there are a lot of people who shouldn’t be in chinuch and are. if one is in chinuch for their own gratification they will not be giving every student what is best for them. that is unfair. Anyone who needs a role model of how to do chinuch properly should read the biography of R’ Shlomo Friefeld. His way of dealing with struggling students amazes me and warms my heart every time I read about it.
Superme, I hope there is someone out there who you will find that will see you for the amazing person you are, support and encourage you and will make you feel understood.