You can pick up an Artscroll and begin on your own. There was never an Issur for an individual to pick up a Sefer and learn. There is no Issur Histaklus on Torah.
One of the 48 things necessary for Kinyan Hatorah is Emunas Chachamim. Don’t start by judging if it makes sense; start by trying to learn and understand why it makes sense. The logic in Gemara is fluid at times, and the assumptions change on a dime.
Also, when something is gleaned from a Pasuk it might not seem obvious to you how that is seen from the Pasuk. That’s the way it is for most of us and we just move on and take it for granted that for the Tanaim and Amoraim there was a method to it. Even the Ammoraim would hardly deduce Halachos from a Pasuk on their own. They usually do backward engineering to figure out where the Tanna got it from. And according to many, the Tannaim themselves actually knew the Halacha before gleaning it from the Pasuk. They learned the Halacha along with its Makor, from their Rebbe.
By the way, did you ever read Rav Hirsh’s Horeb? He gives an understanding into the reasoning of Mitzvos while from the Gemara you’ll see how the Halacha got to where it is. I’m not clear which one you want more.