Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › A fellow Jew owes me money- what should I do?
- This topic has 28 replies, 16 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 4 months ago by WolfishMusings.
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June 25, 2015 3:07 am at 3:07 am #615900newbeeMember
Its around $2,000 and he admits he can pay it back to me, but he is trying to start a business or something and needs every penny of capital he currently has to get it up and running. It has currently been over 6 months since the time that he said he would originally pay it back, but says he will soon be able to pay me out of the profits he is making- oppose to out of the capital he currently has. I dont urgently need the money right now, B”h, but can use it.
What do you think is the right thing to do? We did not make an halachic time he has to pay me back, so I dont know if I can even demand it.
June 25, 2015 4:08 am at 4:08 am #1088953JosephParticipantTake him to beis din. The dayanim will decide the halacha as it applies to the situation.
June 25, 2015 4:38 am at 4:38 am #1088954newbeeMemberThat will cost money. And I dont know if I want to cause him the emotional discomfort and time of going to beis din. Maybe the right thing to do is just give him more time, but I want to get opinions.
June 25, 2015 4:46 am at 4:46 am #1088955Little FroggieParticipantThere’s no issur in extending more time. If you don’t need it, I’d think it’s gaining more schar, lending money to one to be able to stand on his own feet.
June 25, 2015 9:10 am at 9:10 am #1088956TheGoqParticipantBut what happens if his new venture is a flop?
June 25, 2015 11:59 am at 11:59 am #1088957zahavasdadParticipantEven if you get a Din Torah, there is still no way to enforce collection of the debt
June 25, 2015 12:39 pm at 12:39 pm #1088958☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantWe did not make an halachic time he has to pay me back, so I dont know if I can even demand it.
I don’t know if we apply “stam halva’ah shloshim yom”, but certainly he can’t push it off indefinitely. In fact, you wrote that it’s six months since he said he’d pay it back.
I agree with Goq. Get it while he has it, unless your intention was to take on a big risk. From the little you’ve written, this doesn’t pass the smell test.
ZD, bais din can allow going to court to enforce its psak.
June 25, 2015 1:47 pm at 1:47 pm #1088959gavra_at_workParticipantTake a Mashkon? Do you even need Bais Din for that (if he agrees, which it sounds like he might, and even if not, Avid Inish Dina D’Nafshei B’Makom P’saidah).
June 25, 2015 2:02 pm at 2:02 pm #1088960zahavasdadParticipantEven if you win in small claims court, it can be hard to collect a small debt.
June 25, 2015 2:58 pm at 2:58 pm #1088961feivelParticipantI assume this is your friend and you want to deal with him as such. And that you don’t want the money to cause animosity between you.
If I’m right then your main consideration is how to do that. You can probably get the money now by forcibly insisting on your rights, and you would be “in the right” to do so.
I would suggest deciding if you are willing to risk possibly losing the money for the sake of friendship and helping a fellow Yid. If so then forget about the money for now. Consider it gone. Talk to him. Tell him you really need the money but you see he needs it even more. So keep the money for now but please return it as soon as you can.
June 25, 2015 3:09 pm at 3:09 pm #1088962TheGoqParticipantThe op did not state why the money was lent but it certainly wasn’t for the business venture that the borrower is involved in now he should have to pay it back before he is allowed to use it for another purpose that was not originally stated.
June 25, 2015 3:32 pm at 3:32 pm #1088963newbeeMemberHe is saying he cant go to a doctor even or buy enough food because he needs all the money for business. I feel really guilty.
June 25, 2015 4:15 pm at 4:15 pm #1088964☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantHe is saying he cant go to a doctor even or buy enough food because he needs all the money for business. I feel really guilty.
I do not like the sound of it. You should not feel guilty. It sounds like his priorities are wrong, or he’s scamming you.
June 25, 2015 4:25 pm at 4:25 pm #1088965cent_centParticipantWhat if you set something up where he could pay you back slowly? Maybe 150-200 a month or so. He might be able to do that and it might work for both of you.
June 25, 2015 5:14 pm at 5:14 pm #1088966DikDukDuckParticipantIf a fellow Jew loaned you $2000 and you were supposed to pay him back six months ago you sound like the type who would have payed him back six months ago.
I suppose if something comes up and you urgently need $2000, guilt him into giving it back?
June 25, 2015 5:23 pm at 5:23 pm #1088967☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantI suppose if something comes up and you urgently need $2000, guilt him into giving it back?
So a guy meets Moshe Reichmann z”l at a chasunah and asks him for a $50,000 loan. Before he gets a chance to respond, the guy adds, “Don’t worry, as soon as you need it, let me know, and I’ll pay you back”.
June 25, 2015 5:27 pm at 5:27 pm #1088968gavra_at_workParticipantnewbee – Have you asked him for a Mashkon, like his Menorah or Shabbos Leichter? That will certainly give incentive to pay back.
June 25, 2015 6:40 pm at 6:40 pm #1088969WolfishMusingsParticipantnewbee – Have you asked him for a Mashkon, like his Menorah or Shabbos Leichter? That will certainly give incentive to pay back.
I’m not certain what that will solve.
If he’s being dishonest and simply doesn’t want to pay, then I doubt he’s going to give a mashkon.
If he’s being honest and wants to pay but lacks the funds to do so, then what good will it do to deprive him of his Menora or Shabbos candelabra?
The Wolf
June 25, 2015 7:42 pm at 7:42 pm #1088970ExcellenceParticipantThe Chofetz Chaim.
He gives a parable of two brothers sitting at a table with their father. Suddenly one brother reaches over and takes the other’s plate. Rather than add wood to the fire, the brother goes to the father at the head of the table.
Father, you saw what my brother did to me. I’m it would upset you to see us dispute which is why I am asking you to quietly reimburse me.
The father was so happy, he said not only would he give a new plate of food, he would give an even better one.
June 25, 2015 9:36 pm at 9:36 pm #1088971flatbusherParticipantI don’t know why you are making an issue. If you don’t need the money, and he said he would pay him back, so let him pay when he can. If you need the money now, tell him you need it now and hope he complies.
June 26, 2015 12:04 am at 12:04 am #1088972newbeeMemberThere is something you should know, I trust him. He is not trying to cheat me.
I said I could use the money. But I think you are right, I am going to leave it be. I could never take his menorah, that seems so wrong to do to anyone, let alone a friend. It would not even be productive.
June 26, 2015 2:04 am at 2:04 am #1088973TheGoqParticipantTrue friends pay back their debts on time, trust can and often is broken.
June 26, 2015 3:13 am at 3:13 am #1088974WolfishMusingsParticipantThere is something you should know, I trust him. He is not trying to cheat me.
I said I could use the money. But I think you are right, I am going to leave it be. I could never take his menorah, that seems so wrong to do to anyone, let alone a friend. It would not even be productive.
That fine that you’re willing to extend the loan for him.
However, I would probably get a written payment schedule from him. If you’re comfortable with it, give him X number of months as a grace period and then a gradual repayment schedule. Something like (for example):
Dec 1, 2015: $400
Mar 1, 2016: $400
Jun 1, 2016: $400
Sep 1, 2016: $400
Dec 1, 2016: $400
(Of course, adjust the dates and amounts per payment to meet the needs of yourself and your friend).
I think it will do both of you a world of service to have clear expectations on when repayment is to be expected. Leaving it vague allows him to say “Oh, I’ll try another venture, he doesn’t need the money back yet…”
The Wolf
June 26, 2015 6:57 pm at 6:57 pm #1088975karlbenmarxParticipantgive him more time, its ossur medairoisa to ask him for it more than you have already.
June 26, 2015 7:42 pm at 7:42 pm #1088976WolfishMusingsParticipantgive him more time, its ossur medairoisa to ask him for it more than you have already.
Considering he has the right, if the loan is due, to actually summon him to Bais Din, I find it hard to understand how simply asking him outside of Bais Din would be prohibited.
Please explain.
The Wolf
June 28, 2015 4:14 am at 4:14 am #1088978newbeeMemberWolfishMusings: thats a great idea, thanks. It does not need to be that amount by those dates, but the concept.
karlbenmarx: please explain.
June 28, 2015 7:35 am at 7:35 am #1088979shmoolik 1Participanthave him sign a pruzbul so you can collect after shmita even outside of Israel
June 28, 2015 2:37 pm at 2:37 pm #1088980Letakein GirlParticipantKarl,
Wait, what?
June 28, 2015 6:55 pm at 6:55 pm #1088981WolfishMusingsParticipantWolfishMusings: thats a great idea, thanks.
You’re welcome.
It does not need to be that amount by those dates, but the concept.
Well, that’s why I said:
(Of course, adjust the dates and amounts per payment to meet the needs of yourself and your friend)
The point, however, is that there should be a firm date and amount that he has to pay back. If left as a vague “whenever you have it,” you’re far less likely to see it again.
The Wolf
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