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WIY: So basically, you not only insist on a girl who looks good, but who looks good without makeup.
oomis1105: Right on!
Question: What do guys think of tall girls wearing heels? & by tall I mean 5’7 and by heels I mean 3-4 inches.
popa
😉
Lol…can’t say WIY is wrong…
Noomtw – as a rule of thumb, don’t wear shoes that make your date look upward. Also, unless it’s accepted where you live, imho the more inches the less tzniyus…
While high heels are very attractive, they are 1) very unhealthy for the feet and down the line will absolutely ruin that girl’s knee joints and arches and 2) certain types really ARE very untzniusdig and are even known by an expression (which I will not repeat) DAVKA because they are meant to be seductive. Clearly that is not so appropriate for frum girls, though I often see them being worn, especially as boots (and that makes no sense whatsoever to me, as these things are too precarious for snow weather).
my niece is tall and insists on wearing 7 inch heels and everyone hates it gender aside
Nomtw – Lol, that’s pretty darn tall! I’m 5′ 10″ so your scenario would make her at least as tall as me; but hey, why not? Heels are cool, and if I’m attracted to her otherwise, I don’t think heels will make or break it.
Interjection… What makes you say such a broad and senseless generalization?
This entire thread and discussion is untznius. “Ask the opposite gender”? Really? Frum? And especially all these inappropriate and prurient questions. Frankly, I’m shocked it got this far. This is the type of discussion that shouldn’t be closed; it should be deleted.
You should be deleted… From this post. There’s nothing wrong with it. Go impose your chumras somewhere else.
You seriously have no problem with this prurient discussion?
DELETE DELETE DELETE EXTERMINAAAAATE
party poopers…
heels rock but if the guy is shorter than you when you are wearing heels…akward
It’s not prurient. We are all being very decent here. Nobody is using any inappropriate language or making suggestive references.
This forum is highly informative and very helpful for people in the shidduchim scene that don’t know any real people to ask about these issues, or are too embarrassed to do so when they are not anonymous. If you feel you are too holy for this thread then just don’t read it.
shein calm down the world will continue spinning would you prefer they google the questioins?
shein
As if in shidduchim nobody talks about looks and how the guy/girl dresses.
Soo.. What’s the best way for a normal, decent Jewish “out of town” bochur to find a good shidduch? There are almost no frum girls here, and it seems the majority of “in town” girls who search far “out of town” are doing so because they are desperate due to one reason or another. What should we “OOT”ers do?
Please delete the locker room talk at the top of this page:
“popa
;-)”
“Lol…can’t say WIY is wrong…”
The original post (that they are referring to) was fine, but the above is gross and unnecessary.
interjection
Thats not locker room talk. You should know that most guys (over 99% lol) care very much about the way their date, kallah, wife looks and a guy shouldnt have to feel bad for wanting an attractive girl and for wanting his kallah/wife to dress well. The way some girls look on dates is a chiddush they get a date in the first place. Make an effort my gosh! Dont you know anything about how guys work?!
Oh and for the record many girls are this way as well. How many guys get “dumped” because they dont look so “put together” or because they are too short or too tall or some other feature the guy doesnt like. Lets admit it we all like someone who is attractive to “us” regardless of how others may perceive them and theres no problem with it.
I have no rachmanus on someone who doesnt bother trying to look good for a date. You are going on the most important job interview of your life, try to play the part!
Yes we all have to care, it means you’re healthy and straight. It was the winking that got to me…like you’re all in on some guilty scheme.
Interjection
Its just a way of communicating that we understand each other its guy talk. Im sure girls have their own version. I am sorry if it offended you. I have no problem if the mods remove it but I am not asking them to and I dont know if they will anyways.
Curiousity: “Soo.. What’s the best way for a normal, decent Jewish “out of town” bochur to find a good shidduch? There are almost no frum girls here, and it seems the majority of “in town” girls who search far “out of town” are doing so because they are desperate due to one reason or another. What should we “OOT”ers do?”
Desperate? No..it’s just a mentality some of us NY girls have- we don’t want “cookie cutter NY” that many boys are here so we want you OOT’ers….come to NY, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised!
Maybe some of you (girls) can explain what type of bachur you are looking for, so that we can start working on ourselves a few years before getting “on the market”.
Maybe some of you (girls) can explain what type of bachur you are looking for, so that we can start working on ourselves a few years before getting “on the market”.
I’m looking for a bachur who cares about learning more than he cares about working, but will work instead of learning.
One who cares about his family more than he cares about making money, but is making money.
One who stays up late learning, but never comes late to shachris.
One who likes to have fun, but has never had fun–only learned.
One who never drinks, smokes, watches movies, reads goyish books, but is worldly.
One who will make a good parnassa in exactly 4 years, but has never gone to college.
One who will just learn in kollel for several years, but will not insist that my parents support us or that I work.
One who will only appreciate me for what is inside, but will also think I am beautiful outside.
One who will stay home to help with the kids at night and in the morning, and will have a regular seder with a chavrusah.
Can anyone help me find this guy?
sorry popa, I already married him.
sorry popa, I already married him.
Syag, there is contradictory info on this site about you. I think you must be trolling us. http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/here-we-go-again-1#post-413119
Imagine that – I’ve been discovered! Now the creditors are sure to find me, I never claimed that shoe shining income.
I never wear heels. I’d wear heels only if my husband liked it, and not when he wasn’t around. Who wants everyone evaluating how attractive they are? Plus, if I save the heels for when they’re really needed, my feet will be better able to handle them. / end monologue
Now, for insecure questions of the opposite gender: Am I too tzanua, sincere, pretty, happy, healthy, confident, educated, articulate, creative to get married?
Just kidding!!!
In the spirit of PBA:
Maybe some of you (boys) can explain what type of girl you are looking for, so that we can start working on ourselves a few years before getting “on the market”.
I’m looking for a girl who comes from a rich family, but is willing to be mistapek b’muat.
One who cares about her family and being a wife and mother more than she cares about making money, but is making money.
One who always looks beautiful, but never makes me wait for her to be ready to go to a social even.
One who likes to have fun, but in a tzanua fashion.
One who is worldly, but not more worldly than I am, and deeply respects my opinions on all political and religious issues, and never disagrees on anything.
One who has gone to college and is educated, but never talked to boys.
One whose parents will support us so that I don’t need to ever work, but will never make demands on me at home.
One who is beautiful outside, and also has a lovely personality and is not too vain and full of herself.
One who cooks well and is always thin.
Can anyone help me find this girl?
OK, mine wasn’t quite on the level. But you get the idea.
K it’s getting lame… What’s the worst thing/ place a guy/ girl can do/ go on a date. I’m all 4 practicality!!
Now that many esteemed members of the CR have resurfaced- Dare I bring this thread (of yesteryear/the way the cr used to be) back?
My question is for both Genders-
Is it “Normal” or “appropriate” for a girl to DISCREETLY snap a picture of a boy she might be interested in- say at a wedding- so that she may find out his name, age etc… and the same when it comes to a guy interested in a girl…
As long as she can pretend that it is a snapchat.
Ie. discretion is key.
bygirl93: Would you have any problem with guys surreptitiously taking pictures of you and other girls at weddings or on the street? If you happened to notice one of them doing it, would you be cool with that?
first of all- it’s kinda hard to get caught with phone nowadays… its really easy to pretend you are texting or taking a picture of a friend etc.. and second of all- no i would not mind… i would prob be flattered ( i can not say for sure as i have not yet experienced this- that i am aware of)
I think the key was that you were gonna use it to find out who he was for a purpose. If you are gonna show it to 100 of your closest friends first then no.
i had a guy do that once- ‘discretely’ snap a pic of me on the bus one day. I was not impressed with it, nor with his failed discretion :). But snapping a pic of a guy at a wedding, how do you even know if he’s single??
I think that boys should not be taking pics of girls, but its easier to tell if girls are single.
1. Beauty comes from the inside, you are gonna take a picture of every cute guy you see????
2. How the heck are you gonna find his?? Name???? You go to your shadchan:
“Hey, I took a pic of this cute guy I want to date, can you tell me his name, adress, city…”
I remember this thread, glad someone bumped it! 😉
I’d grab their phone and break it. And then break their nose for good measure.
if you are taking pics at me at a wedding or in the street then you are not the kind of guy im looking for. so if you are trying to get me, don’t do it.
if you want to date me for my looks, you can get on line. just saying, the lines not moving.
live right: So you think there’s a line of people just waiting to date you for your looks? How do you know? Did people tell you that?
It’s very important for a person to find his/her spouse physically attractive. So don’t turn away guys who think you’re good looking!
Randomly taking pictures of girls is quite inappropriate and one may not take a picture of anyone regardless of their gender without their permission.
I feel that this is kinda stalkerish to snap a pic of someone when they are unaware… Too paparazzo for my taste. I see nothing wrong with pointing a person OUT to someone to try to find out more about him, though.
DaMoshe: im not saying they are all Jewish/ religious. In fact most of them are not. but I do get asked out at least once a week by random people who see me on the street. so yeh, those are not my type.
Someone once very obviously took my picture on the subway. I turned around and pretended it didn’t happen, but it scared me.
I would definitely not advise doing this for either gender. Either approach them or don’t approach them. But don’t take stalkerish pics.
T613: Was it an Orthodox Jewish person that took that photo? Also, I don’t understand why you would suggest it okay to approach an opposite gender on the subway to ask out.
LAB: It’s far more appropriate to approach someone honestly and directly than to take pictures on the sly, which is completely untznius.
But you’d agree even your suggestion is a weak b’dieved that shouldn’t be done other than to avoid the worse possibility you described, correct?
Correct.
Okay, so I’ve been in the background of people’s Snapchat and Instagram photos, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that if someone took a photo of me on purpose with the intent to find out about me, I’d be extraordinarily creeped out. Weirdly flattered (and stunned beyond belief), but concurrently completely creeped out.
Not likely to happen, but still…
I would also never do it myself- I’m one of the type that thinks that it’s stalkerish to see someone I don’t recognize and ask later who he/she is… more of the meek and let-things-be style.
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