econjew: I don’t want to sound unsympathetic, but on the Yomim Tovim that might be an issue. It’s great on Yom Kippur, but I have seen precedent where Rabbonim have told people who are emotional about it to not go to Yizkor on Yom Tov because it creates a serious Shailah of a lack of Simchas Yom Tov.
BD”E and I am truly sorry that you have this pain. You should see only Simchos in the future.