I never said its because of “darned chareidim-” I’m just noting a religious trend that you refuse to believe exists.
I’m not sure why you told the buss story, but I’m sorry that happened to you today. Ahavas yisroel does not mean I have to accept every chumra and psak as correct- it means I have to respect people. I attack ideas with ideas, which is completely mutar and encouraged as part of milchamta d’torah -something folks around here could learn from, based on all the ad hominems going around.
The part of chareidi society I know from is the one that I greatly respect for their commitment to Torah and halachah, but also have some issues with in terms of rigidity, isolation from the world and disregard of secular studies. I’ve been stared at in certain places for wearing a blue shirt, even with a hat and enough Yiddish to fit in! There are shortcomings in every community- that’s just life. What makes the difference to Hashem is whether we acknowledge the bad parts and change, or ignore them. Chumros aren’t bad, but there is a culture around them of elitism and exclusion of dissidents.
And you should look at the last 100 years, because Judaism is mimetic- based down from parent to child, so I look at how recently it was practiced- not how it was many years ago because the experiential mesorah is only from those that are alive.