MOFR, with all due respect – NO. Chemistry comes before. Real love comes after. She has been seeing this guy for a month, she should be feeling SOMEthing at this point. Yes, real, deeper feelings develop after marriage, but if there is nothing before, no excitement, no “can’t wait to marry the guy,” then she is potentially doing a disservice to the guy, if she gets engaged to him without having that emotional connection. Personally, I feel a month is a VERY short time to date someone, and she should tell him to slow down and get to know him a bit longer. That feeling MIGHT come with a little more time, but if not, why should he excitedly marry someone who is vey pareve about him? So many guys screw up the shidduch by getting too eager before the girl is ready, when just a few more weeks might make all the difference in the world. And ti works both ways. Sometimes a girl (or her mother) is being too pushy with a guy who is not ready. A month (for most of us) is way too soon to make a crucial decision to make a lifetime commitment. Better to wait, or move on. JMO. I know there are people here who will strongly disagree with me (and that’s fine), but I have seen too many marriages break up the first year because people rushed into something at the urging of friends or relatives, when they did not feel anything for the person they married other than “he/she is a nice person.”
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