I think that what MoraRach writes has a great deal of merit, if you will stop and think about it. Dating for tachlis should not be about a specific NUMBER of dates being the magic one.
I agree that there should be no specific number, but disagree that it should drag on for months and months. At a certain point, there’s more to lose than to gain by continuing. If someone can hide anger for ten dates, they can (and do, if necessary) hide it for twenty, thirty, forty etc. dates. No matter how many months, or even years, people date, it’s still not marriage.
Again, you hint at a higher divorce rate among the yeshivah crowd which uses shidduch dating than the more modern, who don’t, but it’s simply not true at all, to my observation.