Home › Forums › Shidduchim › Ask the opposite gender
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July 11, 2012 1:14 am at 1:14 am #989303BronyParticipant
ZABACHUR
a Chofetz Chaim guy
such as yourself
probably has lots
of questions for girls.
Please UNBURDEN yourself
as necessary.
Also bygirl93
please elaborate on
the resume pictures thing.
Does it bother you that
guys ask for them?
If yes,
How else is a guy
supposed to know
how she looks?
July 11, 2012 1:17 am at 1:17 am #989304ZABACHURParticipantwhite shirts are boring! add some color and personality…i wear colorful and crazy socks everyday…people need a way to express themselves…also interjection…people sometimes do switch to exclusively white shirts…in my yeshiva guys sometimes start wearing white shirts after they get married
July 11, 2012 1:18 am at 1:18 am #989305BronyParticipantWHOA WHOA WHOA
ZABACHUR, please explain
this “beshita no white shirt” thing.
LADIES,
if you found out that a guy
is MILITANTLY anti-white shirt
would that bother you?
July 11, 2012 1:35 am at 1:35 am #989306ZABACHURParticipanthaha quite perceptive…but why must a chofetz chaim guy have questions for girls?
July 11, 2012 1:39 am at 1:39 am #989307BronyParticipantIt’s comfort before style. Just this past Shabbos my friends and I were reminiscing about our UGGS. I personally wait all summer and spring to wear mine. It’s been too hot I miss them!! They’re like walking on the clouds!!!
This would be
easier to believe
if you guys didn’t all
wear four inch heals
and poke holes in your ears
for no apparent reason.
CONFESSION:
I don’t find earrings
all that attractive
and can’t imagine why
anyone would voluntarily
get piercings.
I’m all about
DAT INDEPENDENCE
July 11, 2012 1:43 am at 1:43 am #989308ZABACHURParticipantooooo actually i do have a question…what do girls think about guys wearing pink? socks, shirts, ties, etc. but back to socks…do girls think its weird for guys to wear colorful, “wacky” socks like an extreme example would be bright pink socks
July 11, 2012 2:15 am at 2:15 am #989310bygirl93Memberinterjection- what bothers me about smoking????? EVERYTHING!!!! it is slowly killing the person who smokes and the people closest to them! now that we know what it causes it is practically deciding you don’t mind dying early? would you go out with someone who is basically saying- i don’t really care much about my life, or those around me? – for further reference see “smoking- should it be muttar?”
the definition of stupid is:
-lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull.
-characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless:
-tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless:
-annoying or irritating; troublesome:
-in a state of stupor; stupefied
MY definition is someone who just doesn’t think!!! G-D gave people brains for a reason!!! to use!!! engage brain before action!!!!!!
July 11, 2012 2:19 am at 2:19 am #989311bygirl93Memberbrony- yes it bothers me that they ask for them- ever heard of a date???? that’s what first dates are for!!!! what did they do before pictures where so easy to come by??? and its more of the principle of the matter- they can’t look at us in the streets but they can in a picture??? but thats besides the point- see the please include photo thread for a full blown disscussion about it
July 11, 2012 2:47 am at 2:47 am #989312CRiousMemberThis would be
easier to believe
if you guys didn’t all
wear four inch heals
and poke holes in your ears
for no apparent reason.
Hahhahah that made me laugh. Honestly, I find the way you lay out your posts a bit annoying, but whatever.
While you made a valid point with the shoes, I think earrings are different. First of all, they usually get pierced when the girls are very young, so they don’t really have a choice, and the pain doesn’t last so long. Also, most people DO find earrings attractive.
July 11, 2012 2:50 am at 2:50 am #989313BronyParticipantWhat’s this about
not looking
in the streets?
Again, easier to believe
if you didn’t spend
TWO HOURS PRIMPING
and only made it
for Anim Zemiros.
Also, do you hate
on brothers who ask
for a beauty description
from references
before the date?
July 11, 2012 3:02 am at 3:02 am #989314bygirl93Memberzabachur- pink is a little weird but most other colors are usually fine- but if the girl is the type to only wear black and no color- then they might not approve of your socks
July 11, 2012 3:06 am at 3:06 am #989315BronyParticipanta little weird…if the girl is the type to only wear black and no color- then they might not approve of you…
ZABACHUR
I edited this
to refer to
Chofetz Chaim guys
in general
sorry : (
July 11, 2012 3:10 am at 3:10 am #989316bygirl93Memberbrony- same thing with pix- they are not always what they seem! same exact thing- everyone gets all primped etc before they take like 100 pics and then decide which is the perfect one to use as their shidduch pic. and no i do not hate on anyone – it just annoys me. and i do not give out my pic- and they can ask away- but beauty is in the eye of the beholder! and what the reference might think is pretty might not be for the person asking- so most people when asked those q’s skate around answers picking one spec. pretty feature- like when she smiles her whole face lights up, you can see the twinkle in her eyes. etc. and then they say ya shes rlly pretty/ cute etc. or they skate around that part by mentioning her personality- ppl are VERY careful when it come to q’s like that because for all you know it can be a deal breaker.
July 11, 2012 3:11 am at 3:11 am #989317bygirl93Memberhey! your construing my carefully thought out words!!!!
July 11, 2012 3:14 am at 3:14 am #989318bygirl93Member“if you found out that a guy
is MILITANTLY anti-white shirt
would that bother you?”
very possibly! it all depends on why would he be so against them? there is a reason behind it- but i prefer guys who at least wear a white shirt l’kvod shabbos/ yom tov- or learning
July 11, 2012 3:18 am at 3:18 am #989319yentingyentaParticipanti have an extreme dislike toward men wearing pink (hate is a strong word…) a navy tie with pink design is one thing, a pink tie is another. so is a pink shirt. really not so manly. and i have feministic views about the color pink (and my 5 year old sister says a blue dress is for boys so it must be genetic)
crazy socks are OK imho (my cousins like mismatched socks so i’m used to it), just as long as the pants fall normally and you dont see the ENTIRE sock. cuz thats just a major faux pas if your pants are too short. that and keeping your phone and wallet in 1 pocket. guys you have more than one pocket. distribute your stuff between them.
k i’ve got a question for the dudes. what do guys have against taking showers regularly?
July 11, 2012 3:24 am at 3:24 am #989321apushatayidParticipantOy
July 11, 2012 3:54 am at 3:54 am #989322BronyParticipantbygirl
this is valuable information
and EXACTLY what this thread
was INTENDED for.
can you please explain to me
this cute vs. pretty business
on a 1-10 scale, where does
cute end and pretty begin?
July 11, 2012 4:13 am at 4:13 am #989323BronyParticipantyentingyenta,
EXCELLENT advice, but
you hang out around with
the wrong guys
if you think they
aren’t take showers
on the reg.
CURIOUS:
what do you ladies
thank about guys
who wear cologne?
when I go FULL SWAG
I generally roll with a
VERY LIGHT SMATTERING of
MAN by Comme des Garcons.
Thoughts?
July 11, 2012 4:15 am at 4:15 am #989324interjectionParticipantIf a guy is militantly anti white, he’s not wearing it for self expression. He’s wearing for rebellion and that would bother me. By the time someone feels ready for marriage, they should be confident in themself that their clothes choice is actually a matter of self expression and not a rebellion against societal opinion.
It’s generally not the same girls wearing the four inch heels and the UGGS.
About the asking for beauty references: A girl who knows she is beautiful will be turned off. A girl who is beautiful but is unsure about her beauty will appreciate it. To a girl who knows she is not attractive, it’s a stab in the heart.
July 11, 2012 4:28 am at 4:28 am #989325BronyParticipantOHOHOH
your use of the
“stab in the heart”
metaphor made me
cry for like
three seconds.
But wait,
if you’re asking references
how would they know
you are asking?
July 11, 2012 5:06 am at 5:06 am #989326ZABACHURParticipanti didnt mean people who are militantly against white shirts…i meant people who most definitely wear white shirts likovod shabbos but wouldnt dream of it during the week…some are bishita against white shirts meaning a person has something against wearing white shirts themselves it might be out of ignorance but more commonly they are at a point in their lives where they want to express themselves…and there are not a whole lot of ways to express oneself for a guy…if the dude is in yeshiva then he is doing the right thing and whether he wears a colored shirt he learns just as well as his white shirted counterpart
July 11, 2012 5:10 am at 5:10 am #989327ZABACHURParticipanthow did you edit the post to mean chofetz chaim guys in general when you said “such as yourself”…and why is everyone hating on guys wearing pink socks..the example i gave of bright pink socks is a little extreme i’ll admit but pink doesnt have to be a female color…now people may get the wrong impression…so without going into details that may not be appropriate for this forum i dont like pink thaaaaaat much…if you catch my drift
July 11, 2012 5:23 am at 5:23 am #989328JustHavingFunParticipantdo girls think its weird for guys to wear colorful, “wacky” socks
I love it! I’m knitting hubby some wacky socks, in fact!
About the colored shirts:
Hubby wears white shirts on Shabbos and Yom Tov. Hubby and I met on a frum dating site. Well after the wedding he pointed out to me that all of his profile photos showed him in different outfits just to emphasize that he’s not a white-shirt-only guy … but I never noticed! (Actually, the one photo I really liked was in B&W. LOL
I think it’s weird to make such a big to-do over shirt color or “wacky socks.” It’s actions and middos that count. There wouldn’t be such a “shidduch crisis” if we taught our children to ignore the fashion and focus on the personality.
July 11, 2012 5:42 am at 5:42 am #989329Song of BlessingParticipantI think pink is fine for guys but some can and some can’t pull it off….
but I don’t like weird sock colors… or weird shoe colors for that matter lol.
its not a deal breaker it was the general thing going when I was a teenager the guys couldn’t care less about what the girls thought coz “when they get married their wives are anyways going to re-do their wardrobe.”
Incidentally…
Do guys prefer to think that when they will get married their wives will choose their clothing or do they generally like to be independent and shop for themselves?
July 11, 2012 12:05 pm at 12:05 pm #989330oomisParticipant“I think it’s weird to make such a big to-do over shirt color or “wacky socks.” It’s actions and middos that count. There wouldn’t be such a “shidduch crisis” if we taught our children to ignore the fashion and focus on the personality. “
This excellent observation bears repetition.
July 11, 2012 1:02 pm at 1:02 pm #989331BronyParticipantI think it’s weird to make such a big to-do over shirt color or “wacky socks.” It’s actions and middos that count. There wouldn’t be such a “shidduch crisis” if we taught our children to ignore the fashion and focus on the personality.
I think the POINT
is that the colored shirt
says something about the guy’s
GENERAL LIFESTYLE.
Also, why would a girl
even TRY to mitigate
my SWAG
by shopping for me?
July 11, 2012 2:13 pm at 2:13 pm #989332yentingyentaParticipanti dont hang out with guys first of all. i’m going based on school experience with the frum guys
personally i dont care if a guy wears cologne. i can’t tell one from the next. the thing that bugs me is guys who don’t shower enough or dont wear deoderant. YUCK. if a guy is clean, the cologne is a nice bonus. just dont wear too much of it.
July 11, 2012 3:05 pm at 3:05 pm #989333bygirl93Member1) how bout trying dark socks with a color design? Like the top band and heel part and toe
part are all 1 color or 1 color stripes- etc
2) the way you made the shirt thing sound was as if he bedafka wasn’t wearing white- i have no problem with wearing colored shirts but there is obvi. Something much deeper if he’s doing it as a statement!
3) its not a scale of cute to pretty- some you just say r cute, others pretty some both and
others none it all depends on what you think is pretty-
4) interjection – very intresting take on the whole pretty thing but that’s not always true
5) brony – they would know because when you ask her friends she usually gets a full blown play by play of the convo-
6) I agree – shouldn’t be looking at looks and clothes shuld be middos etc-
July 11, 2012 3:50 pm at 3:50 pm #989334Doodle-Man™MemberBrony: YOU have no SWAG. SWAG doesnt come from WHAT SHOES YOU WEAR
or WHAT CAR YOU DRIVE. ANYBODY can wear those SHOES if they wanted.
SWAG has to be in YOU.
July 11, 2012 4:15 pm at 4:15 pm #989335yummy cupcakeMemberi agree with whoever it was (not looking back now) that said smoking is a sure way of killing oneself. very well put. personally i do not think guys should be wearing pink at all. i don’t mind using the word hate. i HATE pink on guys! wacky socks are a no. i don’t mind if the top band and toes are colored. and like bygirl said, if the reason he is wearing colored shirts is b’davka cuz he’s going against white, then i have a big problem with it. and i know i’m gonna seem shallow now, sure sure, i’ll let everyone give me chai v’kayam for this- i don’t really like when guys wear colored shirts in general. (ok everyone, start screaming at me. i’m waiting) but i wouldn’t turn a guy down for it straight from the beginning. cuz i know that’s not what its all about. i mean, i don’t mind like polo shirts when he’s cleaning for pesach or building the sukkah or any dirty work.
and brony, why on earth are you writing that way? it bothers me to no end. not that you have to change for me, im just curious…
July 11, 2012 5:06 pm at 5:06 pm #989336sem20MemberVery simple, if you dont wear a pink tie and light charcoal suit (boxed) your behind the times!!! :)…..
July 11, 2012 5:34 pm at 5:34 pm #989337ZABACHURParticipantmoskidoodle…actually swag does not at all come from inside…its all about what you wear and how you carry yourself…and seriously? girls hate guys wearing pink?!? thats a little extreme i think…and no way my wife is going shopping for my clothes..unless I’m there and making sure i like what she buys or she knows me well enough to know EXACTLY what I like and more importantly what I dont like
July 11, 2012 5:36 pm at 5:36 pm #989338ZABACHURParticipanttop band and heel part of the toe??? those are the parts noone sees…when u sit down and people smile at the craziness of your socks …thats when you know you’re wearing the right socks
July 11, 2012 7:00 pm at 7:00 pm #989339abba_murray_bar_popaParticipantMethinks Brony would do better
by addressing his questions to Jonah
July 11, 2012 7:29 pm at 7:29 pm #989340JustHavingFunParticipantI think the POINT
is that the colored shirt
says something about the guy’s
GENERAL LIFESTYLE.
Lifestyle-shmifestyle. You’re either a Torah-observant Yid or you’re not. Brony, you don’t get it. You’re perpetuating a limited perspective. A colored shirt says NOTHING about the person’s character. I know a Rosh Kollel from a very distinguished line who doesn’t wear only black suits! Tiens (as the French would say)! What Lifestyle does that represent?
And, when talking color, purple, blue, scarlet, and crimson are distinguished because they are the colors of the covering of the mishkan. I don’t think PINK is mentioned anywhere. As far as pink being feminine, it’s a myth. The trend toward “color-coding” babies took off in the early 20th century. In earlier times, babies were dressed in white or other color, and even little boys wore skirt-like apparel. Pretty much after World War II boy babies started being dressed in blue preferentially and girls in pink; but you can read the history as well as I can and see it is arbitrary.
July 11, 2012 7:29 pm at 7:29 pm #989341Doodle-Man™MemberMethinks Brony would do better…
Is it Bein Hazmanim already?
July 11, 2012 7:38 pm at 7:38 pm #989342yentingyentaParticipantmoski, if it was bein hazmanim, bar shatya and a sheep w/o a spleen would be here too
July 11, 2012 8:54 pm at 8:54 pm #989344Doodle-Man™Membermoski, if it was bein hazmanim, bar shatya and a sheep w/o a spleen would be here too
Well then we’re in luck.
July 11, 2012 8:54 pm at 8:54 pm #989345ZABACHURParticipantits definitely bein hazmanim
July 11, 2012 9:24 pm at 9:24 pm #989346dafbiyunParticipantI recall like it was yesterday the comment some ritzy girl made when we left her house and she saw my (parents’)Reliant K mini stationwagon (this was in 1984):”oh you have a suburban houswife’s car” Ouch. Thats why my kids now get to go out in my Infinity!
July 11, 2012 9:28 pm at 9:28 pm #989347🍫Syag LchochmaParticipantMoski: love the subtlety. (And the telepathy . . .)
July 11, 2012 9:31 pm at 9:31 pm #989348HealthParticipantYenta -“k i’ve got a question for the dudes. what do guys have against taking showers regularly?”
What does regularly mean? Once this is defined -then the men here can say -I do or I don’t.
July 11, 2012 9:37 pm at 9:37 pm #989349interjectionParticipantPink has become a feminine thing even if it wasn’t always. Many girls are bothered by men who wear pink.
And the cologne thing: Unless you’re doing it for yourself, don’t wear unless you’re in a relationship. It almost seems trying too hard otherwise…
July 11, 2012 10:05 pm at 10:05 pm #989350oomisParticipantYosef did not wear white. His clothing was multi-colored. He was a Tzaddik.
July 11, 2012 10:27 pm at 10:27 pm #989351Doodle-Man™MemberSL: 😛
July 11, 2012 10:30 pm at 10:30 pm #989352yentingyentaParticipantmoski, my thoughts exactly. let the fun begin
health, daily. or enough you are clean. once or twice a week just doesnt cut it
July 11, 2012 10:34 pm at 10:34 pm #989353theObviousMemberwent through this thread and brony, i had to laugh! youre nuts:) but i like this threda alotttt!!!!!!!!!!! but what you said about the heels and the uggs- come one! we wear heels to look pretty and then give our feet a vacay with out heaven yummy uggs! give us something!! and about the cologne, nah. i wont say i dont like it but still, nahhh.
and sem20- you got it:) pink tie+ grey suit= good to go! hehe!
im still laughing at this thread!!
July 11, 2012 11:20 pm at 11:20 pm #989354yummy cupcakeMemberi agree with yenting. and spraying your clothes with deodorant does not make you clean!
July 12, 2012 12:02 am at 12:02 am #989355ZABACHURParticipantwhat kind of guys do you hang out with that they smell so bad and dont take showers????? uggs are gross btw
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