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tralala- thats what were here for! im sorry ur struggling! but you sound like you have so much determination in u from all that you went through AND OVERCAME!!!! you know how they say life is like a mountain? i like to think of it as more of a lot of hills when it comes to D. bolus hills and pump hills and shidduchim hills and carb counting hills and weight hills….. you get over one hill and there are still so many more! i sometimes feel like “sitting down” and stop climbing (we all feel that way sometimes no?) but we all have to remember that once we get over one hill, its worth it!!!! life is a climb but you get a great view from the top of all your hills!!!!