The sad reality is that the men use the get as leverage against the women and the women in turn use the kids as leverage against the men. all sides run to the beis din they feel will be most sympathetic to their cause, and not necessarily because it is a beis din with a reputation for expertise in halacha (this is true in monetary cases as well). the concept of toanim further escalates the situation into a circus where nobody is interested in the halacha, just sticking it to the other party and drags the case on for as long as they can, to further stick it to the other party. as a tzibbur we made our bed, now we have to lay in it, as filthy as it is.
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