Popa, yes, that was my point to HaKatan.
As far as your “right” reason, why is his “taking home the bacon” as an exclusively spiritual (or intangible, if you will) contribution more conducive to the proper husband/wife relationship than if he were bringing home a paycheck?
Also, my maskana (so far) is actually that if guy is not currently learning full time and/or does not plan to do so for a few years after marriage, he is not looked at in the same vein as someone who is/will.
I’ve heard the theory that if a guy is working and learning, he’s a better bet than a guy who is currently just learning, but plans on working soon after marriage. The sevara is that the first guy is actually keeping sedorim even though he has tirdas haparnassah, and the second type hasn’t proved it; maybe when he leaves yeshiva he’ll hardly crack a sefer.
The problem with this in practice is, as I think we agree, that most serious learners stay in yeshiva full time while they’re bochurim.