Nobody is criticizing her, she is being given a reality check. You are correct that the police is not an answer, and stopping her mom is beyond her, but you may know from other friends that even if you really believe you want help, it takes only 5 seconds to convince yourself that you probably over exaggerated the situation and it’s probably not quite as it sounds etc etc. Getting help means choosing the unknown and even people who get black eyes and broken bones will tell you that their present situation is still better than the unknown.
So how do you encourage someone not to remain complacent in a very unhealthy situation without sounding harsh? It’s a sensitivity. Not everyone can but we aren’t wrong to try.
I agree that a proudbyg is an unbelievable person, I am so impressed with everything I am reading and I too would love to offer my shabbos table. She sounds like she has options and she has her head on straight but I know LOTS of wonderful people like that who stuck with abusers for years and decades because there is always that fear of ‘making waves’ or upsetting the person you are working so hard to please.
Ohel is an anonymous call. It is not a plane ticket out of the house. Not wanting to make a first step even when it will bring no outward changes is an indication that there is a fear of change factor at play.
Most of these responses are encouraging you all to get help for all the right reasons. Calling them critics is very possibly a way to make it easier to disregard their advice.
I wish us all peace and strength and the ability to believe in ourselves enough to have our own best interests in mind. I am certainly not immune to this problem.