I’d be one to agree with PBA. I had 2 relationships that never materialized, and in both cases, I felt I did everything “right.” (Parnassa-bound, sweet, attentive, generous, funny, passionate about HaShem and Torah, respectful and helpful to their families, etc.) I felt that the women I was with were meshugenneh (one did go to a shrink and had hurtful tendencies, and essentially played “blame the victim” as a means of deflecting blame from herself, and the other was davka on meds and saw a psychiatrist). But, alas, these weren’t bashert. They weren’t meant to be. And in retrospect, I thank HaShem they failed. I’m happier single now than I was with those beasts.
In Jewish history, women are often the source or cause of men’s downfall and misfortune. Look at Adam and Chava. Lot and his wicked daughters. Romance results in Yaakov Avinu becoming a laborer for 14 years in total. Shimshon and Delilah (he wasn’t such a gibor when it came to resisting feminine wiles). Jezebel was a wicked queen who brought idolatry upon the Jewish people. Shlomo haMelech’s women led him away from G-d. Maacah married Rehoboam, Shlomo’s eldest son, and when Abiyah succees Rehoboam, Maacah the Queen Mother brings avodah zarah into the mix, notably worship of Baal and Asherah. No wonder why Hazal tell men to avoid women, even their own wives.
Abusive partners sadly are abundant, both abusive women and men, although I find that abusive women tend to be more into psychological and emotional manipulation and subterfuge when compared to men.