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I would like to add a thread about Ahavas Yisroel and not judging others. It seems that so many of these threads have gone the way of judging one and other on various topics to the point of bringing down chumras and mesoros to prove that the other person is wrong for speaking to their wives, swimming with their wives, talking on the streets, etc., etc.
I would like to talk about ways we can show our Ahavas Yisroel by finding nice things to say and do to our fellow Jews instead of berating them and putting them down.
Any ideas?
Women are given Binah Yesairah, if people like you would post more often, then it might become contaigous.
Thanks for sharing that inspiring story.
there are tehillim posts here (thinking about someone else)
there is a site called seeyouonshabbos.com (that coincedentally my mother-in-law was talking about a min ago) to invite people that need shabbos meals
So what do you do if you invite someone(not yet known to you, but someone asked you to do this chessed) in need of a Shabbos meal, and that person turns out to be a truly obnoxious guest?
well seeyouonshabbos.com has reviews by other hosts and refrences for each guest
So what do you do if you invite someone(not yet known to you, but someone asked you to do this chessed) in need of a Shabbos meal, and that person turns out to be a truly obnoxious guest?
That is what my mother says is the true mitzva of Hachnasas Orchim. Over the years we’ve had a few shall we say interesting and obnoxious people come over, one comes every Yom Tov. And whenever we complain, my mother says that is mitzva of Hachnasas Orchim.
We love having guests over at our house but truth be told, the kind polite guests aren’t that hard to have over and do the mitzva with. It’s the obnoxious people that…let’s just say, Lefum Tzarah Agrah.
You don’t have to invite them again.
When you have young children, it’s not a given that you can teach them to tolerate obnoxious guests. We had a certain guest from whom my young daughter would become nauseous and couldn’t eat. We stopped having that guest.
I’m a big fan of mothers of school-age children doing chessed involving their children’s education, such as being class mother, helping out with school functions, etc. I think it shows kids what’s important to you.
“oomis, then you treat them as you would anyone else, and you pass another nisayon Hashem sets up for you. You still treat them with Ahavas Yisroel and set an example for them. Maybe they will learn something from you and that is why Hashem sent them to YOUR home. “
Believe me, we did. We treated this guest like all our guests, as if he were a choshuvah rov in our home, despite our noticing very odd and obnoxious behavior on his part. I am not going into it obviously, but the fellow was really a most disconcerting guest.
A friend of mind had a guest who was even worse, who kept criticizing the food (they did him a chessed as he was a total stranger to them and a friend had asked them to host him for a seder). He also argued with them repeatedly throughout the seder, criticizing the way they conducted it. I am sure they got HUGE brownie points for that night.
Sometimes having even nice people might also be hard to have on a given Shabbos or Yom Tov ( i.e., I am not feeling well, I ended up with more people than originally were supposed to show up, the nice people have specific dietary restrictions, etc.). This year was especially challenging for me, because I was recuperating from major surgery, but I always love to have company. So even though that pleasant company might not be so easy to have, nonetheless we DO have them, and graciously, too. But I have decided that lefum tz’ara agra or not, I do not need to be made to feel uncomfortable in my home. If someone acts in a way that insults me in my own home through clearly obnoxious behavior, I am probably not going to give that person a chance to do it a second time.
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