JayMatt19,
I am not disagreeing that in the normal course of events if there is a kesubah there is a maaseh, and I am not disagreeing that if there is both it is worse than just a maaseh. I am pointing out that it is nearly absurd to think that the kesubah without a maaseh is worse than the maaseh itself.
In addition I am arguing that the it does not make sense for Yidden to get all worked up over the kesuba, when the main issue is the maaseh and we can’t stop that.