweshere!! POWERFUL!
Here’s one I wrote today. (I started during class but my teacher typically took it away..;))
Round Trip
The world
Big, round and wide
Had seemed to push me
Off its side.
I felt too sheltered
Of narrow mind
So cut off
Of mankind.
The world winked
With its glamorous glitz
I felt deprived
At the end of my wits.
Like a red cloth
Waved at a bull
The world urged me
To end the life so dull.
A new life
I was going to lead
For the glorious future
Plant a seed.
I would conquer
A world so vast
True happiness
I’ll reach at last.
But in my mouth
There was a bitter taste
I was disappointed
It was all a waste.
There was no meaning
There was no goal
For I failed
To tend to my soul.
I packed my belongings
And turned to leave
My long lost Emunah
I will now retrieve.
I’ll return to the roots
I’ve once betrayed
And for the first time
Really prayed.
I am now sheltered
Once again
But now I know
I’ve found a bargain.
I wrote this one this past Friday when feeling like this year (which was a tough one and a growth experience for me) is almost gone. (I also wrote it as a chizuk to remember “Gam zeh yaavor – this too, will pass”.)
The years they fly
Quickly by
As if in a race
Time to chase.
The oceans I’ve cried
Are now dried;
My mad rage
Is of old age;
Of my resentment
There isn’t a fragment;
The surging pain
Didn’t remain;
The time I was embarrassed
Has long since passed;
Of that hurtful remark
There isn’t a mark.
Those times are gone
Time to move on
Leave the memories behind
For new ones to find
Only now they won’t annoy
But bring happiness and joy! (I hope so!)
Bwashere – WOW!! You write so well, this piece says so much!
Observanteen, It’s good, really good. The “Round Trip” one i esp. like.. How far did you go to find out it’s all a waste?! And yes, time will always pass for good or bad!!!!
PE: Thanks. I’ll leave that up to your imagination;)
Sometimes, at times
Seems black as night
Bleakness ahead
And nothing seems right
Forlorn, forsaken
Bereft, despair
Sorrow, sadness
Too much to bear
Deep, drawn
Despondent, down
Misery, gloomy
Perpetual frown
Confused as to why
Emotions arrive
Logically happy
To just be alive
An inkling, a clue
To their source unknown
Glimmering glimpses
Occasionally shown
Figure it out
A mysterious glow
A secret so hidden
Can hope can dream
But keep all inside
Tormented emotions
All hidden inside
But Hashem
Understands
Just where
I stand
He can help
He can care
With Him
I can share
For Him
I entrust
As unburden
I must
Tatty knows
Tatty cares
I cry
Tatty hears
He hugs
He protects
Caresses
Holds me erect
Comforts my soul
Endows me with strength
Will help me through this dark
Whatever its length
Who Are You?
You catch my eye
As you pass by
I look at you
I see you…
Yet, do I?
Do I see your pain
Your sorrow and dread?
Do I see the road
On which you tread?
Do I see youur character
Your unique personality?
Do I see your virtues
Your true quality?
Do I see what scares you
What makes you fear?
Do I see what upsets you
What makes you drop a tear?
Do I see your disputes
You disagreements?
Do I see your hard work
Your great achievements?
Do I see the great nisayon
You’ve overcome?
Do I see where
You’re coming from?
I look at your side
As on you stride
Who are you?
What are you?
What do you hide?
observanteen
I like your poem – it’s true – it’s so easy to disregard people who have so much depth and so many qualities…
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