I was a prospective ger and my motives were complicated.
1) Bible study like a typical guy in the South.
2) Internet search on Bible terms yields Aish haTorah which I regular read and which continues for years even now a little bit.
3) I leave the south and interact with Jews in business and social scenarios unlike my experience in the south.
2) and 3) get twisted and mixed up. Though I’m a goy; notions Aish.com Jew directed memes like ‘marry Jewish’ creep into my thinking.
4) I meet a Jewish girl I start crushing on.
5) I start weighing the Bible, Aish, etc., ‘believe in ridiculous or go to hell meme’ v. Judaism.
6) I renounce ridiculous.
7) I look to convert; but I’m confused myself what my motives are: is it for social ramification like possible employment and marriage prospects? Or is it because of the Torah?
8) Was I sincere about wanting to marry a nice Jewish girl. Probably. Was I sincere about kiddush haShem. Probably not.