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I dislike sitting at my family seudas as my brothers, brother-in-law and their spouses talk more about wine and whiskey than the Shabbos or Yom Tov we are celebrating.
And the Oohs and Ahhs and comments as each one puts down a fancy bottle at the table.
Is there any hope to curb the new drinking generation?Wine gladdens the heart of man.
Psalms 104:15my vintage that gladdens G-d and men
Judges 9:13What would you like for them to talk about instead, if they stop talking about alcohol?
Well what type of wines and whiskys are we talking about?
Talking about it doesn’t increase its alcohol content.
News flash: men like alcohol
News flash: men like alcohol
I guess I’m not a man.
I do like a bit of wine now and then, but I certainly don’t talk about alcohol at meals. However, I have never been drunk in my life (yes, I know that I’m a rasha for not fulfilling the mitzvah of getting drunk on Purim) and I have no intention of ever doing so.
The Wolf
Alcohol is Hashem’s gift to man. Not only does moderate drinking make one happy, it is also a miracle drug, good for the brain, the heart, and everything else. But the cup is מלכות, which contains within it a negative side, אף וזעם, that comes out when one drinks without control. One must use the power of the intellect, כח הבינה, to control not only the quantity of ones drink but also how one directs and utilizes the feelings that come from a moderate dose. Does one direct them to the right or to the left, to happiness or to anger. The negative side must be directed to the kelipos, and the positive side to serve Hashem with simcha.
(Based on the kavana that the Baal Hatanya wrote in his siddur to have when spilling the makkos on Pesach. Since he generally did not include kavanos, this one exception must be meant to be accessible to all.)“The negative side must be directed to the kelipos”
Yes, clearly this is accessible to all.
Any obsession is unhealthy, but being a fan of something is usually fine. Think of this like sports or foodies. Some healthy insight of conversation is fine.
Rather than just focussing on what you enjoy, consider asking them to explain what makes for a better wine. Try to learn a bit, to appreciate this from a torah perspective. Hashem gave us these gifts, let’s see if we can channel them. I have often found that showing that I am interested in what others are interested in, will open them up to things that I may want to share.
If they only the discussion on Shabbos, that too is a mitsvah. They are saving their best and most expensive drinks to drink kle-kavod Shabbos.
If they drink during the week, as the goyim do, you have good reason to be annoyed.
People who have alcohol abuse problems don’t talk about alcohol, they just drink it. So there’s really no issue here.
It’s like war vs. diplomacy. The fighting starts when the talking stops.
People keep a conversation going by talking about things that aren’t very important. If they’re talking about alcohol at the table, alcohol is serving the purpose of being an appropriate form of small talk for the occasion. Men usually prefer talking about drinks over food because food is typically homemade, which means that any positive or negative statement made about it is an evaluation of the skills of the person who did the cooking. When people react to a bottle, a positive reaction is a compliment to good taste, but a negative reaction still isn’t personal enough to be insulting.
Adam Harishon sinned by drinking wine, according to some view, so we say lechaim that it should bring us life for both worlds.
“Nonpolitical”, yes. It is accessible to all. What do you think is so difficult about directing the negative aspect of alcohol to negative things? That is what we have brains for.
calling it as i see it.
i encourage to talk about it at the table or with individuals during the week. just express in a nice way how you feel about it. one should be able to express his thoughts and feelings without fear. but it must be in a respectful way. not knocking them but rather just saying how you feel about it.There is a great discussion in Parshas Shemini among the rishonim about the ills of drinking.
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