Apologizing: It's wonderful

I couldn’t agree more Middle when you choose to apologize you are benefiting as much as the apologee (the person to whom you are apologizing is that a word?) everyone makes mistakes you can either choose to learn from them by admitting your fault or ignore them and be doomed to repeat the same mistakes. To apologize is to grow as a human being.

Really insightful. Thank you for that beautiful piece.

Hey MiddlePath this is a GREAT piece! You write exceptionally well, that although it was long (!) the flow was excellent, ensuring the reader to want to read further 😉

Thank you for sharing!

What is more meritorious ( hope i spelled that right) to apologize or to forgive?

MP – i couldn’t have said it better than PrincessEagle! i really enjoy reading posts that have such meaning. thank you!

goq- that is a hard question to answer. apologizing may be hard because of all the embarrasement and shame that comes with admiting (even to yourself) that you were wrong. however to forgive is an extrememly high madregah because of all the hurt that you endured. i do feal though that it is easier to forgive someone who has given a sincere apology, than to forgive someone who never apologised…

didnt read this thread but just wanna tell you that the min I saw this thread I knew who started it! LOL

OH hhhh Middlepath, you sound like a gem of a boy. I just love reading your thoughts in posts, and I am thrilled for the girl who will get to be your Queen wife one day. You are so deep and sensitive.

Only your post makes me a little down in the dumps realizing how I got ripped off that my husband is “apologetically disabled” he has a very hard time to say “I am sorry” and it means the world to me. Its a real nisyon for me, who is always quick to apologize, and I get my feelings hurt on a regular basis.Rabbi Avigdor Miller says that searching for one’s spouse is like looking for the one you are going to be constantly be stepping on each other’s toes with. You wait and look and search and then you find them and then its like going through a dance in life wiht this partner but although you may step on each others “toes” once in a while, its good to apologize. You say “oops sorry was that your toe? Are you ok?”

I don’t get that from my husband. He gets real strong and keeps up his stance which hurts me. And I get really hurt, and retract within a shell that gets harder and harder and more brittle over time and I have a personal problem that I can’t forgive easily even if he says sorry 2 days later.

Mp because of this thread i apologized to someone today ty!

i once had someone take advantage of the fact that i am more on the trusting side. basically this person played a trick on me and it took a while into the conversation to pick up on the inconsistencies. once i figured it out i was REALLY upset that i was taken advantage of. my first reaction was anger of course but once i calmed down about 60 seconds later i told the person how upset i was, that it was over and beyond what is acceptable….. in that conversation the person apologized but i was still hurt. it took me a long time to be able to say “i forgive you for such and such”. it took me about 6 months from when it happened to erev Y”K but i forgave the person. and after i did, it was SUCH a relief that i didn’t have to carry that hurt around. before i forgave the person each time i remembered the situation i felt a flair up of the same emotions. now, its the past. its something to learn from that i am able to forgive and forget. and it reinforced that time heals many things to the point that old scars fade until they are no longer there. even though it took me half a year to forgive, i still pat my self on the back that i did it because i thought i was never going to be able to get over it. but i did!

MP- thanx for this thread. sometimes apologizing is a great thing as hard as it may be

Yes, carrying around old hurts weighs a lot. I feel i would like to unburden the load I am carrying but I dont know how to forgive easily, and I am very angry at certain people who have really caused me a lot of pain and hurt in my past. I Must work on this I know. Theres a lot to be said on Forgiveness.

MiddlePath: Would love to hear it, if you’d like to share it.

and if your hands aren’t the type that get sore fast.

its a great piece. sounds like you can express yourself through writing very well. do you write to yourself a lot?

Isnt it amazing to be able to look back and say to yourself “wow I cannot imagine how I was in that rut and Im so happy that i was able to pull myself out?” I can totally understand you because just a few weeks ago I was having a hard time with something but now I feel like I really turned the corner! Keep up the great work!