Aproudby, ah this post is making me cry! I wish for a minute we were not anonymous and I could invite you to spend shabbosim with my family. Unfortunately I can relate,more than I want to admit. I never talk about it to anyone, but my friends that I still have from elementary school sometimes see how close I am with my mother now and ask ” how did that happen?” My mother used to be very similar to yours, hitting me, throwing things at me, being my best friends one day and the next telling me she wishes I wasn’t born. The thing is.. She was depressed for a long time and suffered from anxiety. I’m not excusing it but she dealt with a lot of issues growing up and didn’t learn how to handle pressure etc and never got help for her depression until I was a bit older. My mother happens to be an amazing person and we are So close now. She is on meds and honestly since iV been married we haven’t really had fights or problems. My husband sometimes says that he can’t imagine the things I tell him about how it used to be because she is so different.
Ill tell you that I used to cry in my room and beg Hashem to make her stop and I would hate her inside. You are so brave and I know I don’t know
You but I am so proud of you for being so strong. I think your mother needs help and I really don’t think things will chance until admits that.. Where is your father in all this?