1 in 10 girls will not get married

I think they are using a false scare tactic to try to raise awareness of what the age gap is all about. I do not believe the numbers are anywhere close to 1 in 10. They know it. And they have absolutely zero evidence that it is 1 in 10. They are making a gross overestimization based on faulty numbers. (Granting that there is a certain percent. But much less than 10%.)

AZ will be here eventually to defend the 1 in 10 number and he will use fuzzy math that has no basis in reality.

1 in 10 seems like a lot! Where are the stats from?

I never saw it, but I’d like to believe it’s “…will CHOOSE not to marry”.

I think we’re given choices and we sometimes prefer not to choose from amongst what’s available and offered

That is likely only if 10% of the boys are disappearing. This sometimes happens such as in wars (a big problem in Europe in the 20th century) – but not likely in our community. It could be many boys will decide to be “gay” (common among secular Jews, not among our community). It could be that boys are more likely than girls to go “off the derekh” – no evidence of that. It could be that Baalei Teuvah and Geirim are more likely to be female than male – but again, no evidence of that.

It could that both genders are “spoiled” and will likely postpone marriage until they have the economic means to support themselves in the style to which they were accustomed – so marriage age will increase. If that occurs there will be less pressure on our schools since there will be more parnassah and fewer children – but there is no sign of that happening (when in happens you’ll notice schools closing for lack of students, tuition falling, etc.).

All young people have a “shidduch crisis” which lasts until they get married. That has always been the case. The only one who really had an insoluable problem with Adam ha-Rishon (it require divine intervention to solve his shidduch crisis). Being worried about getting married is part of growing up – like pimples or having physical changes or suddently realizing the grownups think you’re an adult. THere’s really no hiddush here.

Akuperma,

Not only if the boys are disappearing, also if there are 10% more girls entering the shidduch market each year, which would be true based on a certain percentage of population growth and average higher age gap of males over females marrying each other.

Much of this is because too many boys don’t meet the females’ standards (wanting to “earn”) and too many females’ parents don’t meet the males’ standards (kollel support / dira). Fix these problems and most of the crisis will go away.

I think it shows a lack of bitachon. How many women have I heard lament that the men just aren’t committing???

Frankly, it’s time for some introspection.

It just can’t be that the entire male population has the problem.

These statistics also breed hopelessness and may cause some to give up. That is not our way.

There is a problem. The issue is their overstatement and gross over-estimization.

Please advise: where can one see ‘the advertisement’ discussed above?

Some girls don’t want to get married.

N.G -“Some girls don’t want to get married.”

I agree but with a specification. They want to get married to what they decided through their peers and family – what they should look for. They keep waiting for that guy “that they deserve”. They keep waiting and waiting until their middle age, but lo & behold – all of a sudden they can’t have kids anymore.

So now the middle age guy who hasn’t gottten married yet, can’t marry them because he has a Chiyuv to get married and have kids.

So yes – “1 in 10 girls will not get married”, if not more or less. And no Org. that exists will stop this. You might actually have to implement my suggestions in my topic of “Who wants to be a Tzadaikes like Rus” to put a dent in this fact.

mommamia22-“These statistics also breed hopelessness and may cause some to give up. That is not our way.”

Facing reality by identifying the issues and addressing them accordingly should not breed hopelessness so long as we do something about it.

N.G-“It’s up to G-d if 1 in 10 girls will not get married.DON’T LOOK AT STATS.”

There is always the question of where bitachon ends and hishtadlus begins. If these stats are accurate- and it makes sense that it is, then it should be our achrayus to address it.

Who knows, maybe there are hidden benefits in men marrying at 21. Learning in E.Y., which has become a given, might not be beneficial for all bochurim.

99% of statistics are made up on the spot.

Actually, it’s 84.7%.

The Wolf

Health, aside from the valid objections which I raised on that thread, your idea would throw single women above a certain age under the bus.

squeak: It’s also lashon nekia. ????? ??? ????? ?????

How I love strong, hard numbers that mean something!

I feel, having seen this a few times over, that many girls have a very definite idea of the guy they want to marry, and when they go out with a boy they feel there must be some sort of ‘chemistry’ there. What is chemistry??? I finished chemistry when I left school! When I was dating, I had my ‘top-ten’ list (if you haven’t read Dating Secrets, go read it now!) and knew that if I liked the guy and felt I could talk to him easily, that was enough to warrant another date. The third guy I met (my husband) ticked off every single one of my top-ten points (and the book says if you can tick off five then you’re on to a good thing). We dated a total of seven times over ten days before we were engaged. If more girls would have this mentality things would be a lot easier. But a lot of girls I know are waiting for Mr Perfect with sparks in their eyes and feel they have to go out with a guy for at least a few weeks before they even think about is this who they want to marry. That’s not what dating is about! If someone, boy or girl, can get to ten dates and still not feel ready to make a commitment, there is something wrong with the way they are dating.

The Chassidim don’t seem to have a shidduch crisis, and I think that should tell us everything.

So the extra Chasidish boys can marry the extra Litvish girls.

Health:

“but I don’t see how this will solve anything if the problem is that there are more girls born than boys.”

I guess you still don’t understand.

The problem is NOT because there are more girls *born* than boys.

Notasheep:

It DOES tell us EVERYTHING. They marry at about the same age.

AZ -“Health: I guess you still don’t understand.”

Actually I do understand. And I never put down your idea that you created in “Nasi” -so why are you putting down mine?

I’m sorry that you can’t admit that your Org. won’t solve the problem. It might put a dent in it somewhat. Mine will pretty much close the gap.

DY – At a young age they can marry the same age, I don’t care about his project, but getting close to the age of Not being able to have kids -they should broaden their horizons alot!

Health – then tell the girls to date at age 20 instead of focusing on gaining ‘careers’ to support husbands in kollel! There are too many girls who want to finish college before they settle down.

“So the extra Chasidish boys can marry the extra Litvish girls.”

You may be on to something. Now we have to iron out the kinks:ie His shtreimel and beard, her hair 🙂

Health:

I addressed a comment you made which was both incorrect as well as a inaccurate representation of the age gap problem. I did not address anything you wrote on any other thread.

Notasheep: at the risk of repeating the same idea as nasuem. If there are 2200 girls and 2000 boys, then it don’t matter how much info one has before they date. They could even agree to marry w/o meeting- you can still be assured that 200 will be unpaired.

Please explain how finding out info prior to dating changes the 2200/2000 equation. Unless you simply don’t believe that equation.