i hope for your sake and your children’s sake that all of your children will be clearheaded teenagers really.
because “nachas is not tied up only in returning to yiddishkeit” is a very very true statement.
the first step an OTD kid makes to return is very often being clean, sober, or whatever else they were doing that isn’t what a Jew should be doing. and the only way that that will become ‘the first step’ is if those close to him show him that he’s giving them NACHAS, even if it’s not necessarily the most yiddishe nachas you can think of.
on the other hand, if all you do is say ‘sorry joe, love you and all, but you’re still not religious -‘ it’s most probably going to be the end of his return journey before it really began. chas veshalom.