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Which are good and really help make a difference?
I’m having some trouble with my 9 year old boy. He’s becoming stubborn and defiant.
What has always helped me is to talk to someone that has good children and ask for an eitza. There are several people I have spoken to in the past and it has been tremendously helpful. The gist: change our attitude, accept and love him, it is probably a stage and temporary… it will pass… try to understand him, avoid head on collisions at all costs, be compasionate but firm, dan l’kaf zchus… respect… but it would be amazing if you can talk to a Rebbetzin or just someone that has worked on themselves and understands chinuch… etc.
Most importantly just in the middle of it drop everything and say a perek of Tehilim. It works! R. Brevda ztl said to say 121 and I have it memorized for such fun situations.:)
If you are asking the question you are a good parent… You should be matzliach!!
I recommend To Kindle a Soul by Rabbi Keleman.
also there is a Russian speaking Rav in E’Y that is the best. IMHO there is no one that explains the specifics (not only abstractions)like R. Asher Kushner… not sure if he also gives shiurim in Hebrew or if you are Hebrew speaking.
My wife and I found the book “Parenting with Love and Logic” to be very useful.
How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk.
For girls, my mother practically swears by “I’m not mad, I just hate you”
Love and Logic (Jim Fey) He has a whole system. You can sign up for his free emails.
I highly recommend the new parenting book by Rav Shalom Arush, the Garden of Education. I just finished it recently, but it’s really brilliant and compelling, and to the extent that I’ve applied it already, it does really seem to work.
My favorite is Make Me; Don’t Break Me, by R. Moshe Gans.
I recommend to speak with his rebbe or principal in yeshiva, they might have ideas of what works/doesn’t work with him.
Good luck on the most important/rewarding job in the world.
how abt polishing diamonds??
Books won’t listen to you if you yell. Calmly write a note if you can’t talk without shouting.
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