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Kk, these past few weeks I’ve been overwhelmed with a lot of things going on in my life. It’s not a to-do list that keeps getting longer and longer even though I don’t have that much time to do anything (that I guess is part of the issue) but with just stuff in general, things to think about, life decisions to make, trying to help out people who need it, hating where I go every day….and now all these tragedies.
My brain just can’t deal. I’m walking around like a zombie and depressed (more like majorly stressed), I have nothing to look forward too except my friends who are all in the same boat as me.
Is there any advice from anyone on how to become who I was, a healthy, happy person?
TIA
Stop worrying about long-term or overall things. Instead of thinking “did I do anything this week” or “did I accomplish anything this week”, change it to “did I do something today”. If that still stresses you out start thinking hour by hour. Eventually you’ll realize that even though you’re busy, it’s because you’re doing necessary things each hour. With that realization, the stress goes away. Sometimes we need to look long-term to realize we are accomplishing things, but there are situations in life where looking more and more short-term shows us how valuable our life really is.
-Expect that life naturally has its ups and downs
-Develop coping skills to develop resilience
-Exercise at least 10 minutes every morning
-Write in a journal before you go to sleep and upon arising. Include 5 things for which you are grateful.
-Breathe deeply from your diaphragm
-Listen to music
-Read Garden of Emunah and Garden of Gratitude
-Keep a healthy diet
*The diet and exercise reduce physical stress while increasing endorphins, thereby giving you stamina to withstand emotional stress.
*Writing without thinking itemizes for you clearly what’s on your mind, thereby creating relief and space. Including a gratitude journal creates balance and more focus on other things going on in your life.
*Music is the language of the soul and makes us happy.
*Increasing your emuna and gratitude helps keep one going in a more positive frame of mind.
You can do it, and we’re all cheering you on! Feel better soon!
And you’ll help your friends get through it as well!
It looks like you are suffering from Anxiety (although I may be wrong). Been there, done that. We all have stressful and anxiety creating moments in our lives. All you need, is learn some coping skills. I was cured by listening to Lucinda Bassett’s program (they’re 15 CDs) called The Midwest Center. You can go to http://www.stresscenter.com to find out more info.
My brain just can’t deal
Try taking a break. Take a hot bath, read a good book, listen to music, or just take some time for yourself and do nothing.
I have nothing to look forward too except my friends who are all in the same boat as me.
Misery loves company. Try hanging out with positive good-natured friends. Also, please do look for something to look forward to. I usually treat myself to writing or listening to music.
Hatzlacha Rabba! Please keep us posted on your progress.
chill
btw you posted a while back about a friend of yours who has a netally ill and abusive mother. if you dont mind my asking, i was one of the people who responded at length on that thread, how is she doing?
Sister Bear. In my opinion it sounds to me like you are burned out. You need to have down time. The irony is that is you take some down time to get away and casually walk, sit by a lake or ocean, etc., give yourself a vacation from your life for a few days; that you will have more mental spring to your step and be able to move forward through the same concerns all the better.
Just like we need sleep to unwind from the day, sometimes we need to turn down and rest our minds to handle things and become rejuvenated and get our second wind.
Hatzlacha!
“I’ll keep that in mind. But seriously it’s not so simple to chill when you find out that some of your friends aren’t keeping Shabbos…”
oh so thats whats stressing you out…just last week i posted a thread about how heavily the knowledge that someone marries a goy or doesnt keep shabbos weighs on me…i completely understand.
i can tell you what my rav said, even though im still trying to work through it myself. he basically said that i shouldnt be out to change the world because i cant. i should focus on and do what i can and leave teh rest to hashem. so all i can tell you, and im telling this to myself as well, is to be understanding of your friends, encourage them when you can, inspire them when you can, be mekadesh shem shamayim when you can, but don’t feel responsible for their behaviour.
by the way, just to clarify, understanding does not equal approval. understanding means that you have listened to what they have to say, that you acknowledge their side of the issue, and that you can at the very least sympathize with it. you dont need to nor should you approve of their chillul shabbos, but the first step to helping them, if that is what you want to do, is completely understanding why they do what they do, what their thought processes are and wha ttheir feelings are. once you understand them you can try to appeal to them.
once again, im saying this to myself as well, they are not your responsibility. you can try to help them, and it would be admirable, but they are their own people and are responsible for their own actions ultimately, and they are not your responsibility.
also…GOOD FOR YOUR FRIEND! 😀 thats amazing! im glad i could be helpful, it means a lot to me 🙂
Sister Bear
“I’m going to try to do it. 🙂 (now I need to actually find time to 😉 but I will. And welcome back!!!!!!!?your words are always inspirational ”
*Did you make the time for it today?*
And thank you for your kind words, it makes it more worthwhile and I appreciate your sentiment, even for the word(s) you blanked out on!
I dont know the specifics.
so I will try to give you some advice.
this comes from someone that has a million things to do. and yes, gets them all done!
Start the day with making a list with the things what need to get done.
then start doing them, a very important thing is to DO ONE THING AT A TIME, and not to rest until this one thing has been done. never do half, since you will never finish up, and it will pile up.
you will see that before you know it, you will have accomplished a lot.
STEP TWO, the next morning, start off with making a new list. take the old list, take all the tasks that have not been done, put them on the top of the new list. then add the new tasks.
a good idea is to start your day early, so like that you get a head start.
This works for me.
but youre not sitting there and doing nothing. youre doing your hishtadlus…thats your part
SisterBear: Glad you checked it out. Hope you’re doing better…Hatzlacha!
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