nonikname- If you are saying you believe in Hashem, you are going no where near OTD! Seriously!! Now listen, you must be a teen going through some seriously tough times, but I will tell you this FROM FIRST HAND EXPERIANCE and from watching my friends go throguh it too, you will not move forward unless YOU choose to. Hashem has mapped out a plan for you, but it is your choice to decide which path you will take to get there. Yes, your right, Hashem seems like he is missing, but that is the whole idea of Hester Panim. Hashem put us next to Har sinai to get that tanglible feeling of light, of kedusha, or Hashem’s prescense. But Hashem warned us there would come a dark Galus, but He said you will have this to hold onto. even in our personal Galus, when we see only dark, there is light. And that is the Torah. that is tefilah. That is tehillim. If you don’t beleive Hashem is helping you (and every breath you take doens’t prove it to you) just try davening once more. Give it one more shot. And this time put your whole heart and soul into it. Then you can come back to me and tell me that Hashem isn’t listening and doens’t care about you. But until you my dear friend do your own hishtadlus, you cannot say that!!
TAOM- I need an update from you my dear friend!! How are you doing at home? hows the mishpacha!!