my parents and i have never really had a relationship… i feel really awkward hugging them or even saying how i love them. i know it sounds awful, but i cant help it!
It’s great that you’re working on the relationship, and it’s great that you realize that this isn’t a healthy way to relate with your parents. Therapy will be very helpful for you.
I imagine you do not want a repeat of these dynamics with your spouse and children. You may want to start therapy before this impacts your other relationships in ways you cannot see until much later.