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Hi I am suffering with very bad anxiety at random times during the day. Last year I was in a yeshiva and had become very dependant on a certain rebbe in the yeshiva. It was terrible I was suffering so badly. It got to a point where I had to leave the yeshiva bc it was either me or the rebbe and of course he wasn’t the one getting chucked… Now it’s been over a year but I stll suffer sometimes when different things trigger and remind me of the rabbi or the times i spent with him…We were so close and now it is so hard to not have anything to do with him anymore. I try to tell myself many things like that this all happened with a cheshbon. Hashem had a reaon and it was and is all for my good. That I should appreciate how Hashem sends me his messengers whenever i neeed help with anything at the right times…BUT i stilll suffer very badly sometimes…any suggestions or advice?
Call Rabbi babad from releif 7184310352. He will set you up with a proper therapist that can help you. Chazak vemutz!
Maybe, since you look up so much to your Rabbi but can no longer be with him any more, you could try to be like him and follow in his great ways. I am not saying that you have to become a Rabbi, but maybe you can follow in the many great things that he does. I think that this is how you can help yourself from not feeling so removed or far away from him.
Best of luck!
It’s so scary how I know exactly what you are talking about and I can relate 100% percent! This year I have become so attached to teacher ( in a helpful way) and at times I feel such immense anxiety I feel like I’m having a full blown panic attack! Even when I’m not in school and just think about how we talk when we’re together it gives me such an attack! Do u mind elaborating on the point why u had to leave? Was it because u got to dependent on the rebbe or just for other private reasons? ( just curious )
It is never a good idea to become too dependent on anyone other than yourself..
That being said, perhaps a therapist would be able to explore the nature of your relationship with your rebbi and bring you to a place of closure.
holy brother -“Call Rabbi babad from releif 7184310352. He will set you up with a proper therapist that can help you. Chazak vemutz!”
Mods -I’ll try again.
I agree with going for therapy. It’s also a good idea to go to a Psychiatrist -in case you need medication.
I can relate to how u feel 100% percent! I also get very jealous when other people talk to this rebbe of mine and I feel very anxious all the time like I must tell him what I’m feeling or who knows what we happen. When we had vacation I felt extremely anxious n was looking forward to skool starting and now I just feel like I must talk what’s on my mind all the time which isn’t very possible. Feel the same way?
I can relate to how u feel 100% percent! I also get very jealous when other people talk to this rebbe of mine and I feel very anxious all the time like I must tell him what I’m feeling or who knows what we happen. When we had vacation I felt extremely anxious n was looking forward to skool starting and now I just feel like I must talk what’s on my mind all the time which isn’t very possible. Feel the same way?
It’s gettin even a bit freaky since when I read ur post I felt myself doing those exact same things! Like I only have this rebbe 2x a week n whenever we miss that lesson for a trip or speach I get so upset and anxious whilr everyone else is soo excited to miss a lesson! Yes it is so difficult! And I am currently going through it! I seriously have panic attacks when I think about the situation and the fact that I can’t talk to him ASAP! Also it scares me to think that next year I won’t be able to talk to him anymore since he will no longer be my rebbe! What do u mean by I thought other people noticed while they really didn’t at all? Because I hate the feeling where everyone knows me as the kid who has issues n must talk them with a teacher … It’s very hard on me that part
This sounds like a complicated situation, but standard advice for people with anxiety:
Breathing exercises (google it)
Read the book “Letting Go of Stress”, by Miller E.
Try and get good professional help.
Find someone who is professional, yet sensitive to your needs.
I have a friend that had similar attacks. Found someone and really got helped.
Professional without being sensitive, is not good enough. Sensitive without being professional is not good either. You should look for someone that has both.
I’m really looking into help but dnt want someone who just will have some initials after their name n try to just diagnose me at the first visit I need someone personable and sensitive yet good
ye im in mesivta…our situations are lil bit different but not really. in my case i have a reason for being so attached because my life at this point is VERY DIFFICULT. not the type that im making up problems… i got to know this rebbe this year and he is the reason im surviving! i tell him all the time that im so thankful i have him etc. without this rebbe i would feel like a ghost and a nobody. he gives me some meaning to life and i respect him more than anyone in the world. that is why its so hard to break off because breaking off means going back to a world of more than necessary pain! and ur right about people not realizing what im going thru! totally true!! i dont speak to him that often like have a lengthy conversation( happens prob 2x a month maybe) but i often see him in the hall and will ask him a quick something thats on my mind or he’ll ask me how im doing… do u think thats so bad? cuz u make it sound like i MUST break off immediately but that to me wud mean killing me completely!
I just want to thank you first of all for taking the lengthy amount of time out of ur life to help me with my problem it means a lot. So basically my life at this point is surrounded by so much bad but besides for the bad it’s surrounded with unimaginable pain! I feel as if I dnt matter bec if I did god wudnt put me thru so much yesurim! As hard as I try to improve myself as a good jew I find that hashem keeps piling on the pain therefor causing me to just feel worthless and low. Ik it’s wrong to feel this way but I can’t help it. This rebbe gives me some sense of meaning and I feel like he uplifts me every time we talk. He inspires me a lot. I am so low at this point I can’t daven I feel like why shud I praise hashem for all the pain but dnt get me wrong I know this is completely and utterly wrong of me but I’m trying to daven more. Just curious but was there a specific reason as to why u wud go to this rebbe so often? Like did u have a problem he helped u deal with or did u just enjoy his company? Thanx for ur amazing advice and I intend to apply it as soon as the situation occurs.
the best way would be to tackle your anxiety issues head on, not avoid it. I was a nervous wreck during the last quarter of 2011.
Also, just curious, r u still dealing with this problem of urs? Cuz from the amazing info ur giving me it seems like ur headed on ye right track and the problem is sort of behind u…
Help is out there, I am sure that are people or organizations that can refer you.
I really think that you should find someone, that can gear you in the right direction and help you cope.
You still have a life ahead of you.
I am very scared n nervous about professional help because I cannot see myself opening up to a therapist etc. just curious, do u mind tellin me like what professional was able to assist u? And I told u I know I am totally wrong for having something against hashem n I’m trying to improve. And yes my pain is immense n I cannot describe it here …
Dont be scared.
they know (if they are competent) that you are nervous. They make you feel comfortable.
If you are interested, I can give you a reference from someone that is located more upstate.
Remember, it really pays. You can have a wonderful great life!
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