Also, PBA: Happens to be, Hashem does punish people for things they can’t always easily control- that’s (one reason) why we women have to cover up :). But even putting that aside, the idea of apologizing, as I said above, really has nothing to do with the idea that “something happened that I can’t control so it’s still my fault.” It’s just about basic menschlichkeit and caring toward the person whom you harmed, albeit accidentally.
By the way, thanks for bringing this up- up until now, I’d just taken the whole “apologize no matter what” thing for granted- the opportunity to actually THINK about this and figure out WHY was actually really cool and enlightening. I still think I’m right :), but I do see where you’re coming from.