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heeelp!! im sooo nervouse i am goin on my first date ever tonight and i am pppeetriified!!! i’ve been throwing up all day and am shaking away!! any one have any tips to calm me down…what sould i say when i see him?? hows it guna work…???
Haifa Girl i know you are tempted but please don’t.
You should check out all the hundreds of old threads regarding dating tips!!! Hatzlacha Rabbah 2 u!!
Are you going out with Mashiach please come? A shidduch right here in the coffee room, how wonderful! And don’t be nervous, I have a friend that threw up and fainted on the same date and he still didn’t say no, so what’s the worst you can possibly do
2Cute – First off, you have nothing to worry about because HaKadosh Baruch Hu runs the world. To calm down a little bit, I recommend getting some slight exercise (run/jog for a mile or so). When you see him just be nice and smile. He’s going to ask you questions about yourself, family, interests, etc. and you should do the same.
The most important thing to remember is not to worry. Hashem runs the world! You’re fine. Hatzlacha Rabbah!
I can relate (even though I was really calm for some reason) but its all going to be fine. jsut make sure to be yourself and relax. its his issue to make the talking flow not yours
First of all calm down. Listen to some relaxing music or run for a quick jog. Then realize that is the boy’s job to start start the conversation and think of topics.Just don’t give him one word answers. For example if he asks, “what do you do”? Don’t answer secretary and sit there quietly. Try to make his job easier by bringing up your own interesting comments, ideas..etc. Just be yourself and calm down. Take deep breaths and try to enjoy yourself. Try to relax and look relaxed. The boy is also usually nervous and if you look relaxed he will also loosen up. Do you have any brothers who can give you a practice run through? Right before the date say some Tehillim and think calm thoughts.
Have fun and good luck!
dont let him see that ur nervous and hopefully it will be fine. first dates are usually short
well you could talk about the earthquake…
For starters, you can ask what he likes to do with his free time
he will prob take u to a lounge order a sea breeze or a white russian instead of a diet coke and not only will u be calm, but the world will seem brighter too!!!
well now you can easily talk abt the earth quake
2 there are no strings attached u will go out and spend some time with a stranger for a couple hours and then u will come home , there is no pressure if it does not work out than at least u will have gained some experience and will be better prepared next time.
It can be daunting to date for the first time but there really is no pressure just relax and try to enjoy the night out, there is so much to talk about, friends, family, earthquake, just chat amicably and before you know it the date will be over.
2cute4u- dont be nervous. It’ll all be great!!! We’ll have some fun together then I’ll take you home. If we run out of topics maybe we can talkabout the CR???? I guess we’re in the same boat tonight….
if ur as cute as u think you are (assuming from your name) then ull be fine.
2CUTE4U, y aren’t u getting ready 4 the date?? It’s getting late!! Maybe you’re still at work, but if not, it’s a good idea for you to make sure you have everything ready. do your hair and makeup. This way you won’t be pressured last minute!!! Hatzlacha Rabbah!!! I’m sure everything will turn out great and you will see it was nothing to worry about in the first place! Conversations will come naturally! You don’t have to plan it out!
Adorable, maybe she’s “too” cute for him??? Just kidding!!!
Why do MPC and 2C4U seem to be the same character?
theyre not
How about a little empathy for your date? Think of him as a new friend, who is probably a little nervous and unsure of himself. Your job is to show some interest, ask a few questions, and make a stranger feel a little more comfortable.
how do you know he doesnt have a blackberry and posting here. if ur luba. then it might just be him. watch out. ask him what he was doing today!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s amazing to see that no matter how many date threads are started,wherE the girl or boy is nervous, everyone will have what to say when a new thread is started!!! I guess we all care about each other and wanna give some chizuk!! IT’S SO SPECIAL!!!
so r u finally getting ready???
Try thinking of your date like you’re going out with a new (female)friend. Pretend you’re meeting at your house and think of what you’d say as you’d be leaving. Try “glad to see you…how was your day? Etc..
adorable…i dont want to give away too many details but lets just say HE DOESNT HAVE INTERNET ACCEES WHERE HE IS NOW
At least now we know he is not in prison. B”H.
But there are not many places left, so if we’re guessing…. I’d say the bunkers in Afghanistan and Iraq are probably pretty poorly connected to the net, if at all. I’ve also heard that most of the Arab countries with uprisings have had internet turned off – Libya comes to mind….
It’s the boys responsibility to make conversation???
hatzlacha, please keep us updated
On my first date I said all “the wrong things”. I was so nervous! And I also told him that I was so nervous and that it was my first date! I changed my clothes up until the last minute and when he came to the door I wasn’t even ready! Not only that but when the shadchan called I told my mother to say I hated him! The wise shadchan asked what he did to warrant such a strong emotion and I realized it was my own nervousness that made the whole thing seem so awful. She arranged a second date and we have been married for more than two decades….Have fun!
squeak…I have a friend in the army in Afghanistan and he does have internet 😉
2cute, how’d it go? if u answer this, we know you survived B”H!!! but really, was it as horrifying as you thought????????
yeah Im waiting to hear how it went!!!!!
but do you like him at all? did you calm down during the date at all? do you think he was able to see the “real” you?
sorry to hear that im sure u will do better next time chin up.
oh no! sorry you felt that way! so now back to what someone said before. are you only traumatized because you were nervous and uncomfortable, or because it was really a bad date (if you really think about it, i doubt your answer will be the second one). but look at the bright side, if he wants to go out with you again, you don’t have to go through the “meeting process” again. you will have met him already, may take the edge off the nerves. and obv, if he wants to go out again, your nervousness did not matter to him, and it shows you he can see beyond it, to the special person you are. (but i’m just saying this as encouragement, cuz obv, i dunno what his thoughts are) and if it turns out that he is not the one, don’t be discouraged. whoever is bashert for you will like you for who you are, and nerves won’t get in the way of that. hatzlacha and keep us posted!
its probably not the best thing for your prospective shidduch and your whole matziv to hear a gagillion opinions in the CR. just saying- itll confuse you
did he say yes to going again? was he nervous too?
sorry to hear that im sure u will do better next time chin up.
Interesting. Never knew you were an exercise coach. 😉
(Is there even such a thing?)
2CUTE, IY”H the next one should go easily and well.
i know this may seem hard to believe, but i was always a little shy/reserved on a first date because i didnt wanna scare them with my full personality!!! and some dates would say no bec of it perhaps but i never got a no when i said was interested in the guy.
If your still so panicky and anxious perhaps ur not ready to date yet and u should take a little break and get to know urself, who u are and who u want to be and what ur looking for in a spouse.
best of luck
ps. im only 22 but my fiance is 28 and we both agree it was definitely worth the wait…:)))
mazal tov cshapiro! and right 2cute4u it wasn’t so bad!! i was also rlly nervous on my first date that it took me the whole DAY to get redy!!
I guess it’s too late now, but the worst thing is to not be yourself, it’s ok to be nervous, but still be yourself.
I remember when I was dating a girl her first time, she was very not herself, ruined everything. You HAVE to be youself!
If you need any advice don’t hesitate to ask, there
is tons of collective (*even uncollective) experience here at the CR.
(btw BMG guys have access to internet as do other yeshiva guys unfortunately)
*V’hamevin Yovin
Bein hasdorim. I think we were roommates last year when I was in yeshiva… Are you going back to bmg this coming year??? I’m going to Israel!!! Maybe well see each other again there!
I remember my first time I was nervous to mess something up so I didn’t really say anything. I didn’t even realize that you are supposed to talk to the girl when you are driving in the car. When I was in shul the next day her father asked me why I didn’t talk to his daughter in the car, I said I wasn’t sure if it was tznius and also wanted to save something to say for the lounge. I say you should give it another shot no matter what because chances are both of you were nervous.
Cshapiro,
Worth the wait??
You’re 22! Hello!!!!
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