I’m married for 20 years longer than you are. Take it from me, it’s not worth giving it a second thought. Smile and pay for the cleaning lady. No guy in the whole world will ever fully understand why a wife needs to have a cleaning lady. It doesn’t matter if you or I understand it. when the solution to your sholom bayis is as simple as saying “sure, hire a cleaning lady if you need one” take that solution with both hands and thank H’ for making your sholom bayis solution so simple to achieve. To fight for otherwise is just being an idiot. Stop being an idiot my friend.
Regarding all the other arguments you find yourself having with your wife and the resulting resentments, understand this: Your either going to adopt the idea that your wife is always right no matter what and have sholom bayis or your going to think that somehow your opinion is more right than hers and suffer hell in your marriage because of it. It’s as simple as that. Your wife is always right. The sooner you get used to that the sooner the 2 of you will be happy and be stress free.
But what if she’s wrong??? So what? If your opinion happens to be more right than hers once in a while and you go with her opinion anyway, probably the world won’t come to an end and the resulting sholom bayis and happy, healthy home will more than make up for the occasional lack of choosing your more right opinion in that specific case if it should ever happen.
Besides, women have binah yesairah and usually happen to be right. When they’re not, they usually figure it out on their own and eventually say so. So in the end, the best outcome will play out ok anyways.