Reply To: Perspective From OTD

To everyone who read my post and/or responded, I thank you for taking the time to consider what I have to say, whether you agree with me or not. I was at work all day and didn’t have a chance to revisit the thread until now.

To those of you who asked in various forms, I did not go OTD because my mother was too strict. However I do think that the way she reacted pushed me further away much faster. At the time, I felt that my choices were Everything or Nothing, and I chose Nothing. Later, when my anger faded, and I started thinking more seriously about what I actually believed, I made the decision that despite the very serious sacrifices involved (it was financially and socially advantageous to remain frum or at least fake it), religion of any kind was not for me. That’s the short version and I prefer not to go into it in more detail.

I think that many teens who don’t exactly fit the mold end up pushed into being completely not frum when all they really want is to experiment a little and find themselves or be slightly less frum than their parents. I am not suggesting that anyone compromise their beliefs. But which belief does wearing a leather rather than a velvet kippa violate? As Burnt Steak said: “When something is kept very rigid when it gets bumped it is more likely to shatter than if it was a bit looser.” That’s exactly it.