Abusive mitzvah recipient

It’s tough to extrapolate a general rule from a specific incident especially when a lot of the background is unknown. Having said that, I think the guiding principal behind the advice given in that shiur is to protect oneself from experiences that can dissuade one from performing such mitzvot down the road, r”l. But, it doesn’t necessarily mean that not receiving emotional reward for one’s efforts diminishes the mitzvah itself in any way. The ultimate reward for performing mitzvot isn’t necessarily doled out in this world.

Also, consider that sometimes the situation isn’t so cut and dry. Perhaps the unappreciative recipient of your kindness didn’t perceive the benefit of your actions.

I remember a comedy skit by Abbott & Costello in which Costello sees a Boy Scout help an elderly woman cross the street and in appreciation the woman gives the young man a coin (big money in those days). Figuring he’d found a way to earn some sorely needed income, he proceeds to drag an elderly woman across the street only to be rewarded with a clop on the head with an umbrella.

Im assuming u mean like chessed when u say mitzva. I dont think youre supposed to allow the person to take advantage of your kindenesss and let them walk all over you and abuse you. Also cud be you cant do a chessed for someone that doesnt appreciate it, (i assume abusing you especially.)

And protecting yourself is important as well. We have to be honest about where we are holding by and not go overboard with our avodah into situations that are too much and over the line, imbalance. Im not sure i know what the deal is with the tzedaka box but sounds weird.

I hear that. Just quoting a maharal (breishis) that says its assur to do a tovah for someone that doesnt recognize it (makir tov). I dont fully know the specifics but i do know he says this. I understand what you say about lots of people receiving chessed arent capable of processing hakaras hatov necessarily