Shopping – I don’t know about that. I am what might be described as modern orthodox machmir (I hate labels), but I have never been turned off by these questioning threads, nor has my husband, to whom I sometimes show the controversial ones, to see his take on them. If one has emunah, seeing these opinions expressed should not shake it – UNLESS – that person has never really believed in his/her heart that it is the EMES.
In the last six months, my family has been through a health tribulation that I do not wish on ANYONE, much less on the beautiful, wonderful people who are experiencing it firsthand. To add to it, I personally have my very own cyber bully, a former friend who unfortunately is mentally ill and has targeted me with her obsessive delusions. I am mentioning these very challenging and unpleasant things, specifically to make the point that real emunah is not only when things are going well, or when we have no questions.
Emunah that is part of our neshamos remains with us to HELP us through the challenges and difficulties that inevitably come into our lives. It also helps us to remain faithful to Hashem (hence the word emunah, which is from the same root as ne’eman – to be faithful), even in the face of questions that do not appear to have logical answers. Faith is not necessarily based in logic (though sometimes it is). Faith is exactly that, faith. We either have it, ro we do not. And when we are worried that we might not be strong in it, we DO have to take steps to strengthen ourselves. I guess that TAOM feels this is the best step, but I feel bad about that.
TAOM – Hashem Knows what we deserve and what we do not. Believe me, He listens to you ALL the time, and you DO deserve that. How about forgiving yourself? Hashem forgives everyone who is sincere in doing teshuva when needed. Is He not the Father of us all? Parental love is the strongest tie that binds. Never underestimate what YOU mean to Hashem.