The vast majority of women whose husbands are in kollel now do not “forgive’ their husbands the obligation to feed the family. To say that a woman with 5-6 kids (and more) is “mochel” her husband his obligation to feed his family is sophistry.
You are leveling a viscous, unsubstantiated charge, that the women aren’t willing partners in their husbands’ learning.
I’ll agree with DY. I know many women who work full time and are happy to support their (rather large) families. Whether that is due to Sem influence (read: Brainwashing) or not is truthfully irrelevant.
The bigger problem Halachicly is when such families get breaks from the Klal (read: Tuition) and are not on the level where they should be taking Tzedaka to continue learning. I will admit that in Lakewood (I believe) no one gets a break, so if you are learning there, go for it. It is a serious Gezailah Shaila if one can force others to support them via such tuition breaks, and certainly actual collecting of funds (Rabbi Hoffman had an article about this recently). Some should be allowed, others not, but certainly a Shailah must be asked.