A Humorous Item

good one!

reasons y some men have dogs and not wives

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog’s parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, If I died, would you get

another dog??

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

And last, but not least:

12. Try locking your wife and dog up in a box for an hour and then let them out. honestly which one is happy to see u?

teen, nice!

basyisroel – whatever you’re high on, i want some of it! jk- they just came too quickly

BS”D

A representative from D**s Em** (a disgusting organization that tries to convince yeshiva bochurim to fry out) visited a major yeshiva once to try to recruit freiers.

He approached one seemingly quiet bochur and spewed out his nonsense. The bochur responded: “Why should I fry out? Besides everything else, we have yichus and our family has been frum all the way through from the days of the Rishonim!”

The menuval recruiter answered: “And what if your family were thieves, swindlers and murderers going back to the days of the Rishoinim?”

Without the bochur missing a beat he said: “In that case, I’d already be frei!”

basyisroel and teen: all good jokes.$

OK this is a funny story that happened to me a few days ago.

I was at the pediatrician’s office with my son (who is 11 months old). We heard the pediatrician’s voice coming over the loudspeaker. I turned to my son and asked “Who is that?” and he said “G-d!” I was laughing so hard.

BS”D

Here is one that happened to my father years ago (reminds me of the Dell service jokes).

An Indian man approached my father when he was on line at a big chain hardware store and asked him “Where is the acid?”

My father, who doesn’t look or dress like he knows his way around a hardware store (he sure does though), said something like “You should ask someone who works here, but what kind of acid are you looking for?”

The man replied: “The acid, I want to go out, the acid”

My father pointed out the EXIT…

haha sjs and itzik those were both great

once were on family

a couple of years ago my sister (who was then about 6-7) was learning about lech lcha in school. her teacher made everyone in the class pick one thing they would take with them if they had to leave thier home. my sister said “i would take the key so that i could get back in when i come back”

nice 1 teen

asdfghjkl-thanx!

Ames, I don’t think he knew what he was saying – he doesnt really speak yet 🙂 He does have great comedic timing!

Itzik, thanks for the laugh. It was so funny.

Bas Yisroel, keep’ em coming.

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this guy has just been spewing the good ones out 😛

im jk but seriously everyone the jokes azre really putting me in a better mood. thanx

asdfghjkl: how about poiuytrewq or mnbvcxz?

asdfghjkl: i don’t think poiuytrewq was taken yet, or was it.$

guess what qwerty-there is, and hes been a member for a month-check it out http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/profile/poiuytrewq

coke not pepsi: ha funny he/she must be scared to post or something!!!

qwertyuiop: got a friend/admirer!!!

26 Things To Do While Your In The Elevator

1) When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the

shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and

go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the buttons for other people, but push the

wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they

know what floor you’re on.

5) Hold the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend.

After awhile, let the doors close and say, “Hi Greg. How’s your day

been?”

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up,

then scream, “That’s mine!”

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8) Move your desk in to the lift and whenever someone gets on, ask

if they have an appointment.

9) Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they’d like to play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if

they hear something ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency

procedures and exit with the passengers.

12) Ask, “Did you feel that?”

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay. Don’t

panic, they open up again.”

15) Swat at flies that don’t exist.

16) Tell people that you can see their aura.

17) Call out, “Group hug!” then enforce it.

18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering

“Shut up, all of you, just shut up!”

19) Crack open your briefcase or handbag, and while peering inside,

ask, “Got enough air in there?”

20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,

without getting off.

21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror,

“You’re one of THEM!” and back away slowly.

22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other

passengers.

23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25) Grinning, stare at another passenger for a while, and then

announce, “I have new socks on.”

26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the

other passengers, “This is my personal space.”

HAHAHAHA ive heard them before but they still crack me up lol

That was too funny- Loved it!! 🙂 Thanx for the ideas..

thank yous to coke not pepsi,teen, anonymisss, beacon , & my dear friend qwertyuiop!!!!

qwertyuiop: your welcome!!!!

asdfghjkl, I always wondered where these weird pple get their ideas from. It must be from YWCR!

areivim – it was the joke of the day on the home page

by the way everyone, check out the new joke of the day.