Thanks 127, I appreciate your response and can definitely understand that 🙂 Now here goes:
TAOM: I’m so happy that you’re back 🙂 And also that things are back to normal, though I’d be happier if things were better than normal….I agree with mod 127 that we’d be just as happy without specifics and I personally wouldn’t feel the least bit slighted if you left me hanging without details. Just let us know when things are okay next time cuz I was a wee bit worried.
As for your other post (writing it here cuz its easier) I looked up that thread you were referring to about your self control, and was a little spooked out cuz that could have very easily been written by me a few years back. Like seriously word for word….especially about thinking things during davening. I remember a talk I had with my principal about this and she said there was a graduate who came crying to her shortly after her wedding that as she was walking down to the chuppa on the holiest hour and day of her life she had the most inappropriate thoughts and it ruined the rest of her night. This idea really freaked me out as I don’t want that happening to me! I don’t think anyone does. You’ll see it will become so much easier and your sensitivities that were so desensitized by what you’ve seen will come back eventually. It will take a long time, and it may seem forever until they do, but it will happen! I’m glad your working on this, and you’re starting earlier than when I did, so by the time you reach my ripe old age this will all be a thing of the past. Wishing you lots of luck till then, but you’re gonna get there!