Regardless of make or year, all
units known as “human beings”
are being
recalled by the Manufacturer.
This is due to a malfunction in
the original
prototype units code named
“Adam” and “Eve” resulting in the
reproduction of
the same defect in all subsequent
units. This defect is technically
termed,
“Serious Internal Non-morality,”
but more commonly known as
“SIN”. The
defect is categorized as “critical”.
Some of the symptoms of the SIN
defect:
[a] Loss of direction
Lack of peace and joy
[c] Depression
[d] Foul vocal emissions
[e] Selfishness
[f] Ingratitude
[g] Fearfulness
[h] Rebellion
Jealousy
The Manufacturer is providing
factory authorized repair service
free of
charge to correct the SIN defect.
The Repair Technician, Hashem,
has most gen erously offered to
bear the
entire burden of the staggering
cost of these repairs. To repeat,
there is
no fee required.
The number to call in for repair
in all areas is: PRAYER.
Once connected, please upload
the burden of SIN through the
REPENTANCE
procedure. Next, download
ATONEMENT from the Repair
Technician, Hashem,
into the heart component of the
human unit.. No matter how big
or small the
SIN defect is, Hashem will replace
the SIN and present “obsession”
on: din,
uncertainty, debating, and
memorizing countless minute
details with:
[a] Love
Joy
[c] Peace
[d] Kindness
[e] Goodness
[f] Faithfulness
[g] Gentleness
[h] Patience
Self-control
Please see the user manual,
TORAH, for further details on the
use of these
fixes. In particular all repaired
units are referred to parsha
Eikev,
specifically where Moshe asks his
simple question of the Jewish
people and
the gives his own 6 ( really 10 )
sh ort and simple answers. As an
added
upgrade, the Manufacturer has
made available to all repaired
units a
facility enabling direct
monitoring and assistance from
the resident
Maintenance Technician, Hashem.
Repaired units need only make
Him welcome
and He will take up residence
with the repaired units.
WARNING: Continuing to operate
a human being unit without
corrections voids
the Manufacturer’s warranty,
exposes the unit to dangers and
problems too
numerous to list.
Thank you for your immediate
attention.
Please assist by notifying others
of this important recall notice.
Gemar Chasima Toiva