By Rabbi Yair Hoffman for the Five Towns Jewish Times She was a heroine of rescue in Siberia, Russia – having saved her father Rav Avrohom Trop zt”l and numerous others in that cold and cruel climate.  Cruel in terms of the land and the people.  The full tale of this episode has yet to be written. Today, the 28th of Sivan (July 4th, 2021) marks the 17th yartzeit of Rebbitzen Pesha Leibowitz a”h, wife of Rav Henoch Leibowitz zt”l, the Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivas Chofetz Chaim, daughter of Moreinu HaRav Avrohom Trop zt”l and granddaughter of Rav Naftoli Trop zt”l.  Reb Avrohom was the one who printed the classic sefer, Chiddushei HaGranat. Rebbitzen Pesha Leibowitz herself was an extraordinary mechaneches in her own right, and taught thousands of Bnos Yisroel for many years for Rav Meir Levi zt”l who headed the Bais Yaakov that was to be renamed Bais Yaakov D’Rav Meir.  It is interesting that the Bais Yaakov D’Rav Meir Dinner is tonight – on the very day of her yahrtzeit. Rebbitzen Leibowitz was an extraordinary baalas chessed, who also assisted her husband in building many Mosdos of Torah. She also served as an aim haYeshiva, the mother to all of the Yeshiva’s Talmidim. Often, when an out-of-town Talmid took sick, she took that Talmid into her home and took care of him until he recovered. After my own surgery, I personally was a recipient of her warmth and kindness. She took it upon herself to support a specific family in Eretz Yisroel who had suffered tremendous yissurim completely. The family was related to her and the question arose whether one can give all one’s tzedakah to one family. Her husband, Rav Henoch posed the question to Rav Elyashiv zt”l approximately 30 years ago. Rav Elyashiv ruled that one can because of mibsarcha al tisalaim. Rav Shmuel Birnbaum zt”l said of Rebbitzen Leibowitz that she not only did chesed, but she was “a shtik chessed” in and of herself – in other words, she embodied the essence of chessed herself. After her grandfather had passed away at a young age, her father Rav Avrohom Trop zt”l took over the Yeshiva in Radin and was later the Karliner Rosh Yeshiva after he had arrived in America. During the war, Rav Avrohom Trop and his family were in Siberia, where the difficulties were extraordinary. She had befriended a widowed mother and looked after her two children after the widow had passed away. Rebbiten Pesha Leibowitz is sorely missed by the thousands of Talmidim that were close to her. In the merit of her Neshama, the author would like to present the following overview of Chessed. Chessed, and the love of it, forms the very blueprint of the world. Hashem is the essence of Chessed itself, and He created the world so that He can reward us for doing Mitzvos (Derech Hashem Chapter one). Thus, the Mitzvos involved in the performance of Chessed form a large part of the reason why Hashem created the world. Performing Chessed gives our life meaning. Since Chessed plays such a crucial role in life, it is important to understand what Chazal tell us about this most important subject. This article should be utilized to help inspire our daily Chessed, and to help us understand the

Collated by Rabbi Yair Hoffman for 5tjt.com Tonight, the tenth of Nissan, is the 13th yahrtzeit of Moreinu HaRav Henoch Leibowitz zt”l.  The Rosh HaYeshiva zt”l was one of the primary movers behind the idea of entering chinuch, and kiruv, in out-of-town communities.  He provided inspiration, guidance, and chizuk both to his own students and to others who have entered into that holy arena of Avodas Hashem. We no longer have that inspiration.  But what if there was a message, a kind of letter, or a series of letters that could provide such inspiration?  What if there was a step-by-step guide that could give us such chizuk and clarity of purpose? What follows is just such an item. It has been repurposed and slightly edited, to appear in letter form – from other sources. A sentence or two has been added here and there, but they are, in totality, the Rosh HaYeshiva’s own words.   Letter #1 Dear Reb _________, Sometimes, we can get depressed and we can lose focus as to our purpose and direction. But don’t let the yetzer hara get a foothold. Rather, you can gain chizuk from the fact that Jews across the nation have come to realize that in order to maintain Jewish identity, Jewish culture alone cannot substitute for what has been the life spring of our existence.   Jewish culture itself has a vague and empty form. It is without substantive religious content – which is what everyone needs. Torah has been a foundation of our existence. It has sustained us throughout the galus. And Jews everywhere have come to realize that to a certain extent. What you are doing is bringing them back to their heritage. There is general disappointment in secular ideals.  There is a realization that there is a higher and more forceful power.  It is clear that no scientific discipline has been devised that can elevate human character. Also, the Jewish identity, in that sense, has not been maintained and it is this realization that is behind the nationwide resurgence in yiddishkeit. People have found that with all the material acquisitions, with all the push-button conveniences, we have not found the happiness that we were so hotly pursuing. There must be something more.  There must exist something ever more meaningful to mankind. “Lo al halechem levado yishye haodom.” Man does not live by bread alone which includes within it every physical, material gain. No matter what sort of life one leads, there must be some sort of spiritual satisfaction. There is great disappointment with secular culture –  it does not fulfill human needs. Reb _______, Jews everywhere are searching and yearning for something meaningful and significant. This is why we have a resurgence to Yiddishkeit. This come back; looking to this culture which has given us eternity, which has given fulfillment, and that is still being pursued. This is what you must focus upon and tap into.   Of course, the course is rocky. We do not enough manpower to guide them properly. You have done so, however, ashrecha. [Rav] ACHL **** Letter #2 Dear Reb _________, How are you? Continuing along our previous letter, I just want to let you know that you are following the imprint established by my father zatzal, who had a very deep feeling of faith

By Rabbi Yair Hoffman THERE IS A VERSE in VaYikra the import of which has been little understood. The verse is velo sonu Ish es amiso – (VaYikra 25:17). The Mitzvah is generally called “Onaas Dvarim” or just plain “Onaah.” THE MAIN REASON The Sfas Emes explains that the main reason behind this Mitzvah is so that we will all have a sense of complete oneness as a people. Causing another pain was prohibited because it causes division within us as a people. THE SERIOUSNESS OF THE ISSUE There is an interesting debate between Rav Henoch Leibowitz zatzal and Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zatzal in regard to Pnina and Chana. Pnina realized that the reason Hashem was withholding children from Chana was because she was not davening to Hashem with the requisite intensity. She took it upon herself, leshaim shamayim, to help Chana intensify her prayers by teasing her that she had no children. Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zatzal (Sichos Mussar) points out that the notion of “what goes around comes around” (or the Middah keneged Middah) regarding causing someone else pain exists – even when the underlying intention is 100% proper. Rav Henoch Leibowitz zatzal held that it must be that Pnina was only 99.999% Lishma – but there was a subtle, infinitesimally small trace of improper motivation in Pnina’s actions. Regardless, we see how serious the issue of causing another pain actually is. RAV ELYASHIV ZATZAL’S RULING A question was once posed to Rav Elyashiv Zatzal: A man was not giving his wife a get. Is it permissible to try to get his parents to influence the son to give a get by threatening to expose an illegal activity that one of the parents was doing? The response from Rav Elyashiv was, “No.” There is no permission whatsoever to cause pain to another, no matter what his son is doing. BIBLICAL FIGURES SUFFERED The Midrash Rabbah (Bereishis 14:19) explains that Menashe, Yoseph’s son was punished for “finding” the goblet in Binyamin’s sack – even though he did so on his father’s instruction. He caused the Shvatim pain, they ripped their clothes in agony over the fate of Binyamin. The Midrash explains that Menashe’s portion of his inheritance was also ripped. Rachel Imeinu, stole the Teraphim of her father Lavan. Her intent, of course, was absolutely proper. She wished to wean her father off of his belief in worshipping idols. Yet the Zohar tells us (VaYeitzei 164b) that she did not merit to raise those whom she loved because she deprived her father of what he loved! EXAMPLES Examples of this violation include reminding a Ger of the actions of his fathers, or a Baal Teshuvah of his original behaviors or sins. Asking someone a question in a subject area where the person being asked does not know the subject well is also a violation of Onaah (See Rambam Hilchos Mechira 14:12). Similarly, inquiring the price of item where one has no intention at all of purchasing the item is also a violation of Onaah (See Bava Metziah 58b). EVEN THROUGH INACTION In discussing this Mitzvah, Rav Yechiel Michel Stern cites the Chikrei Laiv (YD Vol. III #80) that this prohibition could also be violated through inaction. For example, if someone recites a Mishebarach for a number of people but purposefully

By Rabbi Yair Hoffman for 5tjt.com This article is dedicated in honor of the 15th yahrtzeit of Rav Henoch Liebowtz zatzal which is tonight – the 10th of Nissan.   Every year at this time, we negate the Chometz.  But what is it, exactly, that we are doing? Our great Roshei Yeshiva have always taught us that we must look at everything that happens in the world through a Torah lens.  And yet, sometimes, we just plow through life and the fulfillment of our precious Torah rituals, customs, and Tefilos, without really thinking about things. This is a mistake. We need to wonder and ponder about our Tefilos and customs too.  And we need to look at them through the eyes of the Rishonim and Acharonim.  As we say in davening, “Ki Haim Chayeinu” – for these constitute our lives.” THE FOUR OPINIONS Perhaps, somewhat shockingly, there actually seem to be four different understandings of this particular term – “the Bitul of the Chometz.” And, if we further explore these varied opinions we can gain a deeper insight and more appreciation of what it is. TOSFOS An unscientific straw poll indicated that most people believe that the declaration of Bitul is essentially declaring it ownerless – or hefker.  This, in fact, is the opinion of Tosfos (Psachim 2a “Mide’oraisah) and the Rosh (1:9). THE RAMBAN The Ramban, however, challenges the view of Tosfos on several grounds: If it is a mere declaration of ownerlessness (not sure if that is a word), then why did Chazal use the particular term bitul – negation and not use the term ownerlessness? (The Hebrew is less bulky – hefker). Whatever happened to the idea that ownerlessness declarations have to be done before three people? These declarations are done by oneself, alone and at home. Whereever do we ever find that the terminology of “shall be considered like the dust of the earth” is ever effective to declare something ownerless? Don’t we say that “Dvarim sh’b’laiv ainam dvarim – things left unsaid by mouth but said internally are invalid? The Gemorah (Psachim 7a) says that you can do it on Shabbos – and making something hefker on Shabbos is forbidden! The Ramban (basing himself on the Sifrei – lo yira-eh lecha – to you) concludes that the Bitul is a revelation,a gilui daas, that he does not care a twit about that Chometz he had owned previously. “It is nothing in my eyes – I don’t care about it!”  This, in essence, undoes the “the Torah made it as if it is back in his possession.” THE RAN – RABBEINU NISSIM The Ran’s view appears to be some sort of synthesis of the two aforementioned views.  He writes that the revelation that he cares not a twit – leads to an automatic reassessment of the ownership status and now places the said item of Chometz in a legal status of hefker – ownerlessness. RASHI AND THE RAMBAM And then there is the fourth view.  Both Rashi (Psachim 2a “b’bitul”) and the Rambam (Hilchos Chometz uMatzah 2:2) indicate that this negation is a form of destruction – tashbisu. There is, of course, much to explore here.  How do the Baalei Tosfos defend themselves against the Ran?  How do the Ramban and the Ran differ exactly? Why did’nt

By Rabbi Yair Hoffman for 5tjt.com We do it every year.  Negate the Chometz.  But what is it, exactly, that we are doing? Our great Roshei Yeshiva have always taught us that we must look at everything that happens in the world through a Torah lens.  This was a constant theme when I was in Yeshiva.  And yet, sometimes, we just plow through life and the fulfillment of our precious Torah rituals, customs, and Tefilos, without really thinking about things. This is a mistake.  We need to wonder and ponder about our Tefilos and customs too.  And we need to look at them through the eyes of the Rishonim and Acharonim.  As we say in davening, “Ki Haim Chayeinu” – for these constitute our lives.” THE FOUR OPINIONS Perhaps, somewhat shockingly, there actually seem to be four different understandings of this particular term – “the Bitul of the Chometz.” And, if we further explore these varied opinions we can gain a deeper insight and more appreciation of what it is. TOSFOS An unscientific straw poll indicated that most people believe that the declaration of Bitul is essentially declaring it ownerless – or hefker.  This, in fact, is the opinion of Tosfos (Psachim 2a “Mide’oraisah) and the Rosh (1:9). THE RAMBAN The Ramban, however, challenges the view of Tosfos on several grounds: If it is a mere declaration of ownerlessness (not sure if that is a word), then why did Chazal use the particular term bitul – negation and not use the term ownerlessness? (The Hebrew is less bulky – hefker). Whatever happened to the idea that ownerlessness declarations have to be done before three people? These declarations are done by oneself, alone and at home. Whereever do we ever find that the terminology of “shall be considered like the dust of the earth” is ever effective to declare something ownerless? Don’t we say that “Dvarim sh’b’laiv ainam dvarim – things left unsaid by mouth but said internally are invalid? The Gemorah (Psachim 7a) says that you can do it on Shabbos – and making something hefker on Shabbos is forbidden! The Ramban (basing himself on the Sifrei – lo yira-eh lecha – to you) concludes that the Bitul is a revelation,a gilui daas, that he does not care a twit about that Chometz he had owned previously. “It is nothing in my eyes – I don’t care about it!”  This, in essence, undoes the “the Torah made it as if it is back in his possession.” THE RAN – RABBEINU NISSIM The Ran’s view appears to be some sort of synthesis of the two aforementioned views.  He writes that the revelation that he cares not a twit – leads to an automatic reassessment of the ownership status and now places the said item of Chometz in a legal status of hefker – ownerlessness. RASHI AND THE RAMBAM And then there is the fourth view.  Both Rashi (Psachim 2a “b’bitul”) and the Rambam (Hilchos Chometz uMatzah 2:2) indicate that this negation is a form of destruction – tashbisu. There is, of course, much to explore here.  How do the Baalei Tosfos defend themselves against the Ran?  How do the Ramban and the Ran differ exactly? Why did’nt the Ramban and the Ran not agree to the suppositions of Rashi and the

By Rabbi Yair Hoffman for 5tjt.com The entire Five Towns and Queens community was in a state of shock over the sudden passing of a remarkable woman, Mrs. Alice Marks, of Cedarhurst.  The Hewlett Boulevard chapel was packed with overflowing crowds as well over one thousand people attended.  There were numerous Rabbonim and Roshei Yeshiva in attendance. Mrs. Marks was a very special woman who was beloved by so many people, in dozens of communities.  What follows is an attempt to explain who she was to those that did not fully know her.  It is merely but a glimpse. Alice Marks was a loving wife to her husband Michael, a loving mother to her children Jonathan, Doug, Shani and Sara, and a loving grandparent to bli ayin hara – numerous grandchildren.  All of them with remarkable Emunah, bitachon, and baalei chessed This was one important aspect of her, but there was far far more.  We never fully appreciate or know of the depths of tzidkus of people that surround us. Mrs. Marks hailed from Patchogue, Long Island – a community deep in the heart of Suffolk County.  She came from a home imbued with chessed and Jewish values.  She built on that foundation and achieved remarkable success.  Shlomo HaMelech tells us (Mishlei 14:1), “Chachmos nashim vansa baisah – the wisest of women [each one] built her home..”  This was certainly true of Mrs. Marks, who has numerous descendants all following the path of Torah. But what is also remarkably true is that not only did she build her own home – she built an entire Torah observant community – almost single-handedly.   She further built hundreds of Torah homes throughout the United States and Israel.  There is a reason that an entire Yeshiva and Kollel in Queens, New York, Rabbinical Seminary of America, Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim of Queens, attended the levaya en masse – this past Wednesday morning. Mrs. Marks led that Torah stable home that hosted, hosted and hosted.  Her hachnasas orchim was legendary, and not only legendary, but kiruv-producing.  The Marks home created facts on the ground. Some of those “facts on the ground” became leaders of Torah institutions who made it their life’s goal that no one should ever be denied a Torah education.  Their path in life was influenced by the inspirational Shabbos and Yom Tov hospitality of Mrs. Marks.  Her children’s friends would come over for Shabbos meals, for yomim tovim, from all of Long Island.  She and her husband were one of the powers behind the Hebrew Academy of Suffolk County – a day school that produced a surprisingly high percentage of Torah observant graduates.  At the Hebrew Academy of Nassau County, where her four children attended, there were often a dozen or more high school students that would come for Shabbos at her home. It was at this time, where she developed Yeshiva-level hashkafos.  She attended a shiur about the halachos of hair-covering – and she took off.  She attended high level shiurim in Kashrus, Shabbos, Amirah l’Akum – and meticulously and steadfastly observed halachos. Mrs. Marks had a heart of gold and was a baalas chessed extra-ordinaire.  She would loan out whatever she could to others, and offered help and advice to others in so many ways. And she brought so many other

“Lech lecha – Go forth from your land – your birthplace  – and the house of your father – to the land that I will show you (Bereshis 12:1)” [Please note that some details of the true story that follows have been changed.]  Dating is not a simple matter.  Finding a place to go is also not simple.  Nor is the cost of it all.  There is the car rental, the tolls, the parking and the cost of whatever it is that one wants to do. Hershel made a calculation that this date he needed to go all out.  The shadchan said that it had to be a bit more fun than the last two dates.  He decided to take Tzila to exhilarating Manhattan.  And now he found the perfect place.  Right in the middle of Times Square, there was a Glow-In-The-Dark Laser Tag arena.  The advertisement said that it was 2,500 square feet of exhilarating fun. Perfect. And the price was attractive as well.  It was $7 for fifteen minutes for walk-in customers.  If they spent an hour, the whole thing for both of then would only be $56.  Afterward, he could even take her to the very expensive La Marais, a French kosher steakhouse under the OU with rock-solid reviews. Indeed, Senator Joe Lieberman himself said about La Marais, “Where else would a non-Jewish Portuguese immigrant open a French bistro, hire an Irish-Italian Catholic as its executive chef, and create one of the finest and most successful kosher restaurants in the United States?” Hershel rented the car.  Paid for parking near Times Square and the two began to look for the Laser TAG arena.  They walked and walked and, contrary to his nature, he asked for directions.  The first two people he asked never heard of it.  Finally, the third person he asked said, “Straight, straight, and afterward straight.  It is on the right. Can’t miss it.” He still could not find it.  Hershel was at a complete loss.  Does this place actually exist?  Did it go out of business?  But he just saw it three nights ago!  How could it be? Finally, he decided to use WAZE on his phone.  And then he was in for a shock.  Times Square Laser Tag did, indeed, exist!  But it was 1666.6 miles away!  It was located in Katy, Texas (30 miles due west from Houston). Why, oh why, did it have to be so far away? *** “Lech lecha – Go forth from your land – your birthplace  – and the house of your father – to the land that I will show you (Bereshis 12:1).  Here too, we can pose the question – why did it have to be so far away? The simple answer is that Avrohom Avinu was destined for greatness. His future was to father a great nation that would change the world.  Rabbo Ovadiah Bartenura explains that everyone is influenced by his or her surroundings, whether it is from his or her country or land, or their place of birth, or even their more immediate surroundings.  All of these influences, writes Rav Ovadiah Bartenura can be equally bad. Rav Henoch Leibowitz zatzal, however, asks a question:  He points out that  Avrohom Avinu had recognized Hashem at the age of three.  He broke the Avodah

By Rabbi Yair Hoffman for 5tjt.com Rav Henoch Leibowitz zatzal used to say that one should always try to look at events past and events present through a Torah lens.  He also referred to current events in the news.  This article contains two thoughts pertaining to a tragic incident that has recently come up in the news once again. In 2021, the fate of Gabby Petito gripped the nation.  Her body was found and was eventually positively identified.  But what about her murderer, Brian Laundrie?  Where did he go?  Eventually, his partial remains were found in Florida’s Carleton Reserve, but also not yet positively identified At the time Laundrie’s remains were found, authorities had also found something else. They had found his suicide note.  It was a note that was kept hidden and only recently released. Why the delay?  It would seem that the authorities released its delay because it contained the preposterous and delusional claim that Laundrie had killed her as a “mercy killing” because she was in such dire pain. We can assume that the authorities had felt the pain was so raw, that it was not an appropriate time to release its existence. If this is the case, then why release it at all?  Or why did they release it without an accompanying caveat  that did not let Laundrie get in the last word?  We can assume that they were perhaps concerned about legal issues and or lawsuits. FIRST THOUGHT – PROMOTION OF FALSEHOOD The Torah tells us something that is not found in any other Mitzvah.  Midvar sheker tirchak – stay away from a false matter, not only forbids lying – but it tells us an additional warning – to distance ourselves from lies and falsehood. We can be inspired to this through an incident involving Rav Avrohom Pam zt”l.  He once entered a taxicab along with a talmid, and gave the address to the driver.  The driver then proceeded to begin the drive.  Rav Pam, however, noticed that the driver had not yet turned on the meter.  Rav Pam gently reminded him to turn on the meter. “Don’t worry, Rabbi.,” responded the driver.  “I will take care of you.” Rav Pam did not understand the response.  The driver elaborated, “the money will come to me. But do not worry, I will charge you significantly less than the meter rate would have charged.” Rav Pam was very concerned that he might be involved in an act of deception. Realizing that the driver was either planning on stealing from either the Taxi and Limousine Commission or the owner of the taxi medallion that rented by the job and not by teh day,  Rav Pam took an assertive, yet gentle tone with the driver.    He told the driver that the meter must be turned on, but that the driver will receive a significant tip that was beyond the fair that he had quoted him. Rav Pam was a tzaddik who was careful regarding every word and every action.  He so much wished to avoid this act of deception, that he was willing to pay double the price just to avoid this.  True, he could have availed himself of other options – but he did not and instead stood up for the cause of emes. [For those interested, this

by Rabbi Yair Hoffman for 5tjt.com Reb Naftali Weinberg in his, “Rav Chaim Kanievsky on Shidduchim” had posed a question to Maran Sar HaTorah about whether one may ask a Shadchan to return the shadchanus if the engagement was broken. Rav Chaim zatzal ruled that one may not. Broken engagements are never a pleasant item of discussion, and there are often stories about various repercussions of someone who is still angry about the cancellation of the nuptials.  On account of this, it is the custom in Israel for both parties to sign documents of mutual forgiveness. When dealing with dating someone with a broken engagement, there is no question that one should investigate the reason completely, and make sure that a Shtar Mechila, (a document that states both parties completely forgive each other) was both received and given by both parties.  This was the custom in all of Poland and in many other countries as well (See Sridei Aish Vol. I #91).  The Responsa Sefer Dvar Yehoshua CM Vol. III #5 writes that oral forgiveness does not work – it requires either two witnesses or a written document. Rav Henoch Leibowitz zatzal, the Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim was very strict on this matter too.  Rav Moshe Feinstein zatzal (Even HoAizer Vol. IV #85) writes regarding a case of a broken engagement that a Shtar Mechila is necessary.  It should be noted that a Cherem was placed upon a person who breaks a Shidduch, that is why it is such a serious issue.  Most poskim hold that merely receiving oral forgiveness is not sufficient (Dvar Yehoshua Vol, III CM #5).  Some require a full Bais Din saying Machul lach, Machul Lach, Machul Lach – three times. The Vilna Gaon wrote that it is preferable to get married and then divorced rather than break up a Shidduch (if it had tnaim).  This does not apply nowadays, but the concept of a broken shidduch is serious.  Below we find the nusach of a Shtar Mechila as formulated by Rav Moshe Shternbuch Shlita of the EIda HaChareidis in Yerushalayim. It should be signed as soon as possible.   There is, of course, no deadline as to when the form is signed, and it is often done many years later.  However, it is good and proper to do it as soon as possible. The author can be reached at [email protected]. To read more of Rav Chaim’s Torah go to orchotyosher.org *** When Rav Chaim zatzal’s Rebbitzen had passed away, Rav Chaim established mussar shiurim in his Sefer Orchos Yosher in her memory. There are now some 800 shiurim throughout eretz yisroel.  If anyone would like to assist in ensuring the continuation of these shiurim, one may contact the author who can put anyone interested in touch with thoe organizing the shiurim.*** THE CHOSSON אני החתום מטה החתן __________  בן ____________ מוחל לכלה ________ בת _________ על עלבוני בלב שלם ומסכים לפוטרה מכל חיוב ושעבוד שבעולם. ובאתי עה”ח יום _______________ ________ בן _______ THE KALLAH אני החתומה מטה הכלה __________  בת ____________ מוחלת לחתן ________ בן _________ על עלבוני בלב שלם ומסכימה לפוטרו מכל חיוב ושעבוד שבעולם. ובאתי עה”ח יום _______________ ________ בת _______

By Rabbi Yair Hoffman for 5tjt.com 12,000 pairs of Rabbi Akiva’s students died during the period of Sefirah.  Why?  Because they did not speak to each other with the respect that was due to them. Every Yom Tov and every period of time in the Jewish calendar has its own special Avodah in which we can grow.  When Chazal point out the reason for their passing away to us, perhaps they are indicating that the growth we should eb working on during this period is to avoid verbal abuse and to respect others. THE VERSE THERE IS A VERSE in VaYikra the import of which has been little understood. The verse is velo sonu Ish es amiso – (VaYikra 25:17). The Mitzvah is generally called “Onaas Dvarim” or just plain “Onaah.” THE MAIN REASON The Sfas Emes explains that the main reason behind this Mitzvah is so that we will all have a sense of complete oneness as a people. Causing another pain was prohibited because it causes division within us as a people. **There is a very special Kallah that needs assistance, if anyone can help.** https://thechesedfund.com/zechornilah/kallahwithnoresources THE SERIOUSNESS OF THE ISSUE There is an interesting debate between Rav Henoch Leibowitz zatzal and Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zatzal in regard to Pnina and Chana. Pnina realized that the reason Hashem was withholding children from Chana was because she was not davening to Hashem with the requisite intensity. She took it upon herself, leshaim shamayim, to help Chana intensify her prayers by teasing her that she had no children. Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zatzal (Sichos Mussar) points out that the notion of “what goes around comes around” (or the Middah keneged Middah) regarding causing someone else pain exists – even when the underlying intention is 100% proper. Rav Henoch Leibowitz zatzal held that it must be that Pnina was only 99.999% Lishma – but there was a subtle, infinitesimally small trace of improper motivation in Pnina’s actions. Regardless, we see how serious the issue of causing another pain actually is. RAV ELYASHIV ZATZAL’S RULING A question was once posed to Rav Elyashiv Zatzal: A man was not giving his wife a get. Is it permissible to try to get his parents to influence the son to give a get by threatening to expose an illegal activity that one of the parents was doing? The response from Rav Elyashiv was, “No.” There is no permission whatsoever to cause pain to another, no matter what his son is doing. BIBLICAL FIGURES SUFFERED The Midrash Rabbah (Bereishis 84:20) explains that Menashe, Yoseph’s son was punished for “finding” the goblet in Binyamin’s sack – even though he did so on his father’s instruction. He caused the Shvatim pain, they ripped their clothes in agony over the fate of Binyamin. The Midrash explains that Menashe’s portion of his inheritance was also ripped. Rachel Imeinu, stole the Teraphim of her father Lavan. Her intent, of course, was absolutely proper. She wished to wean her father off of his belief in worshipping idols. Yet the Zohar tells us (VaYeitzei 164b) that she did not merit to raise those whom she loved because she deprived her father of what he loved! EXAMPLES Examples of this violation include reminding a Ger of the actions of his fathers, or a Baal Teshuvah of his

By Rabbi Yair Hoffman for 5tjt.com Rabbi Dov Ber Ganz a”h, has passed away after a debilitating illness.  Rabbi Ganz was the dean of the Hebrew Academy of Suffolk County, an Orthodox Jewish elementary school in Long Island, New York, where he educated hundreds and hundreds of students who went on to other Yeshivos and schools and have become exemplary observant Jews. **Please help an almanah with yesomim whose parked car was smashed and she has no means of transportation** https://thechesedfund.com/zechornilah/almanahwithyesomimwhosecarwassmashed FUNERAL DETAILS The funeral took place today, Monday April 18th at 2 pm at Cargo Building 75 in JFK Airport, 75 North Hangar Road,  Queens, NY 11420. Kevurah will be in Eretz Yisroel, at approximately 1 pm on Tuesday on Har Hazeisim.  Ask for directions to the Nadvorna / Leifer Ohel. Because of Rabbi Ganz a”h’s remarkable outreach activities, there are “facts on the ground” – thousands of frum people across the nation and in Eretz Yisroel. Rav Berish Ganz a”h was born in Scranton, PA and was named after his grandfather, Rav Beirish Horowitz from Unter Vishva.  His grandfather was a close chossid of Rav Mendel of Vishva, and was the shochet there.  He was a famous baal menagain and was known for composing the famous niggun for “tzavei tzavei, tzavei tzavei, tzavei yeshuas Yaakov.” Rav Berish Ganz a”h studied under Rav Henoch Leibowitz zatzal at the Rabbinical Seminary of America (known as the Chofetz Chaim Yeshiva) for many years, and became a close Talmid. Reb Beirish travelled with the Yeshiva in 1966 and was appointed to be the one in charge of bringing the Yeshiva’s weekly shailos to Rav Elyashiv zatzal. He once quoted his Rebbe zatzal in the name of Rav Yisroel Salanter’s that people doing kiruv should also place particular attention on the leaders of the communities, for thereby, more people will be impacted by this.  He applied this concept to his outreach efforts in Suffolk County and later in Cambridge. Rabbi Ganz served as the dean of the Hebrew Academy from 1981 to 2001.  He also authored several books on Talmudic ethical principles and human insights. CAMBRIDGE After his work in Suffolk County, Rabbi Ganz and his wife Rebecca moved to Cambridge, Massachusetts where they founded the Jewish Heritage Initiative of Cambridge (JHI) and where he engaged in Kiruv with gifted university students at both Harvard and MIT. The impact they had in Cambridge was profound.  One student, who has since completed advanced degrees in Mathematics from Harvard University wrote, “I heard that a Shiur was organized at Harvard and decided to attend. I was immediately impressed by the warm smile of Rav Ganz. The shiur began, and I have to say that, despite my intellectual background, it was the first time I experienced such an intellectual challenge…. Rav Ganz, was always smiling. He would debate our ideas (on the meaning of a text) without assuming he was more right than us; it was an intellectual fight for the Truth.” That young man has since moved to Israel, and he continued to learn weekly with Rabbi Ganz over the Internet via Skype. Another talmid of Rabbi Ganz a”h, who later earned a PHD from MIT wrote, “His entrepreneurial initiative to spread Jewish ethical values, morality and Torah learning has had an immediate and dramatic

By Rabbi Yair Hoffman for 5TJT.com No. This headline is not a Henny Youngman joke. Rather, it was a question that was posed recently to two of the outstanding Gedolei haDor – Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein Shlita and Rav Chaim Kanievsky Shlita. The background and the question, were as follows: There was a couple that was married and had one child. On account of an unspecified illness of the mother, the couple had to divorce. And the wife had now approached her single friend. “I know you well. I trust you. I am concerned for my daughter, and I know that you would take care of her very well – putting her best interests in mind always. This is not always the case with other step-parents. Please, I beg you. Will you date my ex?” THREE OR FOUR UNDERLYING ISSUES The friend was concerned that if she did go ahead with this shidduch – her friend would eventually be upset with her. Although, it seems that her concern would be the loss of friendship – there are also two other concerns. One concern is that her going through with such a marriage could in all probability lead to a negation of the Mitzvah of v’Ahavta larayacha kamocha. The second concern is that the marriage would actively cause her friend untold tza’ar, anguish. This might be a violation of lo sonu ish es amiso, a verse in VaYikra (25:17). The Mitzvah is generally called “Onaas Dvarim” or just plain “Onaah.” As an interesting aside, the Sfas Emes explains that the main reason behind this prohibition is so that we will all have a sense of complete oneness as a people. Causing another pain was prohibited because it causes division within us as a people. RAV ZILBERSTEIN’S TENTATIVE RESPONSE The friend of the ex-wife posed the question to Rav Yitzchok Zilberstein Shlita.  His tentative response was that although her hesitation was correct – there is an effective workaround. What was it?  The ex-wife should place her guarantee of not being angry in writing rather than having it merely said to her orally. RAV ZILBERSTEIN’S PROOFS Rav Zilberstein cited a Merkeves HaMishna (Hilchos Geirushin 6:3) regarding the idea of a heter meah rabbonim for a woman whose psychological state was such that she is halachically incapable of receiving a get.  He states that a messenger should be appointed to give her a Get and when she is healthy once again, he can give it to her.  He is then able to marry someone else with a heter meah Rabbonim. Rabbi Yaakov Lorberbaum asks a question.  He asks, “How it is possible that the shliach can give the get when even the husband himself would not have been able to give it to her?”  He therefore questions the entire mechanism. The answer, writes Rav Zilberstein, is that the messenger is appointed in writing.  This author’s understanding of Rav Zilberstein is that the writing imbues the shliach with extra abilities.  Indeed, there are many Roshei Yeshiva that have explained that a “writing” in a sense carries its own thought process – da’as. THE WORKAROUND Rabbi Yitzchok Zilberstein initially attempted to use this concept as a workaround for the woman.  If the ex-wife gave it to her friend in writing, it could carry with it “its own

By Rabbi Yair Hoffman One of my Rebbeim, Rav Dovid Kviat zatzal, was a student of Rav Chatzkel Levenstein zatzal. Rav Levenstein  had a different explanation of the words in Shmoneh Esreh, “Mechalkel Chaim b’Chessed.”  Rather than explaining it as “through His Midah of Chessed He sustains the world,” or “He sustains us with more than mere mecaroni – buth with steak,” Rav Levenstein explained it that Chessed is what sustains the world. Doing Chessed can do remarkable things – especially for the safety of our brethren in Eretz Yisroel and fighting in Gaza. Chessed, and the love of it, forms the very blueprint of the world. Hashem is the essence of Chessed itself, and He created the world so that He can reward us for doing Mitzvos (Derech Hashem Chapter one). Thus, the Mitzvos involved in the performance of Chessed form a large part of the reason why Hashem created the world. Performing Chessed gives our life meaning. Since Chessed plays such a crucial role in life, it is important to understand what Chazal tell us about this most important subject. This article should be utilized to help inspire our daily Chessed, and to help us understand the significance of it. SOURCE What is the source for the Mitzvah of performing Chessed? The Gemorah (Bava Kamma 100a) identifies a posuk in Shmos (18:20) as the source, “And inform them of the path that they should walk..” The Rambam in Sefer HaMitzvos (Shoresh 2) cites this as a biblical requirement. There is another Pasuk which one fulfill when performing Chessed, “V’ahavta l’rayacha kamocha. – Love thy neighbor as yourself.” The Rambam in Hilchos Aveilus (14:1) cites this as a biblical fulfillment, although the Rabbis provided illustrations as to how to fulfill it.. FURTHER SOURCES AND THREE OBLIGATIONS OF CHESSED 1. WALKING IN HIS WAYS a. The major obligation of Chessed stems from walking in Hashem’s ways. The Gemorah (Sotah 14a) discusses the pasuk which says, “Acharei Hashem Elokecha taylechu – you shall walk after Hashem your G-d (Dvarim 13:5).” The Gemorah poses a question. It asks, “How is it possible to physically walk after the Divine Presence?” b. The Gemorah answers that it means to follow after the Chessed traits, kavyachol, of Hashem. Just as He provides for the unclothed, so too must you provide clothing to them. The Sefer Mitzvos Gedolos states that this verse is part of the related Pasuk of “v’halachta b’drachav – and you shall walk in his ways.” In other words, the verse of Acharei Hashem Elokecha Taylechu is referencing the verse of v’halachta b’drachav. It could very well be that the aforementioned verse in Shmos (18:20) is also referencing this. 2. UNDERSTANDING THAT CHESSED CONNECTS US TO HASHEM a. The Gemorah in Shabbos (133b) discusses another entirely different pasuk, “Zeh Kaili V’anveihu..” The Gemorah in Shabbos understands it to mean that we must attempt to liken ourselves to Him. Just as He is kind and merciful, so too must you be kind and merciful. Rav Yitzchok Isaac Sherr zatzal explains (Leket Sichos Mussar p.76) that the pasuk of “Zeh Kaili v’Anveihu” teaches us the obligation of feeling and understanding that the performance of Chessed brings us closer to Hashem. This is on account of the Gemorah’s understanding of the word “Anvehu” to mean “Ani

By Rabbi Yair Hoffman for 5tjt.com Yoseph, a Baal Teshuvah who was studying in Kollel, had a somewhat strained relationship with his non-observant father.  At a bris for Yoseph’s son, the Mashgiach of the Yeshiva approached his father and said, “I just wanted to let you know that your son has a brilliant mind, and the work that he is doing in his study of Talmud and legal codes is equivalent and beyond post-doctoral work at the most prestigious university in the country.. And he named his son after your grandfather!  Wow, you must be so proud of him.” Later, Yoseph approached the Mashgiach and said, “Rebbe, you have no idea of the impact of what you said to my father months ago.  There has been a complete turn-around in our relationship, aside from kindling within him a strong desire and respect for Torah.  Thank you so much.” Saying complimentary words, especially heartfelt ones, is one of the biggest chassadim that one can do for another person. Rav Chatzkel Levenstein zt”l (1:5) writes that when a person says a few kind words to another, all he has invested are a few words, but the return on the investment is untold reward: “Hashem provides for him with this act an abundant flow of bracha with His full and overflowing hand.” [Author’s suggested edit gedusha instead of kedusha – holy.] DEPTH IN SHAS AND DEPTH IN STUDYING MIDOS Boruch Hashem, we are a Torah nation, and many of us study Gemorah day and night – as we all should.  The great Rav Yisroel Salanter zt”l used to say that just as there is profound depth in a sugya in the Talmud, there is also profound depth in the study of Mussar and Middos.  Indeed, the Mishna Brurah (1:12) writes of the obligation to study Mussar every day.  With both of these ideas in mind, we present the following thoughts of our great Masters on Chessed. Chessed, and the love of it, forms the very blueprint of the world. Hashem is the essence of Chessed itself, and He created the world so that He can reward us for doing Mitzvos (Derech Hashem Chapter one). Thus, the Mitzvos involved in the performance of Chessed form a large part of the reason why Hashem created the world. Performing Chessed gives our life meaning. Since Chessed plays such a crucial role in life, it is important to understand what Chazal tell us about this most important subject. This article should be utilized to help inspire our daily Chessed, and to help us understand the significance of it. SOURCE   What is the source for the Mitzvah of performing Chessed? The Gemorah (Bava Kamma 100a) identifies a posuk in Shmos (18:20) as the source, “And inform them of the path that they should walk..” The Rambam in Sefer HaMitzvos (Shoresh 2) cites this as a biblical requirement. There is another Pasuk which one fulfill when performing Chessed, “V’ahavta l’rayacha kamocha. – Love thy neighbor as yourself.” The Rambam in Hilchos Aveilus (14:1) cites this as a biblical fulfillment, although the Rabbis provided illustrations as to how to fulfill it.. FURTHER SOURCES AND THREE OBLIGATIONS OF CHESSED   WALKING IN HIS WAYS The major obligation of Chessed stems from walking in Hashem’s ways. The Gemorah (Sotah 14a) discusses

by Rabbi Yair Hoffman for 5tjt.com It is a question that seems to be on the mind of a number of people. And people of all ages and genders seem to be asking it. What is the halacha regarding using one’s own hair for a shaitel? TO HELP A NEEDY HACHNASAS KALLAH CASE PLEASE CLICK HERE https://thechesedfund.com/zechornilah/weddingoftwobaaleiteshuva A BRIEF HISTORY Let’s first take a look at the history of wigs before we get to our specific question. The human hair wig as we know it first appeared in ancient times, then virtually disappeared after the fall of Rome in 473 CE, and then reappeared in the last six centuries. We find that the Egyptians wore wigs to protect against the hot sun. They attached the wigs to their head using beeswax and resin. The Assyrians, Greeks and Romans also used wigs. The term “wig”, by the way, is short for “periwig”, a term that developed only in the past three centuries. THE MISHNA The Mishna in Shabbos (6:5) also attests to the use of wigs, and the Gemorah later on clearly shows that it was done for beauty. Both Rashi and the Meiri explain that it was worn so that “she would appear to be a baalas s’ar – having [much] hair.” Rashi in Bechoros (7b) seems to add more information. He writes (D”H nehenim b’saarah), “The women who had little hair used to attach (or tie) the hair of other women to their hair and this is called peah nachris.”  Nowadays, this is called an “extension.” THE WIG IN HALACHA The Ramah (75:3) discusses the halacha of reciting the Shma in front of a woman who is wearing a wig. The Ramah writes that it is permitted to recite it. The Mishna Brurah explains that it is because he holds that this, the wig, is not considered “s’ar b’isha ervah. – the hair of a woman is forbidden.” There is a view that is of the opinion that wigs are forbidden because they are still considered “the hair of a women which is ervah.” Most Ashkenazic Poskim (See Igros Moshe Even HaEzer Vol. II #12) and families, however, followed the lenient opinion regarding wigs. Indeed, the Kaf haChaim (OC 75:19), Mishpetai Uziel (EH Mahadurah Tanina #74), and Yaskil Avdi (Vol. VII EH #16), all prominent Sefardi Poskim also permit the wig. SEFARDIC POSKIM WHO FORBID THE WIG On the other hand, Rav Chaim Palaji (Ruach Chaim EH 21) and Rav Ovadiah Yoseph zatzal (Yabia Omer V EH 5:4), however, follow the stringent view forbidding wigs for Sefardic women.  His children as well also forbid the Sheitel. RAV CHAIM KANIEVSKY SHLITA Rav Chaim Kanievsky Shlita stated that the Chazon Ish’s wife wore a wig (cited in Meir Oz Vol. III page 829) as did his mother. He also ruled that if a Sefardi studied in an Ashkenazic Yeshiva he may allow his wife to wear a wig, otherwise, she should cover her hair with a kerchief. All this, of course, relates to a wig with another woman’s hair, but what about one’s own hair? TWO VIEWS IN THE MISHNA BRURAH The Mishna Brurah (75:15) cites two views in this regard. The first view he cites is that of Rav Yoseph Ben Meir Teumim (1727-1793), author of the Pri Magadim. The