Ubi: cute how you misunderstood what mamele said. (not that some anonymous poster on this forum needs to be learned up).
She writes that shidduchim are redd to the chassidishe girls first BECAUSE they have the upper hand.
You interpert that to mean they have the upper hand BECAUSE they get redd first
sorry ubi
that’s not what mamales wrote and that’s not the facts on the ground..
for some reason you keep up mixing up the cause with the effect. who gets redd first (effect), is based on who has the upper hand (cause).
so why is it that by the chassidim the the girls have the upper hand and by the non chassidim the boys have the upper hand.
sure seems to be a numbers issue.
now the only issue is to figure out why
1. by the chassidim the numbers favor the girls and by the litvishe the numbers favor the boys
2. why this is a relatively new phenonmana. Until you are ready to deal with this issue, i won’t address them. If you take that to mean that i can’t explain it, that’s your (faulty) interpretation.
(the truth is that whether it’s a new phenomana or not is really not important. lets say 100 years ago the same shidduch crisis existed with 10% of girls not being able to get married, and nothing was done about it then. Does that mean that now nothing should be done about it if there are things that could be done???????
But it does seem to be a newish phenomena and there is a good reason why that is so.)
mamale: can you please enlighten us (re: the chassidishe world) at what age the girls enter shidduchim and at what age the boys enter shidduchim? (I’m being facetious. i think it’s pretty well known that both boys and girls enters shidduchim at around the same age.